I Am Selfish, I Am Brave
by Laurelthecutenerd
Summary: Tris is the new fitness trainer for the Dauntless pro football team. She escaped an abusive boyfriend and is learning how to be brave. Four is a team member intrigued by her wits and strength. He grew up in an abusive home and has no experience with healthy relationships. Will they be able to heal each other? AU/OOC
1. Chapter 1

**I Am Selfish, I Am Brave**

 **Rated T- (rape, abuse, and language)**

 **This is my first fanfiction please leave reviews I will love you forever. I promise it will be worth the read.**

 **Disclaimer- I do not own divergent. Also for the record I know nothing about football or fitness training, so naturally I am compelled to try a topic about both. Here goes nothing.**

 **Chapter One**

 **(Four's POV)**

When they said we had a new fitness trainer, I was definitely not expecting this. Zeke gives me a look from across the locker room, and I know I'm not the only one surprised. If the coach hadn't introduced Tris as our trainer, I would have thought she was lost.

Tris is short, maybe 5'3", and petite, but very toned. Her long blonde hair is pulled into a loose ponytail and she is wearing long sleeves and yoga pants, all black. She looks nervous, but determined. Tris has a lot of guts braving the men's locker room, even before practice it smells like foot. Peter wolf whistles at her as he walks around in nothing but a towel, and I immediately respect her for flipping him off without the coach standing next to her seeing. I laugh out loud and she looks at me with a smile. Her facial features are soft and her eyes are a light, bright blue. Her smile is intriguing and I realize she is rather beautiful. She looks away first, the floor suddenly becoming rather interesting.

I must have been looking too long, because I am definitely wearing my shoes on the wrong feet. I fix them quickly hoping no one has noticed my error. Zeke would never let me hear the end of it if he caught me staring at a girl. I slide on my pads and my number four jersey over my trusty tank quickly. Only Zeke has seen my tattoo and scars, and I would like to keep it that way. I grab my practice bag and sit on the bench waiting for Uriah and Zeke. They walk over to me, Uri tripping Zeke on the way, and sit down.

"Damn Four, someone has the hots for the new trainer!" Zeke slaps me on the back. How could he have figured that out?

"I have no idea what you are talking about." As I say it, even I don't believe a word. But I could never admit that to Zeke, or he would harass her for her number and embarrass me until I lost any chance of her finding me remotely sane. Zeke gets a huge goofy grin on his face, and I know he's ready to run over to her and embarrass me. Before he has the chance to stand, I grab him by the ear and literally drag him out of the locker room. As we pass Tris he winks at her, causing me to elbow him hard in the ribs while she stands there looking confused. Sometimes I hate Zeke so much.

Practice is long and cold and brutal. The Chicago air keeps all of us moving as we run practice drills and many, many laps.

I look over to the sidelines and almost drop the ball as I see Tris sitting there, shivering, but writing furiously in a notebook. What could she possibly be doing? I watch as she looks up, and crinkles her eyes in concentration, carefully observing Drew as he kicks. I crack a smile as she scribbles again. She appears to be taking notes. I am amazed at how out of place she looks, and the seriousness of her fa- _Whack!_

"Fuck!" I feel a sting against my cheek and I blink hard, looking up for the guy who just threw the ball. I spot Peter about ten yards away, smirking. Figures. I rub my sore cheek and try to regain my composure so I don't kick the ball back at his face. I look to where Tris is sitting and my cheeks feel hot. She is looking directly at me, her body shaking with laughter. She covers her smile with her hand and looks down, writing quickly. Now, my humiliation will forever live in that journal of hers. I force myself to look away, before I end up getting a tooth knocked out or something. I resolve to focus on the game and the cold, not the pretty girl sitting there writing about me getting nailed in the face for staring at her. This was going to be a long practice.

…

After a while, the cold air gets really unbearable and the only escape is the weight room, my personal favorite. The shiny equipment greets us like the warm air in the room. I notice Tris standing next to the mirrored wall, jaw dropped at the huge room filled with state of the art exercise equipment. The coach approaches her and chuckles.

"Will it do the trick?" She just nods in response to him. It is clear she has never worked for the NFL before.

I make my way to the bench press, probably my favorite training tool besides punching bags, but we don't have those here. I set the bar with my weights and get to work, setting a steady rhythm and letting my head drift.

I really, truly hope Zeke doesn't say anything to Tris. She must get hit on all the time, especially in this line of work. Zeke thinks that because he finally married Shauna, he is the expert on women. I hope he has the sense not to do something stupid and I would like to think he does, but Zeke is also known for doing incredibly dumb things. I have gone on a blind double date with him and Shauna so many times, I know how truly bad he is at understanding what girls are really like. The conversation taking place in front of my weight rack interrupts my thoughts, and I set down the bar.

"Wow. I am so impressed by your one-handed pushups that your appreciation of my ass just _flatters_ me. I didn't even know anyone could do a pushup with only _one hand_. You're so strong." Her voice is just hinting at sarcasm, and as she finishes her sentence, she throws her notebook on the ground and does fifty pushups on the spot. With one hand. Faster than Peter.

Peter mumbles something under his breath and walks away to the pull up bar. Tris simply stands, dusts off her pants, picks up her notebook, and walks off. I become aware of the silence in the room and my dropped jaw, and I watch as she sits by the weight rack and writes some more in her book, smirking. Damn this girl is so hot.

I fight the urge to run after her and kiss her for dissing Peter so freaking well. Zeke looks like he wants to do the same thing. I regret doubting this girl for even a second.

 **Laurel**


	2. Chapter 2

**I Am Selfish, I Am Brave**

 **Thanks for all the love, I was a little scared everyone would hate it. Your reviews made me want to write another chapter, thank you for the support.**

 **Chapter 2**

 **Disclaimer- I don't own anything.**

 **Rated T- (rape, abuse, language)**

 **( I promise the whole chapter is not as depressing as the beginning)**

 **(Tris POV, picking up from where we left off)**

Writing seems to be the only thing that can calm my nerves today. My hand flies across the page as I record every detail I can gather from watching the team practice. I know I will probably never read these notes again, but at least it helps me focus as I try to absorb as much as I can. I will not be caught with my guard down. I will not show any weakness in front of the team. I make my rounds through the weights room one last time, careful to stay as far away from Peter as possible.

I feel out of my league here. The equipment in this room, and the obvious skill of the team, makes me feel like maybe I am not needed. But I do notice some things. Drew holds his arms too far apart when he does pullups, Uriah runs with his feet pointing inward. I have almost five messy pages filled with tiny, but important details I would like to fix. To help prevent injury.

I look at my notebook one last time and sigh. I mentally repeat the words I have written on the inside cover of my journal to help me stay confident. _I am supposed to be here. They need me. They can learn something from me. I am capable._

Christina taught me this trick. She inspired me to become a physical therapist, and eventually I became a fitness trainer. After I was finally able to escape Eric's grasp, I had to go through over a year of physical therapy to undo the damage he inflicted on my body. We had been together six years, and three of them were dictated by his verbal, sexual, and very physical abuse. Christina was the first person I let myself trust, she got me through recovery as my physical therapist. She's the only one who knows the full story of what happened to me. I moved in with her after I got out of the hospital, and she has been my sister and my support system ever since. If it weren't for her faith in me, I wouldn't have even interviewed for this job. She is my source of confidence and I love her so much. I can't let her down today. I add another sentence to the inside cover of my journal, thinking of what she would tell me if she were with me right now. _You are loved._

I have words like this to keep my anxiety at bay. Repeating these things like mantras in my head is the only thing that keeps me from panicking sometimes. If I don't repeat these words, I know I will repeat the ones Eric forced me to believe instead. _You are worthless. No one will believe you. No one wants someone like you. You can never-_

I dig my nails into my palm to pull myself out of my thoughts. I'm still healing. I probably will be healing my whole life. _It's okay to not be okay._ But right now I'm here. And I have definitely been watching Four running on the treadmill for way too long, standing directly behind him. Yikes. I hope he didn't notice. I try to back away casually, and my foot conveniently catches on a dumbbell on the floor, and I yelp as I fall backwards. I manage to catch myself on an empty bench press and I'm perfectly fine, but the small scream makes Four hit the emergency stop on the treadmill and whirl around to see if I was okay. He had been running pretty fast though, and he has to grab the bar to keep from falling. I laugh as he drops to his knees holding the bar while he tries to stop his head from spinning. I walk over to make sure he didn't hurt himself in the process.

"Smooth." I smile at him as he gives up on standing. He slumps on the treadmill with his head in his hands, laughing hysterically.

"I am well known for being clumsy in the presence of those who are taking notes on me." He smirks. I feel a blush coming on, my face flushes with my embarrassment.

"First a football to the face, now you try to walk off a moving treadmill, you are proving to be a very interesting subject." I smile at his obvious mortification. "Get to work pansy cake!" I say with my best serious trainer face. His jaw drops in mock hurt, and he finally stands and walks over to the pull up bar. His muscles bulge under his tight black shirt and I have to force myself to look away.

I walk back to the coach, Max, and I wait for them to finish. After weight room I am supposed to call them into the training room one by one to do physical assessments while they do tire flips, jump rope, and suicide runs outside. A sick, twisted, exercise junkie part of me wants nothing more than to run around outside with them, but any more exercise today and I would surely injure myself. One day, I promise myself I will be able to keep up with them.

I decide I should go set up the training room with everything I need. As I walk down the long hallway, I flip through my notebook to locate my plan for today. I was originally certified as a physical therapist, but dealing with victims of attacks and accidents reminded me too much of my situation when I first started recovery. By becoming a fitness trainer, I could stick to correcting form and demonstrations and less hands on work. I've helped quite a few people get in shape and change their lives, and sports is the next challenge for me.

I've always been into nutrition and I originally wanted to become a health teacher, but after college I was basically trapped at home or at the Dauntless bar, working to pull my own weight in Eric's house. Now I am a huge believer in healthy living and yoga, giving back to your body can do so much for your emotional and physical state. I am going to try my best to convince Max to let me teach a yoga class or two for the team, but I doubt he will take me seriously. _They need me. They can learn something from me._ I smile, considering today's mantras victorious over my anxiety. Catching it before it takes over is the most important fight. I round the corner into the training room.

This room is the only place Max actually took me on my "tour" this morning. The walls are filled with various stretch bands, rails, yoga balls, exercise mats, and foam blocks. The far side has several massage tables and cots, and the wall to my right has big metal bathtubs for cool downs. I have everything I could possibly need here. I will put it to good use.

Today, I just need to get measurements from everyone. Simple, boring things like flexibility, weight and height, and past injuries. Tomorrow is when the fun truly begins, but the things I do today are still important. I lay down a few exercise mats and move stuff around so I have more room to work. Now, off to select my first victim.

….

The day drags on until my notebook is virtually full of numbers. One by one, the entire team gets all of their measurements in. The team outside looks exhausted, and when I finally get to Peter, he is in prime asshole mode. It takes exactly two seconds for me to have the urge to fill one of the bathtubs in the back and drown him in it.

"I'm gonna call you Stiff." His eyes roam up and down my body, smirking.

"I'm gonna stick to calling you Asshole. It suits you." This only eggs him on. "Sit down with your legs straight in front of you, I need to measure your reach." I refuse to show any hesitation. _They need me here. I know what I'm doing._ He sits and leans back on his elbows.

"Seriously though. Stop being so uptight, and just relax Stiff. I can show you a good time." I scoff at him, and nudge the sole of his foot with my shoe.

"Shut up and reach for your damn feet, or I'll tell Max you fucked up your ankle and need to sit out for the game next week." I am surprised by my boldness, and maybe he is too. Just a little bit. He reaches for his toes and I quickly take the measurement.

He is sluggish to do what I say, but he holds back crude comments long enough for me to finish. The way he rolls his eyes when he looks at me indicates our feud has only begun. Great. Day one, and I have met my arch nemesis. I can feel his stare on my ass as I turn around to get the door for him. As he walks by, he leans in and whispers in my ear.

"Nice ass, Stiff. Threaten me again and just see what happens to you." I can feel my skin crawl. I shiver, and feel the urge to take a bath myself.

I sigh and close the door, slumping to sit against it. I will not cry here. His words remind me of how Eric spoke to me, like I was a piece of meat. I cannot let him get to me or it will ruin my chance at being a good trainer for this team. _You are good at this._ I allow myself another minute of feeling sorry for myself, then I stand and grab my notebook with fresh determination.

It is getting late and I know I'm almost done. I check my list and see one final name not yet marked off. _Four._ I smile and walk down the hallway with a spring in my step.

I wait for him to finish his suicide run, and I call him to come for measurements. He smiles and follows me back to the training room.

"Peter looked way too happy when he came back outside. What did he do?" He looks concerned.

"Just what you would expect from someone with his kindness and charisma. At least he didn't try to grab my ass. Well, not yet anyway. There's still time." I see his fist tighten at his side. "Don't worry, being a girl in this line of work has prepared me well. I have worked with many an asshole." He shakes his head.

"You better tell me if he tries anything. I would hate to see you having to deal with that alone, ok?" He smiles and then looks down, a little shyer than when he started his sentence.

"I can take care of myself, but thanks for looking out for me. It means a lot. If it comes down to taking revenge, you can join Zeke and Uri as my partners in crime. They both already offered to help me shrink wrap his car." He laughs and rolls his eyes.

"I'm in." He smiles.

I open the door to the training room and tell him to go to the scale in the corner. After I record his weight, I casually step on the chair I unfortunately had to position behind the bar that I slide up to measure his height. I learned my lesson after I had to jump like an idiot to get the bar high enough for the top of Zeke's head. Four is 6'3", and currently shaking with poorly suppressed laughter.

"And yet you wonder why Peter makes fun of you." He smirks.

"Ouch. I'm not short, alright! 5'3" is not that short, you're just ridiculously tall!" I hop off the chair and grab my notebook to record everything.

"Nerd."

"Freak." His making fun of me feels completely different than what I feared if I let my guard down. I don't feel like he's questioning my authority even a little bit. We are bickering like friends, and it feels really nice to let go after such an incredibly stressful and long day.

"Go sit, I need to do your measurements." He hops off the scale and sits with a smile.

I instruct him how to move and I record, going through the motions. As he goes to reach for his feet, his back is arching too far and his hands are just above his ankles. Without thinking, I stand next to him and carefully press on the middle of his muscular back, attempting to reduce the stretch there. His muscles tighten under my fingertips and I feel a blush creep across my cheeks. He looks at me for a second, then looks at my hand and straightens out a bit, bending more at the waist this time. His arms are still low, so I gently place my hand under his bicep, and I feel his triceps tense again against my palm. I move his arm up and forget what I was doing. All I can think about was the way his skin felt against my hand. My heartrate speeds up and I am positive my face is the same bright red as the exercise mat Four is currently sitting on. Right, Four. Measurements. That is what I was doing. I look up from the mat and see him staring at me curiously. He's probably wondering why my cheeks are beet red.

"Am I doing it correctly now?" I snap out of my daze and scurry to grab my notebook. I quickly realize I can't write anything down, because I haven't even taken the measurement yet. Oops. Get it together Tris! You barely touched this man and now you can't think straight! What the hell is wrong with you, grab your stupid tape measure already!

"Tris?" He is reasonably concerned, I have made him touch his toes for a good minute now.

"Sorry give me a second, I just started to zone out, I'm really tired." The words tumble out of my mouth.

"It's ok. Just relax, you've got time." He smiles kindly.

I quickly complete his measurements and record them, careful to only make corrections verbally, like I had done with the rest of the team. When I'm done I thank him and go to open the door.

"Bye Nerd. I'll see you tomorrow. Get some sleep. I think you did awesome today, Short Stuff." He smiles and winks at me. I smile wide, despite the cheesy nickname. I really needed that.

"Bye Four. You better be ready for tomorrow, I'm gonna kick ass by the way. Just warning you as a courtesy." I smirk.

"Peter's not going to know what hit him." He smiles and turns to walk down the hall. As he rounds the corner, he turns back and winks at me again. I feel a flutter in my stomach.

….

On the way home, I go over my encounters with Four over and over again in my head. It feels dangerous, like I'm playing with fire. Even though I've been burned so badly in my past.

For the first time in 7 years, I dream about running, not away from Eric, but towards something. I think running feels free.

I feel brave.

 **Laurel**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **Disclaimer- I still don't own anything.**

 **Rated T- (abuse, rape, language)**

 **(Tris's POV)**

 _I am running along a dirt road, weaving through the trees on the mountainside. I am all alone, but I am not scared. The wind pushes me forward and I feel like I'm flying. I run faster around the bend and suddenly I'm on the football field. I race back and forth and do cartwheels in the touchdown zone. I feel a rush of euphoria, and I lay on the ground with my face to the sky, panting and smiling from ear to ear. I feel the grass on my arms and realize I'm wearing a dress, something I haven't done since college. My scars are on display, but I don't care. I turn and see Four, laughing and running in my direction. As he approaches me, he lays on the ground next to me, looking up at the clouds. He interlocks his fingers gently with mine. We lay like this for a while, looking at each other instead of the clouds. The blue in his eyes is more beautiful than any sky. We are free.  
_

I wake up disoriented. It is still dark in my room, but my alarm clock is ringing. It reads 5:30, and I remember I decided to give myself time to do yoga this morning before I go to work early. I jump out of bed, yoga gives me relief from my anxiety and I need that today.

As I go through the stretches, my mind drifts instead of focusing on my breathing like it should. I think about my dream. I don't know why my subconscious is so focused on Four. He was kind to me, something I wasn't expecting from a tough looking pro football player. He seemed quiet, he kept to himself most of practice, unlike Zeke and Uriah who seemed to be goofing off every chance they got. Despite this, however, it seemed like Four was friends with the Pedrad boys. He seemed to enjoy their good natured immaturity. He seemed otherwise serious and focused. I was surprised to catch him staring at me from the field. Maybe he just took pity on me.

I force myself to focus on my body, yoga was not for stressing about what I couldn't control. I let my mind go numb as I meditate, before I take a nice hot shower. I let the hot water sooth my nerves.

When I emerge, I walk rush past my bathroom mirror for the towel hanging on my closet door. I still can't stand to look at my body. My scars are too numerous to count, and they remind me of how weak of a girl I used to be. I am ashamed of my scars, and I don't know if I will ever trust anyone but Christina to see them. Christina tells me my scars are a reminder of my strength, my will to live, but I just don't see them that way. I'm no hero, just a victim. No matter how hard I try, I feel like Eric will always control some parts of me. I feel like my weakness is engraved in my skin, in every scar he put there.

I finish drying off and grab a simple pair of black yoga pants. I look around for a shirt, but all I can find is one grey long sleeved workout top. I know this one is too loose, and it has the potential to reveal a little skin near my waistline. I search for another one, but all I discover is a pair of sweats. I need to do laundry. I would borrow some from Christina, but I know she doesn't have any clothes I would be willing to wear in public. I find a sweatshirt in my bag with the words, "To Write Love On Her Arms." on the chest. It's my favorite jacket, a birthday present from Christina. I know once I get going during training I'll be too hot and have to take it off, but for now it will make me more comfortable. Christina barges in as I'm struggling to comb my long, damp hair.

"Let me French braid your hair! Aw, I love it when you wear that jacket. Do you want me to do your makeup?" She talks quickly, which is very uncharacteristic of her in the morning. I roll my eyes.

"I'm working out, there's no way I'm wearing makeup." She sighs and grabs a brush to work through my hair.

"But _Four_ will be there!" She grins evilly, knowing how much her teasing would annoy me. I just roll my eyes again. After work I told her everything about my day, without really focusing on him. She decided, however, that Four was my true love. Thank god she would never have the chance to talk to him or I could never show my face at practice again. Christina may gossip a lot, but she listens closely and is far too good at reading people. I still think she would make a good lawyer, but she says she could never defend someone in court who she thought might be guilty. Plus, she is kind of a kickass physical therapist.

"Your mom called by the way, at like 2:30 a.m., it was crazy. I told her what time it was but she still wanted to talk to you." I sigh in defeat. My parents left the US to work as missionaries in Uganda as soon as I left for college. I haven't seen them since. They don't know about my new job, and never even found out about Eric. I couldn't bring myself to tell them, I know they would've be disappointed in me and come home. I couldn't take them away from their work, I know it made them so happy. I will have to call back late at night, they always forget the time change, and tell them how much fun I'm having with my perfect job and perfect friends and perfect imaginary life. I have never been that close with my parents, and living across the world completely ended my ability to share anything with them.

"Can I go yet? I'll call her back later. I'm gonna be late soon." She ties off my braid and hugs me tightly. I smile and wrap my arms around her. She is the only person in the world allowed to hug me.

"You've got this. Have fun today, ok." I smile and let go, gathering my stuff.

"Love you Chris."

"Love you too, Tris. Now go show those boys who's boss." She shoves my gym bag in my hand and tries to rush past her room into the kitchen. I brush her off and run to her room to see what she is hiding. I know her too well to fall for that one. I shove my head inside the door and spot a very naked Will, sound asleep and twisted face-down in Christina's bed sheets. I gasp and begin to laugh. Chris shoves her hand over my mouth and drags me out to avoid waking Will. She releases me in the hallway and I collapse in laughter.

"Well someone was busy last night!" I am gasping for air and Chris is turning an unusual shade of purple. She and Will have been dating for a year or so now, but she is always careful to keep our apartment free of naked men, for my sake. I went to bed early last night, so she must have smuggled him in.

"I'm sorry Tris, late last night he came over with wine and I couldn't help myself. He was so cute!" She buries her head in her hands and continues laughing, I give her a hug and grab my stuff, escaping before Will has a chance to wake up and realize I caught him naked.

"You two are so cute, but I'm leaving now so I don't end up seeing more of Will's butt. Please do me a favor and have him clothed when I get home." I tease Christina and she just runs into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. I roll my eyes and make my way downstairs, grinning at how immature we both are. I jump in my car and begin the long drive to work.

I mentally make my plan for the day. Today is a conditioning day, and now that I am settled in, the team will return to using the training room during practice. I will spend the morning cleaning and getting the room ready for cool down baths, massages, and treating injuries. I will spend some of the morning observing them on the field and in the weight room again, only today I can correct things and work to fix bad habits. I pull in and the lot is empty, except for a black truck.

I make my way to the training room, and I hear a locker close as I pass the changing room. I cautiously poke my head in, and I see Four in a black shirt and basketball shorts, his earbuds blasting some kind of rock music. I wave to him and he jumps, startled to see another person here this early. He pulls his earbuds out and smiles at me. I sit on the bench next to him.

"Hey Tris, what are you doing here?" He smells like sweat and metal, in the best way. _He remembers my name._

"I could ask you the same thing!" I gesture to his sweaty t-shirt, which sticks to his chest. His well-defined abs send my heart into a flutter. God, what is wrong with my brain. Like I would ever be able to have a normal relationship. As if he would ever notice me in the first place. I fidget nervously and my thumbs find the holes torn into my sleeves. Almost every shirt I own has small tears in the wrist from anxiously shoving my thumbs through the fabric. _So weird._

"I came to get some extra practice in." He looks down.

"It's not like you need it." I gesture to his figure and feel the heat rush to my cheeks, realizing the possible implication behind what I just said. He doesn't seem to notice.

"I just couldn't sleep very well. It helps take my mind off of everything." I nod in understanding. Sometimes I wind up doing yoga in our living room just to pass the time until the sun comes up. When my nightmares end in panic attacks, nothing in the world can soothe me back to sleep. I can see stress and exhaustion in his eyes, slightly puffy and red.

"What are you doing here Tris?" He smirks at my journal, still tucked under my arm. "Nerding out again?" I shrug sheepishly.

"I can't be caught off guard. Plus, I'm excited. I actually get to do work today." My nerves are slowly turning into excitement. I check the clock and I realize the rest of the team should be arriving soon.

"I can't wait. Go get ready, I need to take a shower. I'll see ya later, Nerd." He smirks at me and grabs a towel from his bag.

"Bye Freak." I smile and hurry to the training room.

I decide to set up all the massage tables first, then I lay out all the equipment I could possibly need to treat an injury. Finally, the room is prepped and I doodle in my notebook as I wait for practice to start. It's kind of sick to hope someone gets injured, but I honestly want nothing more than to help stretch out a strained ankle. I decide to brave the locker room, and I even manage to convince myself to leave my notebook behind.

Back in the locker room, it takes all of my energy to keep a straight face as Peter walks around in nothing but underwear, in large circles around me. There is no sign of Max yet, and without the coach, the only thing that stands between Peter and I is the bench in front of me. He keeps making eye contact and winking. It's unbelievably immature, but still it gets under my skin and makes me uncomfortable. Even though my job might be considered hands on, I'm still really scared of physical touch and intimacy. And an almost naked Peter. He walks behind me again and I force myself to stand still and ignore him to take away his power. But this tactic seems to challenge him.

"Like what you see, Stiff?" He whispers in my ear and I feel him brush against my back. I feel the hair on the back of my neck stand and I feel my skin crawl. His hand wraps around my upper arm. I inhale sharply and tense up, looking down. My blood goes cold. The feeling is back. He is still there, his mouth close to my ear. I want to scream, but I force myself to stay still. _Don't touch me don't touch me don't touch me don't tou-_

"What the fuck is wrong with you! She clearly doesn't want you to talk to her. Peter, put your fucking pants on and go sit down like a normal person! If you mess with her again I will personally fuck your face up. Go ahead. Try me." Four was loud and unflinching, the entire locker room going uncharacteristically silent.

His volume makes my knees shake, but I find myself fighting the urge to melt into his arms for standing up for me. Peter uses what little sense he has, and returns to his locker, but not before sending a wink my way. I'm stuck, frozen with my arms crossed around my torso, and I inhale for the first time since Peter walked behind me. Four walks quickly to my side and puts a hand out to touch my shoulder. Despite his gentle touch, I instinctly flinch away and suck in a breath. I look down, avoiding his eyes. Four's eyebrows furrow in concern. I can feel the team staring. I want to run, out of the locker room and the Dauntless building, but that would only make my fear more obvious.

"Tris, are you ok?" His voice is soft, and he drops his hand from my shoulder. I allow myself to relax, letting out a small sign and unclenching my vice grip on my sides. My cheeks burn with embarrassment and fear, and I cover them with my cold palms. I want to melt into the floor. Damn you, Peter.

"Come on. Sit with me." He walks back to his locker and I follow, sitting carefully on the bench. The room slowly begins to return to a normal volume. I can feel my temples throbbing with my pulse. I work to calm my heart, still catching my breath. I stare at the red and black tiles lining the floor, avoiding Four's concerned gaze. We sit in silence until the coach comes, but I am relieved to have Four there. If he hadn't stepped in, I would probably be crumpled on the floor having a panic attack while Peter stood, laughing. I feel the familiar sense of weakness Eric was so good at forcing on me. I am ashamed something as stupid as a whisper could almost send me into a panic attack. It is all my fault. _I am so pathetic._

I bite my lip to hold back tears, and I decide to escape to the training room. I force a smile at Four and stand quickly, ducking my head past Max as I quickly exit. As I round the corner I feel the tears begin to trail down my cheeks, but I don't make a sound. After six years of abuse I have become the expert on not making a sound, no matter how much pain I'm in. Maybe I'm not cut out for this job. _Or any job, really._ I fumble with the keys to the training room and I hear footsteps coming down the hall. The keys clash loudly to the floor, making me jump. I mutter a string of profanities under my breath and my hands shake so much it becomes pointless to try picking them up. I desperately swipe at the tears on my face and pray no one will notice I'm crying. I inhale deeply and turn around to face my follower. _No one should see me like this._

"Tris, what's wrong? Are you crying? What did he say to you?" Four. Again. His concern is written everywhere and it's really hard to hate him even though I really wish he wasn't here. I try to wipe away my tears, but they are coming too fast now. I struggle for the keys, and he is beside me in a second. He picks up the ring and unlocks the door, following me in. I sigh and sit on a cot, refusing to look at him.

"What did he do to you Tris?" His eyes are wide and soft. I feel bad lying to him.

"Just go Four, I'm fine." I bite hard on my lip and wince, accidentally drawing blood.

"I don't believe anyone should cry alone." His eyes are so sincere and so _blue_ , I have to clench the table to keep from burying my head in his chest. Why does he have to be so damn sweet? I can't let him see me like this.

"It's nothing, seriously. He was just being annoying. I'm just tired, and hormonal. Just leave me alone ok? I don't need your help." I feel a surge of guilt as the words tumble out. Trying to be nonchalant about this is killing me. Half of me wants to break down and tell him everything, and the other half wants to run away. But I can't do either of these things. I literally met him yesterday. I see confusion flash across his eyes, followed by hurt. I don't think he believes me, and my refusal to spill makes him feel a bit betrayed.

"Okay, whatever you say. I'm gonna go then." He doesn't meet my eyes. I am thankful he gives up, but as I feel the tears resurfacing my heart wishes he had stayed anyway. _You just met this man yesterday. He's just being nice. You're pathetic. He's only taking pity on you._

I let the tears fall for a few more minutes before I dust myself off and go outside. It's shaping up to be a really long day.

 **-Laurel**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **Disclaimer- Still don't own anything.**

 **Rated T- (soon mentions of abuse, rape, and strong language)**

 **Thank you all for the reviews (and the awesome PMs!) they really mean the world to me, especially since this is my first fanfiction. 3**

 **(Tris POV, same day)**

As I pace around the sidelines during practice, I feel some eyes linger, but maybe I am imagining it. I'm still fairly embarrassed by my little scene earlier, but it could have been worse. Thank god for Four.

Now I am stuck pacing and waiting, trying not to pray someone gets injured so I have something fun to do. It would be _so_ nice if Peter broke something, but at this point I have no desire to help him, despite the fact it's only my second day here. Max was called into a meeting with some sponsors this morning, so somehow I'm in charge. I just instruct the team to do basic drills, and luckily they seem to be listening. It gets warm pretty fast, even though the breeze is cool. I carefully remove my sweatshirt and anxiously cross my arms over my stomach.

"Ooh look at the Stiff, showing some skin!" _Peter._ I clench my hands and dig my nails into my palms for the third time today. _Ouch._

Even though he is on the other side of the field, I can see his sneer from here. The whole team has stopped to look, Peter's juvenile taunting catching their attention too. I raise my hand in the air with my middle finger up as high as possible and the team laughs. While Peter is looking at me, Four takes the much desired opportunity to spike the football at the back of Peter's neck. He starts spewing profanities and even begins to chase Four around the field, but with no coach and Four's superior physical fitness, his efforts prove inferior.

Eventually the team resumes drills as Peter stands there with smoke spouting from his ears. I resume pacing and boredom, satisfied with my coaching duties. Four catches my eyes and winks and I smile despite my thoughts. I'm still mentally scolding myself for wearing this shirt. Why couldn't I have just kept my jacket on? _Slut. No wonder he harasses you, you're just asking for it._

My shirt really isn't short by normal standards, but I am used to wearing the baggiest clothes I can find, much to Christina's protest. Maybe I will have to let her take me shopping soon. Yikes. I resolve to keep my jacket off, even though I want nothing more than to put in on and hide in some chair on the sidelines. But then Peter wins, and I can't afford to give him the satisfaction. I compromise by keeping my arms firmly wrapped around my stomach, even if it kind of hurts and doesn't look very natural. I have a lot to hide under my shirt.

I still remember the day I went to the tattoo parlor. I had only been in physical therapy a few months, and I was still underweight and using a cane to walk. It was one of the first times I escaped the hospital, and the first time Christina and I did anything fun and rebellious together. She had to buy clothes to cover all my scars, and smuggle me out without her boss seeing. She took me to her friend Tori's tattoo parlor and I told her my story and what I wanted the tattoo to say. Christina said that it was one of the most important parts of my recovery. Reclaiming my body. Making my scarred and battered skin my own. My first tattoo was simple, and it has been followed by many since then. I got it on my stomach, just below my belly button and just above my waistline. In plain script, it simply says: _Mine._ In my mind, Eric wouldn't have been able to look away from that word when he had forced my knees apart and pushed himself inside of me all those times. It was my precious act of rebellion and I left that parlor with my head held high. Now, my stomach feels like my own, like the scars and the freckles and everything else that is unique about my body. But I would never show anyone what I hide under my clothes. Confidence is tricky because it takes so long to rebuild when it is broken. Longer than it takes for cuts and bones and bruises to heal. I don't stress about revealing my stomach because I'm conservative, I cover it up because it reveals so much about my past. Maybe I will never find a person besides Christina who is allowed to see it.

I am snapped out of my thoughts by Al, who falls hard on his right shoulder when he trips over his own feet in the middle of the field. My prayers have been answered. I run over and it doesn't seem to be dislocated, but I make him go to the training room to check. I leave Four in charge as Al follows me off the field.

"Don't kill each other, unless if it's Peter and you can make it look like an accident. Max should be back soon." I look him in the eyes, "Thank you." In that moment I realize I'm thanking him for more than watching the team for a while.

"No problem Tris. Let me know if you need anything." His smile is sincere.

Al whines a lot about his arm. I know it must be painful because he's a big guy and most of his weight fell on it, but he sounds like a little kid. He's getting on my nerves.

"Does it hurt if I do this?" I push slightly on his neck. I know for a fact this part of him should not hurt from his fall.

"I hurts all over I don't knooooow." It comes out in a whine. I just stretch it out anyway.

I work on his shoulder for a solid half hour before he stops complaining, and it still hasn't started to bruise or even turn red so I'm wondering if all his whining is warranted, but I'm still satisfied with my work. I start applying athletic tape around his shoulder.

"I like your hair, it looks really nice. It's a nice color." It's the first thing out of his mouth that's not a complaint.

"That's nice... thank you?" I reply hesitantly, feeling fairly awkward.

When I look back at him, however, he is definitely not looking at my hair. I look down to see if my shirt moved or something, and to my relief it has not. I feel very uncomfortable, his stare has become a bit obvious. I don't even understand why he is looking. My breasts aren't really worth staring at anyway. I clear my throat loudly and pull back his arm one more time. Yeah I'm done here.

"All done. You can go back to practice now." I stand and busy myself organizing the stretch bands for the third time this morning. He walks up next to me, hesitating.

"So listen, Drew and I are gonna see a movie this weekend. Do you wanna like come with or something?" I have to fight to keep a straight face. That was pretty awful. Did he just ask me out?

"Sorry but my boyfriend Chris and I are going shopping this weekend. But thanks for the offer." I'm satisfied by how real this excuse sounds. Christina is going to shit herself when she hears about this later.

"Ok. Whatever." He walks out quickly and I let out a shaky sigh of relief. Thank god he didn't get mad. I am all alone in here and he could have made a move or something. I decide to go back out to the field.

When I exit the outside doors, I burst out laughing. The entire team is doing pushups together in the middle of the field, while Four is barking out numbers, resembling a General yelling at his recruits. His face is serious and stern, opposite of any time I have a conversation with him.

"146, 147, 148, 149, 150! Alright get up and run a lap!" His voice is deep, and sweat beads on his forehead. His biceps are bulging and I have to remind myself to breath for a second. The team is scrambling to their feet, even Peter, and they all head to the track. I wave at Four and he smiles, jogging over to me.

"Damn Four, you whipped them into shape. Max will be proud. You would make a good coach." I ignore the little flutter in my stomach as he stands with his hands on the back of his head. His tight black shirt shifts to reveal an inch or so of his muscled stomach and I catch a brief glimpse of the waistline of his underwear. Jockey. Interesting.

"Coaching isn't really my thing. I don't want to be in charge of dumbasses like Peter. He only listens so much before he goes back to sexual harassment." I laugh hard at this. "By the way, what did you do to Al? He looked pretty pissed when he came out here." He stretches out his back and winces. Maybe I will take a look at it later.

"I may have shot him down a little. I'm not sure if he was actually asking me out or not though. Not really something I have experience with." I shrug sheepishly. Four rolls his eyes and chuckles.

"Well I thought Al was gay until this moment, so who knows right? He was probably asking you out though, or he wouldn't be so pissed. I wouldn't doubt it." My cheeks flush red again, and I just shake my head.

"Either way I definitely fixed his shoulder, and now I have nothing to do again. Could you do me a favor and like majorly twist your ankle? I would really appreciate that." I work to keep a straight face, and he bursts out laughing.

"You're cute Tris." My cheeks must resemble a tomato at this point. I cover my smile with my hand. "Just wait, I'm sure either Zeke or Uriah will do something stupid soon enough. This team isn't exactly known for being coordinated." I chuckle. I spot Max walking back, on his phone like always. The rest of the team is still running while Four stands here. Oops.

"Go run your lap, slacker! Don't hurt yourself. Too much." I gesture to Max and he jogs off smoothly to the rest of the team. Max comes over, hanging up the phone.

"I think we should move them back to the weight room, they could use it. Thanks for covering for me." He is still looking at his phone.

"No problem Max, they listened pretty well and at one point Al hurt his shoulder, but I fixed it up pretty nicely. Four took over for a while and he did really well." I can tell Max isn't really paying attention, so I shut up.

"That's nice. Tell them to go to the weight room." He's still texting. Whatever. He's my boss, after all. I run back to where the team is taking a break.

"Hey guys, lets head to the weight room now. Drink some water and meet me there." I'm using my best serious trainer voice, which is not very convincing.

Immediately Zeke and Uriah take this as a challenge and they race each other there, pushing and tripping their way off the field. Four and I exchange a look and I laugh, then I jog to catch up with them. When I get into the room I find them both on the pull up bar, facing each other. As they try to pull themselves up, they keep kicking each other in an effort to make the other one fall. It was only a matter of time until I would have to treat their injuries.

As the rest of the team filters in, Max starts barking orders and he sends me to the training room. One by one, the team starts to come in looking for various help with old injuries and nutrition advice. I spend the whole afternoon feeling like a superhero. It's a good steady pace of stretching out injuries and I even give a few massages. At one point Uriah brings me lunch and amazing chocolate cake from their super deluxe cafeteria, in exchange for a back massage. I am already totally corrupt. Zeke manages to injure his "spine muscle" and apparently the only cure for that is a back massage, "like the one Uri got". I really enjoy their sense of humor, so I just roll my eyes and tell Zeke he's grabbing my lunch tomorrow. As I'm working on a shirtless, mostly asleep Zeke, Four walks in. He kind of lingers near the side wall, watching me and messing with some foam blocks. I finish up with Zeke and approach him.

"Anything I can help you with? I'm kind of awesome at fixing stuff today." I smile, but he looks uneasy. Is he nervous about something?

"I'm ok right now. When do you leave?" He looks casual, almost like he is trying to hide something. He glances around the room at Zeke, Uri, Drew and Edward, who are all working with the stretch bands doing exercises I've showed them. Except for Zeke, who is sleeping on the massage table.

"Whenever I'm done. Usually around 4:00, but I can stay later if you need me. You can set up an appointment if you want and I can clear the room for you. Just let me know, ok?" He looks a bit relieved.

"Can I come by at 3:00? Unless if that doesn't work, I don't want to make you stay longer if-"I cut off his rambling.

"3:00 sounds perfect, Four. It's no problem. Seriously." He rakes his hand through his hair.

"Cool. See you then. Thanks." He turns around quickly and leaves. Weird.

The clock reads 1:46, so I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Since practice will be over soon, I fill the cool down baths and make Uriah go tell the team they can come use them. Next thing I know, my tile floor is covered in shirtless, smelly men. Great. I avoid the three big metal tubs against the wall as much as possible, but it doesn't save me from seeing just about every team member in nothing but basketball shorts. I sit behind my desk and bury my head in my journal to keep my nerves at bay. Though none of the team members are paying any attention to me, the amount of bare skin in the room is enough to put me on edge. I think I can get away with sitting here until they all clear out. I notice Four is the only one wearing a shirt, which is still soaked, though he struggles to wring it out. Why he would wear a shirt when no one else is? I escape to get some towels, and I hand him one when I return.

"Thanks Tris. I'll see you later. I'm gonna go shower."

Four leaves well before anyone else, and ten minutes later he returns. His hair is wet and he's wearing fresh clothes with a locker room towel draped around his neck. He leans casually against the wall, listening to music again. A few minutes after he returns, the team begins to filter out, going to the locker room to take showers. I check the time and see its 3:12. Oops. I walk over to Four and he pulls out his earbuds.

"It's almost 3:15, I'm sorry I wasn't watching. I'll stay as long as you need though, I have nothing to do. What can I help you with?" He doesn't move, he just looks around the room at the remaining Dauntless team members.

"Finish up first, I'll wait." His voice is cool and relaxed, but his hands grip the counter in a way I'm quite familiar with. He's nervous. I want to ask him why, but the way he focuses on the floor makes me think he might run off. I go to the baths and drain the water, and I work to clean everything up. I notice Four picking up the remaining blocks and bands on the floor, stacking them away neatly. In a few minutes, the room is cleaned and it's just the two of us. He removes his earbuds and wanders over to sit on the edge of the massage table. If it was anyone else alone with me like this, I would be nervous. But I think I'm starting to trust Four, and his nerves distract me from my own anxiety. I relax and allow myself to put my guard down. It's Four.

"What can I help you with?" He takes a deep breath before answering, finally meeting my eyes.

"Did you know the old trainer, Amar?" I shake my head.

"I didn't even know that was his name. He didn't really leave any files for me."

"Well, he was transferred to another team, the Divergents. He got tired of Peter, and Max, and Jeanine, who is our main sponsor. Anyway, he used to help me a lot usually after practice. He was a close mentor and friend of mine, but he had to move." He looks down, shifting his weight from arm to arm on the table. I sit across from him, listening closely.

"Anyway, I have some really bad back problems. My muscles got pretty messed up back when I was a kid." His gaze is fixed on the floor. He takes a long pause. "Maybe you can help me, maybe you can't. I figure it's worth a shot, you seem to know what you are doing. So… uhhh… I'm trusting you here. I don't know… maybe I sho-"

"Four, you can trust me. Whatever it is. It's ok." He meets my eyes for just a second before looking back down. He surprises me by reaching down and pulling his shirt over his head in one swift movement. He takes a deep breath, I keep my eyes on his. He slowly swings his legs around to the other side of his table. I bite my lip to keep from gasping.

His back is covered in scars.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **Disclaimer- I own nothing.**

 **Rated T- Mentions of abuse, rape, and strong language**

 **Also sorry, I don't like cliffhangers either but I didn't want to make that chapter too long. I've been sick all week and I just keep writing.**

 **Please review!**

 _His back is covered in scars._

Not normal scars, scars I recognize. They are the same ones I have on my back, stomach, ankles, and wrists. They were undoubtedly made by a belt. They snake all the way up to the base of his neck, and down to his sides and waist. Descending down his spine, a tattoo covers some of the scars in the middle. There are five circular symbols in a vertical line down his back. The one closest to his neck is a circle filled with fire, then one with two clasped hands, followed by scales, then an eye, and at the base of his spine, partially obscured by his pants, there is a tree. I have no idea what it means, but it is the most beautiful tattoo I have ever seen.

Before I realize I'm crying, I feel a tear streak all the way down my neck. I had no idea. Four seems so strong, like nothing could shake him. I never thought someone who suffered abuse could ever be this strong.

I've been quiet too long and Four turns to look at me, noticing my tears.

"Oh my god I'm sorry Tris. I'm so stupid. Don't worry about it, just never mind, I'll go find some massage place. I'll just go." He fumbles to put his shirt back on, standing up quickly. I struggle to find my voice. He has no idea how much his secret means to me.

"Four. Four!" He stops grabbing his stuff and looks at me, fear clouding his dark blue eyes. I want to tell him I'm sorry. I want to take off my shirt too, so he knows he's not alone. But I can't bring myself to do that. Instead, I think about what I would want to hear if I was in his shoes.

"I'm going to help you. It's ok. Your secret is safe with me. You can trust me." He lets out a shaky breath and slowly sets his bag down.

"I'm sorry I really didn't want to bother you with this, but it was bugging me so much at practice I just-"

"Don't apologize. You aren't bothering me. This is my job. I'm going to help you. It's ok." I look straight into his eyes, and they soften.

He removes his shirt again while I adjust the table to fit his height. He lays down carefully, and I grab the oil. I'm going to work on him until I'm sure there's nothing else I can do. Christina has given me a few massages like this, and I know exactly what he needs.

"Where does it hurt the most?" I put the massage oil in this fancy warming thing under the table, and I wash and moisturize my hands.

"Honestly? It kind of hurts everywhere. It's been almost two weeks since anyone has worked on it, and it's ridiculously sore." I bite my lip to keep from crying again. I know that feeling all too well. I'm going to make this right. I feel terrible that he was so hesitant to talk to me. He was scared I would think he was weak, or that I would tell someone about his back. No wonder he was acting so weird. It took a lot of strength to come to me, and I can't let him down.

"I'm going to start ok? Please tell me if it hurts anywhere."

"Thank you Tris. I'm sorry to put all of this on you. I didn't mean to make you cry." My heart melts at his guilt.

"Don't you dare apologize. Thank you for trusting me, Four. I'm not crying because you freaked me out, ok?"

"Then why are you crying?"

I'm thrown off by this question. I can't bring myself to tell him how deeply I understand his pain. I am overwhelmed by guilt, but still taken over by fear. I answer slowly, with caution.

"Because no one deserves to go through the kind of pain that leaves scars like that. Especially not someone so kind and selfless. It breaks my heart."

He just looks at me, nodding slightly. He looks down into the face piece of the table, and adjusts his body, with his hands resting on the side pieces below. He takes a deep breath and I see the tension in his muscles release. I retrieve the warmed massage oil and carefully pour just the right amount over his back. I take a deep breath and begin.

I start at his lower back, gently spreading the oil down to his waist and slowly up to his neck. The way his skin bumps and dips around his scars springs more tears. My hands are covered in oil and he can't see my face, so I let the tears roll down my cheeks. I feel his muscles tighten under my fingertips, and I haven't even applied pressure yet. He back must be really aching. I can almost feel his pain, it is so familiar to me. I shiver at the thought. I know this might hurt him a little, but it will ultimately help. I gently begin to work through his tense muscles near his waist and I see his hand tighten into a fist. I freeze. God, I don't want to hurt him.

"I'm sorry. I don't know how to do this without it hurting at first. I don't know what to do." My voice quivers slightly, and the tears continue to roll. I swipe at my cheeks with my sleeve, but it doesn't help much.

"It's ok Tris, it's the only way to relieve the soreness. I know that. I'll forget about all the pain when I can relax at the end. I'm ok, I'll manage. Please Tris." His voice is slightly muffled by the face rest, but his words still make my heart throb.

I wish I could take away all of his pain. I know better than anyone that in order to do that, it's going to hurt first. I take a deep breath, will my hands to stop shaking, and continue as gently as I can. _He needs you. You can do this._

I ignore the tears, promising myself he can't see me. I gently press the heels of my hands into his lower back and begin working his muscles in slow circles. His back is extremely tense, and I hear him suck in a deep breath. It has clearly been several years since his scars have healed, but the muscles seem to be pretty damaged from so many years of beatings. Constant exercising has made it difficult for them to heal. It must have been brutal at practice to run and bench press and do everything else with a back as sore as this. This must have been a very painful two weeks for him.

The tears are flowing, and I can't stop them. It takes forever, but eventually I relieve the lower section of his back, and he sighs in relief as I run my hands over it again and again, before making my way to the next section. I see his hands tense again and his fingernails dig into his palm. It's a move I know too well. I take my hands off of him and run to my desk to get just what he needs, something I use every day. Stress balls. Mine are shaped like little Buddha's, I got them from my yoga studio. He begins to shift, noticing my absence.

"Tris? It's not that bad, I'm ok." I simply set my hand on his back to keep him laying down, and I gently press the ball into his calloused, warm hand. He chuckles and squeezes it firmly. I slide the second one into his other hand, and return my hands to his back.

I alternate between soothing over the parts of his back I have already relieved and taking on new territory. This seems to help him deal with the pain, but even this doesn't stop him from wincing when I reach his upper back. The sound it so soft, I have to bite my thumb to keep a sob from escaping my throat. I just can't stop crying for him. I want so badly to pause and tell him I'm sorry, and that its ok, but I don't trust my voice. It will surely reveal my tears. All I can do is put a gentle hand on his arm and let it rest there a minute before I continue. He winces again. I can feel his pain in my heart.

It comes as a great relief to both of us when I finally seem to reach the end of his tension. For the first time since he laid down on the table, he fully relaxes. After I work over his full back again, he groans in relief. My tears finally let up, but the choked feeling in my throat is stuck. He lays completely still as I go over his entire back and sides six more times. I am enjoying his relief almost as much as he is. I smile as I watch my stress balls tumble to the floor, landing in their little Buddha sitting position. I move to retrieve the muscle relief lotion, and I put a generous layer on his back. I smile when I realize it's vanilla scented, so Four is definitely going to smell like a girl all day. I wash my hands and splash my face, removing all evidence of tears. Much better. I go back to where he is still lying still, and I crouch down to look at his face. His eyes are closed and his breathing is even. Is he asleep? I clear my throat.

"Four?" My voice is still hoarse. His eyes open slowly.

"Wha- I'm up. Totally awake." He begins to shift, stretching out his hands and pushing himself up just a little, before flopping back down in defeat. He chuckles. "I'm stuck."

"Let me help you then." I gently secure my hands around his shoulder and pull him up. He groans and sits up slowly, stretching his arms high and twisting side to side. He smiles wide.

"Thank you so much Tris. I cannot even explain how much this means to me." His eyes are so kind, and deep blue, like the ocean. It's kind of ironic, because I don't know how to swim. I smile at him again, not trusting my voice.

I reach down and retrieve his shirt and my stress balls. I put them back in my bag and hand him his shirt. I clear my throat again.

"Sorry about the lotion, I forgot it was vanilla scented. Guess you're going to smell like a girl for a while." I tease lightly, my voice still a little rough around the edges. I don't think he notices.

"I totally love it. Vanilla is my new favorite. Thank you so much Tris." I smile and nod, relieved he isn't in any more pain. I glance at the clock and gasp.

"It's 6:00! How did that happen? I need to call Chris." I search through my bag for my phone quickly, and I dial Christina's number. She picks up on the first ring.

"Hey Chris, I'm sorry I didn't call earlier I didn't realize what time it was. I got stuck… in a meeting."

"It's ok Tris, I've been working overtime, the hospital had a new case come in I've been busy all day. I'll be home later. Do you want me to bring Chinese?"

"Yeah Chinese sounds great, I'll be home in like an hour. Bye Chris, I love you."

"Love you too Tris. Bye." She hangs up. Four is still sitting on the table, stretching his arms out.

"Do you need me to work on anything else?" He shakes his head and chuckles, jumping to his feet.

"Is Chris your boyfriend?" I burst out laughing and clutch my sides.

"No...her name is…Christina. She's my best friend… and my roommate!" I manage to say between laughs. His face floods with… relief? I must be imagining it.

"That hilarious, she totally sounded like your boyfriend. I'm sorry I kept you from your friend until 6:00, I never thought it would end up being so long."

"It's no problem Four. I'm really glad I was able to help. Thank you, for trusting me. It means more than you know." I look down, suddenly too nervous to meet his eyes, I feel like he can see right through me.

He breaks the moment, picking up his practice bag, and heading to the door.

"Are you heading out?" he asks.

"In a minute. I just have to grab my stuff." He smiles and waits by the door for me. I quickly grab my gym bag, and pick my notebook and sweatshirt up off the desk. I grab my keys and head towards the door. He opens it for me and waits for me to lock it.

"Such a gentleman." I tease gently.

"It's the least I can do." I roll my eyes.

"Seriously Four, it was no problem. You can come by anytime. I'm glad I could help you." He just nods.

We walk in a comfortable silence all the way to my car, and he's still there after I put my stuff in my trunk. The sun is setting and we are the last cars in the lot. The orange light casts a beautiful glow on his face, and his hair looks auburn. I find myself staring for a second, until he snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Thank you, Tris." His eyes are so sincere and he opens his arms, inviting me for a hug. I freeze at his gesture, unsure if I wanted to return it. The last time a man put his arms around me, he was in the process of throwing me down the stairs. I open my mouth to tell him I don't like hugs, but he has already put his arms down.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have done that." He looks down, guilt washing over his face. He turns to walk away and I do something I didn't think I was capable of.

"Four!"

He turns back, only to be surprised because I'm already there. I eagerly weave my arms under his and gently around his back. My head presses softly against his chest. He gasps, then he carefully returns the contact. When his arms come to rest around the small of my back, I am amazed by how perfectly they fit. Just as well as my head fits against his neck. He pulls me closer, and his chin rests on my head. All I can smell is vanilla, and it makes me smile harder. I nuzzle my head gently against his neck. We stand there for a long time, and it feels so _right._

For the first time in forever, I can't remember what being scared feels like. He holds me with so much care, I never want him to let go.

"It's ok Tris. I'm ok." I slowly let go, and he does the same. I feel cold as his hands leave me, and everything feels so new.

"Thank you, Tris." His eyes are my new favorite color.

"Thank you, Four." Somehow, even without knowing about my past, I feel like he understands how much his secret means to me. He smiles at me.

"Bye Tris. I'll see you tomorrow." He pauses, biting his lip. "Just for the record, I'm kinda glad that Chris isn't your boyfriend." He winks at me, and turns, heading for his car. Leaving me standing there, completely dumbfounded. How had I only known this man a day? I don't even know his name, but I'm pretty sure he took part of my heart with him as he turned towards his truck. And somehow, despite everything, I was perfectly ok with it.

Four, being the amazing person he is, is waiting for me to get in my car. To make sure I was safe. He sits there smugly, smiling at my mouth, which is still hanging open. I blink hard and return to reality. I get in my car and sit for a full minute with my palms at my cheeks, to relieve the burning sensation his comment was still causing. Once my heart rate slows, I put the car in gear and drive, making myself focus on the road. Once he knew I was safe, Four follows my lead, and we go our separate ways home.

As I pull up to my apartment building, I stay in the parked car. I still have no idea what to think about Four's comment. Was he really serious? Does he actually mean he would date me? Does he know what he was getting into? Do I really like him? I overthink myself into tears, the reality of letting someone in, finally catching up to me. I am filled with doubt, but it's clouded by something else. Excitement? Lust? Hope? I can't put my thoughts into words. All I know is that this amazing, kind, strong, beautiful man had done something to me, something I couldn't undo. And it didn't leave a scar, it left a feeling just as permanent. It terrified me, but maybe it was terrifying excitement.

What am I getting myself into?

 **-Laurel**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 **Disclaimer- I don't even own the laptop I'm typing on. Seriously.**

 **Rated T- (mentions of abuse and rape, strong language)**

 **I love your reviews so much I'm now constantly checking for more! Thank you for so much support, I will do my best not to disappoint. I'm like really sick this week so ya'll got lucky with three chapters in two days, but do not expect updates this often.**

 **(Tris POV, where we left off)**

It takes longer than I expected to tell Christina everything. I keep crying, and by the end I'm pretty sure I understand my feelings less than when we started. We make it through the Chinese food, followed by the better half of a gallon of ice cream.

"So he's amazing and sweet, and he would understand what you went through. Plus I'm pretty sure he likes you. I know it's only been like two years since Eric, but Four isn't Al. Maybe this is how it's supposed to be. You're supposed to meet Four, because he's the next step to healing. Maybe he's not too soon, maybe he's right on time." She stops to take another spoonful of ice cream.

"But what if he's just being nice. You haven't seen him, he's handsome and tall and muscular. How am I supposed to know if he has the patience for me or not? Maybe he just told me about everything because I was there. I don't think someone like him could actually notice someone like me. I mean, look at me." I can feel Eric's word creeping in again. _Pathetic, worthless, stupid…_

"That's bullshit Tris, and you know it!" I flinch at her volume. "I'm sorry Tris, I just hate to see you doubt yourself like this. Listen up, ok, I'm only going to say this once." I nod.

"From what you've told me about Four, he seems to be someone who could really get you and understand what you're going through, maybe even better than me. Or, he could be some guy fooling around who just needed some help. You're going to have to listen to your gut on this. Maybe you will be wrong, which sucks, but it doesn't mean the end. If this guy doesn't have the patience to be with you, then he's not worth it. But no matter what, I never want to see you compromising yourself for what this guy wants. If he doesn't want you _just the way that you are_ , then someone else will. If you start to question how safe you feel with him, or worry about how patient he is, then you need to stand up for yourself. It would break my heart if you let someone control again Tris." Her voice is softer now, her lip trembles a bit. I have only seen Chris cry once, when she first met me. "I love you so much, Tris. You are my person. My whole family. You have to promise me you are not going to be selfless here. You need to be yourself, because you are so perfect. Any man worthy of you will agree with me."

We are both sobbing at this point. It may seem stupid to be thinking this far ahead, but nothing like this has happened to me before. Ever. Eric was my first crush, first kiss, my first boyfriend. He was my first time, but that wasn't my choice. The first one to hit me, the first one to break my nose, my ribs, my skin…

Christina pulls me into a hug and whispers in my ear. "If he does anything to hurt you, I will kill him in his sleep. I would rot in prison for you." So sweet. I know she isn't joking.

"Thank you for being so amazing, Christina. You make one hell of a boyfriend." She laughs at this.

"Now go to bed, young lady! No more talking about boys tonight." I laugh and I help her clean up our living room.

"Goodnight Christina. I love you."

"Night Tris, Love you too." She pulls me in for one final hug, and we part ways to our separate bedrooms.

I take a quick shower and set my alarm for its normal time, I'm too tired to do yoga in the morning. I rifle through my newly washed clothes to select something different to wear tomorrow. I find a matching yoga outfit with a blue spattered paint pattern. The colors makes me think of Four. Even though my brain is spinning, my body is exhausted. I crawl into bed and find sleep fast.

 _I enter the locker room to find Four, Peter, and Eric talking and laughing like old friends. I turn to escape, but it's too late. Eric calls out my name. "Tris, come here I want to show them something." I freeze. "GET OVER HERE YOU STUPID BITCH!" I turn around and he's right there, pulling me to where Peter and Four sit on a bench. He shoves me forward and I fall hard at their feet, narrowly avoiding smashing my head on the bench. They just laugh. I don't recognize Four's eyes._

 _Eric pulls me to my feet, and I don't fight him. I know it's easier if I just go limp, he gets bored faster. He grabs the hem of my shirt, forcing it over my head. I go numb, it's all I can do. He tears off my bra and shoves me onto the ground again. I scramble to cover up, but it's useless. Peter grab my arms and holds them back, and Four gropes my chest. I scream and pull against Peter's grip, but it only results in a sharp kick to my side from Eric. Suddenly, I am being released and all of them begin to grab and hit and kick everywhere they can reach. The floor is cold against my bare skin and the last thing I feel is Four, grabbing my hair and slamming my head into the bench. Everything goes dark._

I wake up, tangled in my bed sheets and panic sets in. My arms are trapped down by the comforter and I can't slow down enough to untangle them. I struggle and pull against them, ending up on the floor. I finally manage to free myself, and I run to the other side of my room, ditching my sheets. I fight to breath and I wrap my arms around myself in a desperate attempt to calm down. My blood feels like ice, and the walls are closing in on me. I am trapped by nothing and everything all at once. I curl up in the fetal position, and somewhere in the back of my mind it's like I'm expecting to feel his kicks across my back. I feel like screaming, but I can't make a sound. Everything hurts.

It feels like hours later before I feel my heart start to beat again, though I know it was probably about ten minutes. I feel a wave of nausea and I make it to the bathroom just in time, vomiting into the toilet. I sit there for a long time before I'm sure I won't throw up again. I brush my teeth and sit in the center of my room, hoping the walls will stop closing in, but I can't shake the feeling. I open the door quietly and lay on my back in the living room, the most open space I can find in our apartment.

I wish Christina had woken up, then I feel guilty. She didn't need to help me with any more problems today, she had already spent her entire afternoon doing that. I finally catch my breath, and I want to go outside, but the darkness is scarier than the walls closing in on me. I wish I wasn't alone, but I'm too overcome by guilt to wake Christina. I look at the clock and my heart sinks. It's 1:22, and I have no hope of getting any sleep now. Where can I go? I think of all the pretty exercise equipment in the Dauntless weight room, but I know I can't go there. Definitely not at 1:30 in the morning.

I decide yoga is my best option, and I wearily begin stretching out in the living room.

…

After a solid two hours, I cannot think of a position I haven't already done three times. I know I can't stay in this room another minute. It's 3:30, and I know I can't last another three hours here. I sigh, and put on some sweats, deciding to come back to the apartment later to shower. It wasn't like I was ever going into that locker room again, much less showering there. I just grab my bag and my phone, leaving a quick note for Christina, then I sneak downstairs.

The cold Chicago night gives me a chill, and I don't stop shaking until I get in my car, turning the heater on. I pull out and drive carefully, in the direction of the Dauntless training facility. Even with almost no sleep, my nerves have me wide awake.

I arrive at the parking lot and realize how eerie this place is when it's empty. I grip my keys tightly and make my way to the weight room. The lights turn on as I walk down the hallway and I begin to regret my decision. This is seriously terrifying.

I force myself to continue, and I finally reach the weight room. The lights flicker on and I smile. All of this is mine. I decide to try my hand at the bench press. I rarely have the courage to do this since I lack upper arm strength, but what could go wrong? No one was going to make fun of me right now. I soon discover that the bar is just about all the weight I can take, but it's better than nothing.

I make my way around the room, trying everything foreign to me, and work up a sweat. I look at the clock and it reads 4:30. I still have another hour before I need to go home to take a shower, and it will be another 3 hours until anyone might come in this room. I am starting to overheat in this sweatshirt, so I do something bold. I just take it off.

Underneath, I just have a simple grey sports bra. I immediately feel better, and I leave the jacket on the bench press. The wall of mirrors is a bit intimidating, reflecting my tattoos and scars back at me. I force myself to ignore it. I continue my workout, going from the elliptical to the treadmill, and I decide to try my hand at pull ups even though I'm terrible at them. I'm on my third set when the door opens. I freeze, mid pull up, still in a sports bra and leggings, with my back to the door.

"Tris? Is that you? Wait wha-" _Four._

I scream sharply, and drop to the ground, covering myself with my hands. I turn around, and I know it's too late.

"Tris what? What… holy shit. Tris. Fuck. Oh my god. I had no idea. I'm so sorry." He stands in the doorway, earbuds around his neck. He breathes fast and his hands are stuck, hanging midair. My sobbing breaks the silence. _Not like this._

My hands move from my stomach to my face. I cover my eyes and cry, loud, ugly sobs escaping my throat. I'm lying on my back under the pullup bar, my second panic attack today beginning to take over.

 _Pathetic. Worthless. Mistake._

I see a shadow above me and I slowly lower my arms. Four has dropped all his stuff, and he stands there offering my jacket to me. I sit up shakily, tears streaming down my face. I carefully take the jacket from him and I struggle to put it over my head with shaky hands. He sits on the floor in front of me, and I am startled to see tears rolling off his cheeks. He lets out a shaky breath, hands on the back of his neck.

"I am so, so sorry Tris. I know you didn't want anyone to see that. I should have knocked, I saw the light on. God, I'm an idiot. If you want, I can just go, I'll never mention it again. Your secret is safe with me. I'm so sorry Tris, I don't know what to say." He wipes at his cheeks with his sleeves. I have a hard time remembering how to talk. His hands are shaking as hard as mine.

"It's not your fault. I should have kept my fucking shirt on. God, why… I can't… I can't breathe." The tears overtake me and Four looks helpless.

He wipes away his tears and surprises me for the second time this morning. He pushes himself up and stands, offering me his hand. I'm confused by his gesture for a moment, but he simply nods at me and I understand. He wants me to have control. He's offering his chest for me to cry on. My initial instinct is to run, literally run outside and go home and never come back. But when I look into his eyes, I can breathe again. His eyes scream fear, he's just as helpless as me. He is scared he hurt me.

I take a deep breath and realize how much I truly want to be held. It's like when I have a panic attack at night and I just want someone to be close to. I carefully reach out and grasp his warm, strong hand. He gently pulls me up. I stand for a moment, still clasping his hand, catching my breath.

I finally let go, and bury my head in his chest for the second time in 12 hours. My hands rest on his shoulders, and his arms gently close around me.

"It's ok Tris. I'm so sorry. You're safe with me, ok?" I nod into his chest, wrapping my arms around his lower back.

I never thought a hug could mean so much. It feels like the most intimate touch ever, yet I'm perfectly ok with it. His warmth soothes the panic coursing through my veins.

We stay like this for a long time, my tears wetting his shirt while he comforts me.

"It's ok. You're so strong Tris. I'm not going to hurt you. You're safe here." He keeps repeating words like this, slowly soothing my fears. His tender words are better mantras than any I've ever heard. I never want him to let go.

"Tris." It's just a whisper. "I think this makes us best friends now." I nod into his chest and let out a small laugh.

"I think you're right." I give him one last gentle squeeze and slowly pull away. He lets me go with a small sigh. I look up and see his eyes, full of kindness and patience. I smile widely at him and relief reaches every part of me. I am so full of emotion it's hard not to cry again, not from fear, from something else.

"Thank you. For not leaving. I don't know how, but I feel good right now." A tender smile plays on his lips.

"Me too. I'm sorry I found out this way. I can't imagine what I would have done in your shoes." He looks down.

"It's not your fault. It's not mine either." He nods. Four glances over my shoulder and his eyes widen.

"Shit, its 5:30! Do you need to shower in the locker room? I can guard the door if you want." I shake my head, shivering at the reminder of my nightmare.

"Thanks, but all my stuff is at home. I can still make it on time if I leave right now. Do you always come here so early?" He laughs and shakes his head.

"Even I'm not that crazy. I just couldn't sleep." He looks down. "What are you doing here? I saw your car in the lot, I thought maybe you lost your phone or something."

"I couldn't sleep either. I woke up at 1:30 and I've been here since 4. Fairly rough morning so far." His eyes widen.

"1:30! You should stay home. I can cover for you." I shake my head.

"I'd rather be here, its fine. I just can't stay cooped up in that apartment for too long." I shrug sheepishly.

"I know what you mean. You should probably get going then. I'll walk you out." I'm about to tell him not to, but he's already holding the door. I smile and grab my stuff.

He walks me all the way to the car. Every door we get to, he races ahead to hold it open for me, just to make me laugh. He's so sweet. When we get to my car, he walks with me all the way there.

"Do you have a pen and paper?" I nod and reach inside my bag. I find my notebook and pen and flip to the back cover, handing it to him.

"If you try to read this I will run you over." He rolls his eyes.

"Cause I want to read all your notes on the stupid shit I do?" I shrug innocently. "Or maybe I want to read all your love notes to Al and Peter!" I pretend to gag and burst out laughing.

"I am really quite infatuated with men who stare at my ass. It's my fetish." I am surprised by my own bold sarcasm. He bursts out laughing. I can't believe how easy it is to talk to him, even after everything that's happened this morning. Thank god it was him who walked in on me, it could have been anyone.

"I'll make sure I stare at your ass next time we talk then. For your sake." I laugh and my cheeks flush. That seems to happen a lot when I talk to him.

He closes my notebook and hands it back to me with the pen.

"Bye Tris. I'll see you soon."

"Bye Four." I want to say more, but if we start talking again I may never leave. He winks at me and I smile and start my car. Before I drive I read what he wrote in my notebook.

 _773-464-4646 ;)_

 _Never hesitate to call. I'm here for you. Stay strong Tris._

 _-4_

As I pull away, I notice he stays outside until I drive out of the lot. I pull out my phone to call Christina.

I have so much to tell her.

 **-Laurel**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 **Disclaimer- I own nothing.**

 **Rated T- mentions of abuse and rape, strong language**

 **All of your reviews and PMs make me so happy! I can't believe how much support I have gotten for this story. Thank you!**

 **I'm SO SORRY it took so long to update, I went out of town for a while and left my computer at home. I'm trying for weekly updates as much as possible.**

 **Also I rewrote this chapter 3 times before I decided I liked it. Like, rewrote the entire thing. Thanks for sticking with me. I posted a review with more explanation as soon as I got home, I didn't want to post an author's note as a chapter.**

 **(Tris's POV)**

It takes an entire hour before I can finally coax Christina into letting me hang up. The only time she let me put the phone down was when I was literally in the shower. She was leaving for work as I was coming home, and she threatened to make me stay home until I could convince her I was ok. Four discovering my scars was rough in person, and I can't imagine how bad it sounded over the phone. I understand why she was so concerned. She is just looking out for me. Christina's a good mom.

I put my phone in my bag and sigh, nervous to enter the locker room again, but the longer I avoid it, the harder it will be for me to go in later. I'm not only worried about Peter's tendency towards sexually harassing me, I am still living in the nightmare from this morning. _Weak._

I know the whole thing could never happen in real life, but the idea of Peter finding out my secret, Four hurting me and just being in the same room as Eric is all of my worst fears combined. I dig my nails into my palms, trying to get out of my own head. I can't afford to lose it again this morning.

I force myself to focus on the reasons I need to be in the locker room. I'm just playing a game with myself, trying to think my way out of anxiety, which doesn't usually work, but it's worth a shot.

I know Max will be here soon, and I have to look like I know what I'm doing, even though I'm delirious form sleep loss and emotional trauma. What if he fires me?

I need a better reason to convince myself to go into the locker room. Max probably wouldn't notice if I didn't show up at this point. It wasn't like I had anything to tell the team anyway. _Worthless. Waste of ti-_

Four! That's a perfect reason. Four will be in there. He will want to see me right? Make sure I got to work on time. I know he feels bad for walking in, but it wasn't his fault. I need to go in there so he thinks I'm okay, even if that isn't true.

I feel stupid having mental conversations like this, giving myself reasons to do tiny thing just so they won't scare me, but I don't know how else to get myself to do anything. If I didn't have arguments with my anxious mess of a brain, I would never go in a locker room again. I'd still be sitting in the hospital, stuck, with no reason to face my fears because it was so much nicer in a room with white walls and nothing to be afraid of. Christina was my first reason to do anything for myself.

I think Four counts as a good reason to be afraid too.

I run my hands through my still damp hair and let it drop against my back, the cool fabric making me shiver. I take a deep breath and compose myself, turning into fearless Tris, ready to sass Peter and gain the respect of the team.

The moist air in the locker room turns my stomach as it hits my face in the doorway. Ew. Why do boys have to make such a bad smell? The only time I think I've liked the smell of a man was yesterday, when I could smell nothing but vanilla lotion as I hugged Four in the parking lot as the sun set. And this morning, despite my tears, I vividly remember the smell of Four's shirt, lotion free. It was a dark, refreshing smell mixing between something sweet and something heavy and distinctly male. It's hard to put into words when all I can think of is the softness of his shirt against my cheek and the soothing warmth radiating from his chest. _Four._

I smile, thinking of this morning with him instead of the nightmare version of Four my restless brain made up. I take a final, determined step into the room and spot him immediately, dressed in his uniform laying back flat on the bench with his hands behind his head. I walk closer and see his eyes are closed, earbuds blaring as normal. I'm surprised he has any hearing left at all.

I want to wake him, but I don't want him to be startled and fall from his precarious position on the bench. I awkwardly stand next to his locker, hoping he gets up on his own. It takes me a second to remember I'm standing exactly where Eric was in my dream, and a shiver runs down my spine. The bench Four is sleeping on is the same one he bashed my head against in my nightmare. I can't forget the feeling of his hands on my naked chest, they felt exactly like Eric's.

I am pulled out of my overthinking by Four, who stirs slightly on the bench. He goes still again and I take a minute to just look at him.

Four's face is calm and relaxed, making him look younger and at ease. His hair flops back playfully, and I let myself wonder for just a second what it would feel like to run my fingers through it. It just looks so _soft._ His jawline is strong and his ears stick out ever so slightly, in an almost playful manner. Four's lips are parted slightly and I take in his thin upper lip and spare lower lip. My hand subconsciously goes to my cheek, meeting a warm blush spreading to my temples. God, this man is so beautiful.

I find myself staring much longer than I intended, and I force myself to look down. If I start thinking about his biceps, and chest, and _abs oh my god_ \- feel my heart flutter a bit and I have to take a deep breath.

Since when do I notice this stuff? Eric had abs. He had biceps too. Even in the very beginning of our relationship I never thought about him like this. I guess he was attractive by traditional standards, but he never had those unique little details that just captivated me like this. I'm definitely new to whatever this is. I'm in uncharted territory, out of my element. It's like I'm on the brink of an adventure. Something new.

I'm pulled from my thoughts by Zeke this time. He smiles at me from across the locker room and comes over, standing on the other side of Four.

"Wow. You're totally staring. Nice dude!" My jaw drops and I resist the urge to run away in shame. He caught me red handed. I sputter a response.

"What are you talking about I was j-just…d-daydreaming…you know. I'm tired." It's a lame excuse, made so much worse by stuttering. I try my best to keep my cool, but my blush tells my secret. I'm such a terrible liar.

"No, no it's cool. My best friend is pretty hot isn't he?" I am so mortified, I can't find a response. It takes everything in me to keep standing there, covering my cheeks with my palms in the most obvious way possible.

"You can chill out Tris, it's all good. Your secret is safe with me. Just do me a favor and buy him dinner before you jump his bones. You gotta treat him right." He winks at me, and I am more embarrassed than I thought possible. Zeke laughs, victorious. He totally called me out. At least no one around could hear him, or I would melt into the floor. Zeke studies Four's sleeping figure and grins evilly.

"You wanna help me wake him? I have a foolproof way known only as the 'Pedrad Wakeup'. Trust me, this is an important life skill I can teach you, but you must fully and blindly participate." He grins mischievously, challenging me.

"Will this result in injury, because I'm kind of being paid to _not_ get the team members killed." I smartly shoot back.

"Save all questions until the end of the lesson, missy. Now are you in, or do I need to get Uri to fill in for you? Pansycake!" I scoff, feigning hurt and surprise.

"Alright, I'm in, but if he gets hurt I'm telling him you made me do it." He shrugs.

"Fair enough, you don't want your lover to blame you for breaking his neck after all." I gasp and make a threatening fist. Most girls would probably sock Zeke in the arm at this moment, but I am not a fan of hitting people. Under any circumstance.

"Just tell me what to do, stupid." If it weren't for his music, Four would certainly be awake by now from all of this sibling-like bickering.

"Copy me, I will teach you the ancient art known as the Pedrad Wakeup. You have much to learn grasshopper." I roll my eyes and crouch to the floor by Four's feet, copying him.

Zeke proceeds to untie Four's right shoe and motions for me to do the same to his left. He then takes both laces and double knots them together. I raise my eyebrows at him and he just nods confidently like he knows he just blew my mind. I roll my eyes again and stand up with him. He motions for me to get the towel in Four's locker, which I hand to him.

I don't know why we are being quiet, considering Four is still listening to blaring music in his sleep and he seems perfectly peaceful. Then again, why does Zeke do anything? This is a timeless question that cannot be answered through logic or reason. Zeke motions for me to be quiet again, and he begins slowly and carefully pulling out Four's earbuds. He motions for me to step back, which I do quickly. He then smirks at me and drops the towel over Four's face, then he begins yelling directly in his ear.

"FOUR GET UP YOU'RE LATE FOR PRACTICE EVERYONE IS ON THE FIELD!"

With his head still under the towel, Four sits up fast and tries to stand, resulting in his body flipping under the bench onto his back, his feet still tied together. Zeke is kind of a genius.

I burst into laughter despite the obvious terror this has caused Four, and I kneel to help him take the towel off his head. Four is gasping for air and clutching his chest dramatically, causing me to erupt in a fit of giggles. He looks up at me and smiles, bursting into laughter at my expression and shaking his head. I look for Zeke to explain everything, but he has seemingly disappeared.

"Damnit, I'm gonna get Zeke back for this. I always fall for it." He continues catching his breath." Wow Tris, I feel so betrayed. I never would have guessed you could be so evil." I can't stop laughing, we both struggle to catch our breaths.

"I'm sorry, Zeke made me do it. I was trapped!" I put my hands up, faking innocence. He smiles wildly collapses onto his back on the floor again, defeated.

"That's what they all say. Do me a favor and untie me, will you?" He chuckles at me, I am once again laughing so hard I cannot breath. I move to his shoes and carefully untie the tight, complicated knot Zeke so lovingly put there. When he is free he sits up and ties his shoes, still shaking his head. I stand and offer my hand to pull him up.

"Good morning Four." He grins at me and takes it, his big, warm hand enveloping my small, cold one. When he is standing I could swear he is reluctant to let go, just for a second.

"It's certainly been an interesting day so far, hasn't it?" He sighs and meets my eyes, seriousness taking over the fun.

"Are you ok?" Three simple words with a complicated answer. His eyes are concerned, but kind.

"I'm definitely not mad. I'm not as scared as I thought I would be about you knowing, which almost scares me more." I pick my next words carefully, surprised by my own honesty. "I'm just beginning to trust you, but it's hard. I truly only trust one person in the whole world, and that's Christina. But give me some time and we'll see what happens." He nods, thinking carefully.

"I'll be right here. You have my trust, and you can take whatever time you need. I'm here for you." His eyes are sincere and calm in a way that makes me feel safe. If we weren't in the locker room, I would hug him, but if I do that now I would surely cry. I take a deep breath and relax.

"Thank you. For everything, Four. Just thanks for being so… so…" _Perfect._ I can't seem to say this out loud, so I give him a small smile and turn to go back to the front of the room. _Perfect. Just right. Everything I need. Four._

I smile to myself and watch over the team. I feel Four's eyes on me, but not in a staring way. It feels comfortable. It may have been a hellish day so far, but he keeps making it better.

Max finally arrives, more than fashionably late, as usual. He looks at me and simply mouths, 'You're in charge', and with that, he tells the team about important meetings he must attend all day, leaving me, _just me_ , in charge.

My first instinct is to follow him as he leaves and try to talk some sense into him, but the whole team is watching, so that certainly isn't an option. I look up to discover the entire team looking at me. _Fuck._

I look back and catch Four's eye. He nods at me and smiles, trying to instill some confidence in me. I only know of one way to handle this situation, a way I like to call 'What Would Christina Do'? It may be a little crazy, but it's worth a shot. I take a deep breath and channel my inner Christina.

"Ok listen up! We are starting in the weight room and every time I blow the whistle, you switch equipment. You guys have started to get lazy and stick to what you like to train on, and I want to change that so you can develop more muscles. Think we can handle that? Since you have all had more than enough time to get ready in here, if you are not in the weight room in under a minute, you are doing a lap. Everyone understand? Time starts now!" I turn and run in the direction of the weight room, surprised to have the rest of the team right on my heels. _Thank god!_

I make it to the door first, ushering in the team as they go. Naturally, Peter and Drew come well behind everyone, shuffling along. I sigh and roll my eyes.

"What, are you still waiting for your toenail polish to dry? Let's move along, girls!" Peter snorts and the timer goes off. I wait until they are inside before I make a note in my notebook to remember their laps.

"Have fun running." I smirk in victory.

Everyone seems to be moving, and I walk around for several minutes before I rotate them, putting them on the equipment they try the least, and making many corrections in form and posture. Four groans as I put him on the leg press and I can't help but smile.

The team moves along with surprising effort. Many of them are making huge improvements in areas they never would touch. The exceptions being of course Peter and Drew, who make me struggle through every step of the process, becoming more reluctant as the day wears on. But that's what I expected.

Eventually I decide to take practice outside. I choose a game to help them train for speed, something they struggle with that Max only glosses over. I make the bold decision of having them play good old capture the flag, dividing the team and the field in two. I make sure Peter and Drew spend their time watching the rest of the team have fun as they do laps the entire time. They earned it, after all.

It might seem stupid and untrained to have a professional sports team play capture the flag, but I see something developing that the Dauntless team seriously lacks. Teamwork. I watch Four take charge of one team and Uriah end up leading the other. They all take on new roles and work things out together. It's funny to watch their competitive streak mix with the team's overall playfulness and fun loving spirit. They end up both taking it super seriously and having tons of fun as rain begins to fall just as Four's team manages to capture Uriah's flag.

They begin to run and skid in the mud on purpose, quickly making a big ass mess of themselves. They run around throwing the football and I gasp as Uri comes after me, throwing me over his shoulder and bringing me on the field. I struggle and he plops me down right in the mud on my butt. I gasp and chase him around, trying to grab the football, but he was too tall for me. He passes it to Zeke, who throws it right passed me at Al.

The game morphs from capture the flag to 'Keep Away From Tris' also known as 'Damn She Is Short' to tag and doesn't end until everyone is freezing their asses off. Peter and Drew stopped sulking long enough to join in about five minutes before the team decided to go in.

Exhausted and laughing, the team files into the locker room to get cleaned up before lunch. I change into another yoga outfit in my bag, one of my favorite sets with a bright blue paint splatter design. I meet the team in the mess hall so I can finally have lunch with them for the first time. The team is loud and excited, and I finally feel like a part of it. I can't stop smiling and the happiness is contagious. I wish it was like this all of the time. I sit at a small table with Four, Zeke, and Uri.

"You did something awesome today. I've never seen a coach get the team this close before. You should be proud." Four says this with a big smile and I blush, as usual.

"Seriously Tris, I can't remember a time we had this much fun at practice, unless we were drunk or something." Zeke proclaims this loudly, putting his arm around Four and his brother. Their excitement makes me beam with joy. _This is why I came here. I belong with these people._

"I have an idea. It would be a really solid exercise that would cool us down and take the rest of practice, but it's kind of crazy." I bite my lip, smiling in excitement.

"I'm in." Four looks pleased with himself, like he somehow knew everything would work out perfectly.

"What if I taught a yoga class?" Zeke immediately bursts into laughter, but I was expecting that.

"Well if it's so stupid, prove that you can do it, Zeke. I bet you can't do as many yoga poses as me." He dramatically rolls his eyes.

"Ten bucks says I can." Boy is he in for a surprise. This is going to be fun.

"Deal. Prepare to lose, pansycake." We shake on it, sealing his fate. I get up to make an announcement to the team.

"When you finish lunch, make sure you are wearing something you can stretch in and meet me in my training room. I suggest you wears sweats instead of basketball shorts. We are doing something new, you guys are going to love it, I promise. Also you guys will get to see Zeke lose a bet." The team seems to approve of this announcement.

I make my way to the training room to set up. I decide to go all out and I set up every mat we have, putting up my own blue one at the front of the room. It should fit the team just fine, but I need to move some massage tables to the back of the room. I struggle to undo the brakes on the one farthest from the wall, and Four walks in, followed by Zeke. They immediately begin to help me, clearing the room. It is actually a pretty big room with everything in the back.

"Thanks guys. Hey Zeke, are you ready to lose? I have some tissues in my desk for when you cry. I'll go get them." I smile, satisfied by his angry expression. This is actually a pretty good idea on my part, challenging them into trying something new.

"You might want to get them out, but just for yourself, for when you lose." He obviously has no clue how good I am at this. He was about to get his ass kicked.

"Go pick mats, and someone take the mat in the front so I don't have to be right next to Peter, please." Four immediately plops down there and I smile to myself.

I gather my yoga gear and set up some peaceful music to play on my phone. I grab the diffuser off my desk and put it next to me, filling it with lavender and turning it on. Four immediately likes this and he lays back on his mat in relaxation. He must be almost as exhausted as I am today. The other teammates slowly filter in, and Peter and Drew enter last, filling empty mats in the back of the room.

"How many of you have done yoga before?" The room is quiet, no one raises their hand.

"Well, I know many of you will think this sounds stupid, but I think I will change your mind by the end of the day. I'm going to instruct a yoga class, and I believe it will help you all a lot, both with stress and the physical toll this job takes on your bodies. I know it sounds crazy, making a roomful of professional athletes spend more than an hour stretching, but I know better that anyone how much it actually will help you. If you don't like this idea, that's fine, but I am asking you to respect it." I'm met with a silent room.

"Also, Zeke bet me ten dollars that he can do more yoga poses than me, so you can all watch him lose miserably. Enjoy." This earns some laughs and Zeke flexes his muscles, showing off.

"Okay. To begin, sit on your mats like this…."

I teach the poses like a beginner's class, and it's just so much fun. We go through all the basic poses and it's so funny watching big, muscular men lose their balance trying to stand on one foot. Thirty minutes in, everyone is sweating except me. I'm just getting started. I walk around making corrections and giving encouragements, and I am so proud of how engaged the team is.

After about an hour has passed, I begin cooling down stretches and we go into the final relaxing part.

"When you come out of child's pose, I want you to lay flat on your back as relaxed as possible. Focus on your breath and I will come around and fix any places your muscles are not relaxed."

I turn of the lights and the clouded sunlight provides a dim glow throughout the room. I drop lavender essential oil on my fingertips and walk around to each mat, gently pushing and pulling until the team is completely peaceful, leaving oils behind to relax them.

As I make my way up to the front I go to adjust Four. Unsurprisingly, he holds his tension in his back. I kneel beside him and gently place my hands on his shoulders, pushing them up to release. I see the moment his stress releases on his face and he sighs softly, his eyelids fluttering. This alone was worth making the risky decision to teach this class.

I place a drop of essential oil on my finger tip and I gently touch his collarbone. _He looks so peaceful_. He breathes in deeply and sighs, and I find myself wanting to touch his cheek _._ I shake off the thought and return to the front of class, slowly taking everyone out of their meditative state.

As they begin to sit up, Four catches my eye. He mouth the words 'thank you' and I am beaming. I decide to have a little fun before I dismiss the team, it's still early after all.

"Now I would like Zeke to come up here and lose his bet in front of everyone. Zeke?" He rolls his eyes and hops up, moving his mat next to mine in front of everyone.

"You're going down, sister." I just shrug innocently.

I begin forming the hardest position I know- the Wounded Peacock. I start with a simple downward dog position and slowly put my feet up, and take it a step farther by lifting my left hand. I feel myself shake slightly, due to exhaustion, but I hold the pose long enough for Zeke to fall on his ass as he attempts to copy me. Yeah, that was easy.

I stand to collect my money and Uri and Four are dying of laughter. Four and I lock eyes and he smiles, nodding in approval.

What an amazing day.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 **Disclaimer- I own nothing but my ideas.**

 **I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW MUCH SUPPORT I HAVE GOTTEN FOR THIS STORY THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU GUYS!**

 **I'm currently a major part of tech producing a show that starts next week so I have been crazy busy but I promise I have not given up.**

 **Seriously, I'm a new writer and I wouldn't be able to do it without you! Keep posting reviews, I love every single one.**

 **I'm going to pick up from where I left off.**

 **(Tris POV)**

As the team filters out to go home, I am beaming.

Edward has his arm draped around Al's neck, and the whole team is chatting like old friends. I really did a good thing today, and I can't help but be proud of myself. This feeling is foreign to me.

I notice Four lingering, leaning against the wall. Zeke winks at him as he leaves with Uri, earning him a middle finger from Four. I chuckle at this and Four meets my eyes, then looks down. As I begin to roll up the mats, he joins me and we work in silence until the job is done. Not only are we both exhausted, the peaceful feeling of yoga mixed with essential oils lingering in the room creates a comfortable silence.

As I go to take the next mat, I am met with an empty floor and full shelves. Four is already almost done moving the massage tables back. He's so kind and helpful, without a second thought. It's a really nice contrast to his steely exterior. I put my yoga gear back in my bag and pull out my vanilla oil, getting ready to give him another massage.

"You really don't have to do this, it's late. If you want to just go home it's totally cool, I know you're exhausted." His eyes are sincere, and concerned. I shake my head.

"You didn't have to help me clean the room either, you know. I want to help you. Plus, it will be much easier since you just rocked a yoga class. Your muscles should be pretty relaxed already." He nods slowly, pulling of his shirt in one smooth movement. I look at the floor. He lays down and sighs.

"Thank you." His voice is muffled by the face piece of the massage table and I smile.

"It's no problem. Just try not to fall asleep or I'll tie your shoes to this table. Zeke has me hooked on pranks now." Four's back ripples with laughter.

I spread the oil across his back and I am relived to find he is in no pain this time. He has just a few small knots I work out easily, going over his entire back several times. I move up to his arms and take care of his tender shoulders. He stays quiet, except for the occasional sigh. I finish up much faster than yesterday, but I make sure I do a thorough job.

"How's that?" I place a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he sits up slowly, stretching and yawning. I yawn widely in return and he looks curious.

"You are a miracle worker. I don't know what I would do without you." He stands up and pulls his shirt back on and I try not to stare but fail miserably. I want to ask about his tattoo, but I doubt he would want to tell me, or he already would've explained it. He grabs his gym bag near the door and leans against the wall while I wipe down the table.

"I'll walk you out."

"Thanks, I just need to grab my stuff." I go to my desk to repack my bag. I make sure I have my keys, my wallet, my phone, my notebook- _Where's my notebook?_ I know I put it back on my desk, after we came in for yoga. I'm sure of it. I unpack my bag again, feeling the panic already rise inside of me. _Everything is in that notebook._ I double check my desk to find nothing.

"I can't find my notebook." Saying it out loud makes it worse, I feel my blood go cold.

"It's ok, I'm sure it's around here somewhere. I saw you with it when you left at lunch." His voice is calm and even, I try to match his tone.

"When I came here I definitely had it, I wrote a note in it before everyone else came in for yoga. This is bad." Bad doesn't begin to describe it.

He immediately sets down his stuff and comes over to the desk, looking under it. Together, we search the entire room. It's not a very cluttered space and within a few minutes, it's painfully obvious the journal is nowhere to be found. I try but fail to keep my breathing steady. _I can't break down in front of him again._

"It's going to be okay Tris. I'm sure we'll find it tomorrow. You'll make yourself crazy if you try to find it now. Go home, get some sleep and I'll help you in the morning. I'll even trick Zeke into searching with us." This makes me smile just a little.

His optimism makes me want to relax, but he doesn't know how much I have written in there. About him, and Eric, and all those stupid methods for dealing with my anxiety. It's not just a journal, it's basically a diary. If someone on the team were to find that, I don't know what I would do with myself.

 _If I can just make it to the car, I can go home and freak out. Leave now._

"You're probably right. Sorry I made you wait. Let's just go." _Just get to the car. He's going to think you're crazy if you start crying._

"Don't mention it. It'll turn up tomorrow. Today was so much fun. Max is going to be proud of you tomorrow." His change of subject can distract me until I get to the car. I focus on not walking too fast down the hallway. _Don't freak out don't freak out don't freak out-_

"Yeah, sure. I seriously doubt he will care. Hopefully he won't be mad at me for making the team do yoga." I realize I haven't really been thinking about how Max would take all of this. _Would he fire me?_

"No way, he'll be happy. Everyone got so much better at stuff today. Plus, yoga is kind of awesome. I don't know why I haven't joined a class before. I wish it wasn't considered a girly thing."

"If Uri can have a pink gym bag, you can do whatever you want."

"That reminds me, I'm supposed to get a manicure with him and Zeke later. I totally forgot!" He frowns, looking at his nails. I manage a chuckle at this, still freaking out on the inside. _What if someone is reading my notebook right now?_

"Can I steal your phone for a second? My number was in your notebook so now you can't text me." I smile and hand him my phone. He punches in his number and gives it back. I see he sent himself a text- _Hi, this is a cutie named Tris._ I blush and grin widely, forgetting about my notebook for just a second. Then I remember.

 _Get in the car. Don't cry in front of him. Again._

"Goodbye Four. Today was fun." I am still standing in front of my car next to him, both of us lingering. What are we waiting for?

"It was only fun because of you." He pauses, hesitating. His silly smile vanishes and he takes a step towards me, but not too close. I notice how long his eyelashes are.

"I'm so sorry I walked in on you this morning. I know that must have been traumatic, having your secrets suddenly ripped away from you. You deserve better than that. I'm here for you if you want to talk. Or just hang out. I hope you get some rest." His attitude has shifted to serious and calm, and I have to fight back tears. But not the bad kind of tears. I'm too full of emotion to hug him now, I will break down crying. Instead I look him in the eye and nod, not trusting my voice, but trying to show him how much his words mean.

"Thank you. I have to go." My voice is shaky and his eyes cloud with concern. I turn quickly and get in my car, shifting into drive and leaving without looking at his face.

I'm sure he was hurt by my reaction, but if I had stayed even another second he would have seen the tears currently rolling down my face. I drive until my eyes are blurry, then I pull over. I feel the emotion run over me, similar to when I woke up from my nightmare this morning. I'm not just crying over what he said to me, I'm crying out of fear of my missing notebook. It's an overwhelming, confusing, exhausted kind of crying. He knew something was wrong with me and his words got me so close to spilling everything I can't tell him. Today has been such a confusing day. _I need to go home._

When I finally calm down from the sheer emotional toll of everything, the sun is beginning to set. I get back on the road and drive anxiously. Walking to my apartment from the parking lot in the dark is one of the most terrifying things for me, after some guys harassed me there last year when I first got my car.

Three guys were sitting on the curb, drinking from tarnished flasks at around 11:30 at night. I had come home early from this party Christina had convinced me to attend and I was all alone. As I exited my car, they started shouting at me and catcalling. _"What's a pretty thing like you doing out at night?" "Nice ass, babe!" "How about you stay a while?"_ I was frozen with fear and considered driving back to the party, but they were walking to me and I had already put my keys in my purse. I fumbled for them, but next thing I know the guys were right in front of me. My instincts told me to run and I took off for the apartment building, but the tallest one grabbed my wrist and twisted, hard. _"Where do you think you're going bitch?"_ I pulled away desperately but he reached out and grabbed my breast, squeezing hard. I twisted around and pain shot up my wrist, but I still couldn't find my voice. I couldn't scream, or punch the guy in the nuts. I was stuck, frozen. Just like I had been when Eric laid his hands on me. I started to hyperventilate and the corners of my vision got fuzzy. _No, I can't pass out, not here… they would rape me if I passed out._ In a situation most women would be able to move right past these dicks, I was trapped. I was so close to losing it, I did the only thing I could do. I looked the guy holding me right in the eye and I said "Please. Please stop."By some miracle I had appealed to what little sense of compassion this guy had, and he finally let go, earning groans of protest from his drinking buddies. I held my purse and my wounded wrist against my chest and I ran, all the way up the stairs to my apartment. When I got there it took me five whole minutes to get in the door. I thought they were following me, and I couldn't calm down enough to get my damn key in the hole. I burst into my apartment and had a full panic attack against the door, before calling Christina who came home immediately. I had to go the hospital that night, not only for a sprained wrist, but for a mental breakdown.

Christina had always said that stuff like that wouldn't happen to me because I had already dealt with more of my share of shit with Eric. It was one of the few things she was wrong about.

As I pull into my apartment parking lot, I try to shake the feeling that someone would be there. This however, does not stop me from putting my keys between my fingers like some pathetic weapon before I leave my car. Christina suggested I get a knife, but it's not like I knew how to use one better than whomever could be waiting to attack me. I grit my teeth and open my door, my bag already in hand. I look around but see nothing but darkness, and I walk as quickly as I can to the door without looking crazy. I don't relax until I am in the apartment with the door locked behind me. Then I remember why I was stressed out in the first place. _My diary!_

Christina walks in and is immediately concerned, given the tear streaks dried on my face and the fact that I am frantically going through the contents of my overturned bag.

"Need a tampon or something?" I shake my head, not even offering her a smile. I rifle though every item again, no journal in sight. What I wouldn't give to see the stupid blue paisley printed cover of the damn thing. _Why would I keep my secrets in a place other people could read? Why am I so stupid?_

I've lost track of how many times I've cried so far today, and once again tears dot my sleeves as I wipe them away hastily. Christina immediately grabs me from behind, pulling me away from my stuff and into her lap on the floor. I turn and sob into her shoulder while she strokes my hair. It feels familiar and I slowly begin to calm down.

"I'm so tired of crying today." My voice is hoarse, and I see Will timidly peeking out from Christina's bedroom. "Will, you don't have to hide. Unless if you're naked, then please stay right there." Christina laughs hard at this, her collar bone vibrating against my forehead.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" Christina is basically my Mom, Sister, and Best Friend all rolled into one.

"I lost my notebook today. I'm sure I left it on my desk, but it wasn't there when I went to leave. Plus, after all the stuff that happened this morning, I'm just so exhausted." Christina sighs, rubbing circles into my back.

"Let's take this to my bed, I don't think my back is ready for this discussion to happen in my lap." I chuckle and she stands, helping me up.

Her bed is king sized and we find Will laying down over the covers. He smiles kindly at me and begins to move but I shake my head. He may be antisocial, but I trust him. Christina lays on the bed and I flop down in between them taking a deep breath.

I go through today's events in detail, just dumping out everything, the amazing, the funny, and the terrifying. Will sits quietly, listening intently and soaking it all in. Christina reacts verbally and talks through every topic with me, from Four walking in on me, to Zeke and I tying his shoes to the bench, to the yoga and the massage, all the way back to the missing notebook. She asks questions until I am too tired to talk anymore.

"You know you could have stayed home right? I have no objection to sitting all day on the couch with you eating ice cream." I smile and yawn at this proposal.

"I'm really glad I went today. I might just need to stay home tomorrow to make up for it."

"That sounds like a healthy plan, Tris. Let's get you to bed."

Without another word, they both get up and move under the covers, with me still tucked between them. I don't know what I did to deserve them, and I am so grateful they are both with me.

"Goodnight, I love you guys."

Will gently takes my hand and gives it a squeeze, before placing it against his chest. Christina wraps her arm behind my head.

"We love you too Tris."

On a day like today, I know these two are the only reason I'm still alive.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 **Sorry this took so long. I'm a hot mess. Minus the hotness.**

 **I'm seriously lucky you guys keep reading.**

 **Disclaimer- I didn't come up with the characters, just the plot and I have no clue if I still have to write a disclaimer for every chapter it's weird.**

 **(Tobias POV)**

I must've scared Tris off. She was in such a hurry to get out of here. Does she trust me? Does she think I'm going to tell anyone what I saw? She's protecting my secret, does she really think I wouldn't do the same? Maybe giving her my number was too suggestive. I already screwed this up.

I finally get in my truck once she is completely out of sight. My brain is restless, despite my body being perfectly relaxed. I drive home with the windows down, but nothing is distracting me from the guilt and doubt creeping in.

Of course she's afraid of me. Even if I didn't walk in on her this morning, I'm basically everything she doesn't need. She's nervous and I'm harsh. She's selfless and kind and my father spent the better half of my life proving I'm entirely the opposite. The only thing we have in common is scars. Right? I don't know. There's no way she thinks about me the way I think about her.

As I pull in to park outside of my apartment, I realize I really don't know much about her. I don't know a fraction of her story or her personality outside of work. But I want to. I really want to get to know her well. Tris seems worth that effort.

I take the stairs two at a time and don't slow down until I have crashed on my couch, determined to take a much needed nap. My mind, however, has other plans. I wonder what it would be like if she was here. Would she be playful with me, running around stealing my clothes and looking at my high school yearbook? Or maybe she would be tame, laying in my arms with her head against my chest while I stroked her hair. I can see her easily doing both of those things.

What am I doing?

I am falling for this girl, and falling hard. I only met her three days ago, what is wrong with me? To her, I'm the jerk who walked in on her shirtless and vulnerable. The guy who makes her work late because he's too chicken to let anyone in on his secret. I have to stop thinking about her before I mess everything up for both of us. I just like her because she's athletic, right? Nothing makes sense.

I groan loudly and roll off the couch to forage for food in the bare kitchen. This apartment just screams bachelor, not a throw pillow in sight. How depressing. Though honestly, I've never really noticed how empty this place is before. It's got beer, an exercise room, and a TV, what more could a guy want? Throw pillows are useless, anyways.

I settle for a can of ravioli and a cold bottle of beer. Nothing to complain about, I've suffered through worse meals before. When my food is ready, I bring everything to the couch, settling in to watch some old games I have taped.

…

The sound of my phone buzzing immediately triggers a sharp pain in my neck. I jolt awake, only to knock an empty beer bottle to the floor, the glass shattering in one loud bang. Not good. I vaguely register the coffee table and realize I managed to fall asleep on the couch last night. Fun.

I gingerly reach for my phone on the coffee table, careful not to roll off the couch onto the fresh pile of glass. It's Coach Max. Great.

Hello?

 _Four, wake up, you need to tell the team practice is cancelled._

What, why, what time is it?

 _5:30 dumbass, aren't you usually here by then?_

I just woke up man. Sorry. What's wrong?

 _I just got notified I'll be stuck in another stupid meeting today. As much fun as it was making Tris coach, I'm not going to make that poor girl do it again. Everyone can take the day off. Please tell the team for me, I really need to get going. Sorry to disturb your beauty sleep._

Ok, I'll let the team know. Have fun.

 _Shut up. See you tomorrow._

Yep, he hung up. Awesome. He's in a better mood than usual at least. It must be something good they keep meeting with him for. I send a text to the team's group chat and get an immediate response from Zeke who simply says: _YAAAASSSSSSSSS._

I roll my eyes and try to work out the kink in my neck from sleeping on the couch. My phone buzzes repeatedly, but I don't want to read the messages. I sigh and flop down on my uncomfortable couch arm and realize I forgot to tell the only person not in the chat- Tris.

I sit up again but hesitate to call her. I take a deep breath and clear my throat, trying to make my voice sound less dead and hungover. I dial her number and she picks up quickly. _Don't say something stupid, don't say something stupid, don't-_

Hi?

 _Who is this? I think you've got the wrong number._

It's me. I mean uhhh, no I have the right number… Oh duh you don't have my contact…. It's Tob- NO… UHHHhhh it's Four. Four. From work. Yeah. _Would it be rude to kill myself while on the phone with her?_

 _Oh hi Four! Are you ok? You kinda sound like you're having a stroke…_

Sorry, I think I'm still asleep. Coach Max just called, practice is cancelled. You may sleep in now, which is what I plan to do.

 _Sweet! Thanks for letting me know. I'm gonna go to sleep then… Goodnight?_

Goodnight Tris. Enjoy your rest.

 _Goodnight Four._

Though I want to jump out my living room window for sounding like an idiot and almost telling her my name, I can't help but smile. _Goodnight Four._ It was such a sweet thing to say.

I manage to get my lazy ass up to clean up the glass, and flop down into my actual bed, only to be met with a severe pain in my neck. Guess I won't be sleeping again this morning.

I hop in the shower and grab my bag, ready to go for a quick jog before I hit the Divergent gym as usual.

…

 **(Tris POV)**

I hang up and sigh, relocking the door and sitting on the couch to remove my shoes. Four has no clue I was in the elevator when he called. I got ready for nothing… _At least I won't have to face my stolen diary at work…yet._

Christina and Will are still sound asleep, so my only option is my room. When I go to my bed, however, I discover the sheets are in a large pile on the floor from my nightmare/panic attack yesterday morning. With all that's happened since then I literally forgot about the whole thing. My sheets don't seem appealing at the moment, bringing back memories of a few instances with Eric involving our bedsheets being used as restraints. With that thought in mind, I know my chances of sleeping have disappeared.

I sigh and go into the kitchen to grab a power bar and a water. Now that the sun's out, it seems to be a nice morning for a run. Sure beats the locker room. I put my shoes on for the second time this morning and inhale the power bar. I rush downstairs and greet the fresh morning light.

The air has a chill and it still damp with dew, causing me to shiver and run a bit faster than normal. I decide on a new route, instead of my usual block. I run fast and far and focus on dogs and babies I pass. I see fresh fields of flowers I've never noticed before and small antique shops next to corner markets. I probably run a solid hour before I realize I've been here before. It's the far side of town, but I would recognize this place anywhere- Dauntless Bar. My blood goes cold and I stop running, feeling my pulse in my head. I take in the block and on the left in the distance I can see the high rise apartment building where I used to live with Eric.

 _What have I done? If he sees me here, it's basically a death sentence. He can probably see me from his window._

Down the street from the bar I spot the Dauntless Gym, a popular boxing facility Eric goes to. _I am so fucked._

I look around, sure I was going to see Eric right there, looking the same as seven years ago, like nothing had changed at all. God, I wish I had put him in prison, but there's nothing I can do now. The statute of limitations is long gone, and I had been too scared to press charges a year ago. _So stupid._

I cross the street quickly, putting the hood up on my jacket just in case I run into him. I know if I go left, I'm dead meat, but if I go right I can cut through a park and go more directly home. The only problem is that going right means I have to pass the Dauntless Gym, where Eric could easily be.

I suck in a breath, look straight at the ground and make my way down the sidewalk. As I pass the glass doors of the gym, I can't help myself. I have to look in. I see a tall man near the front and gasp.

It's Four! What the hell is he doing here? I quickly scan the room and don't see any sign of Eric. I briskly open the door and slide in. Four doesn't look up, preoccupied with the bag in front of him. He slams a wrapped fist into it's sides again and again, making the chain rattle and the bag swing heavily. On the floor next to him lays a bag with split seams, sand leaking onto the floor around it. I grimace, and feel my heartrate speed up. This is what Four does in his free time? Just like Eric. Maybe I was wrong about him…

Just when I'm about to walk right out of the door, Four pauses to drink some water and nearly spits it everywhere when he sees me standing behind him.

"What the hell! I didn't think you came here Tris! Jesus, you scared the daylights out of me!" He puts the water down, smiling in disbelief, but I can't return the smile.

"Actually I was just on a run I thought I'd say hi, I saw you in the window. Anyways, I've got to get going..." He can hear my anxiety, and he takes a step closer. I take a step back.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out. It's self-defense training, I used to teach a class here for a while. You want to learn some moves?" He is slick with sweat, and I notice his knuckles bleeding a bit, even through the tape.

I'm really hesitant, but the look in his eyes makes it seem weird I'm questioning him at all. I decide to take a chance.

"Show me how to do that." I smile pointing at the broken bag on the floor.

"That takes time, though I don't doubt you could shred a bag with some training. Come here."

He stands with his feet apart and aims a swift punch at the bag, coming from the side. The bag swings heavily. He motions for me to try. I mimic his stance and channel all my energy into my fist, which connects with the bag in one soft bump. _Ouch._ I shake out my hand, blushing and embarrassed the bag didn't even move, yet my hand practically shattered.

"It's ok Tris that was good form. Let me tape your hand, it will hurt less. It takes practice." He smiles at me and grabs a white roll of athletic tape from his bag.

He gently takes my hand and I am embarrassed to look at him while he wraps it. His hands are warm and course, yet gentle. The simple movement seems strangely intimate. I try to distract myself as he moves to the other hand.

"So do you live around here?" It's an innocent question, but I'm terrified of the answer.

"Yeah, just a few blocks North of here in that high rise near Abnegation Park. I've lived here since collage. How about you?" I can hear my pulse. He must've lived in the same high rise as Eric. _What if he knows him?_ He finishes wrapping my first hand and moves to the second. I fight to keep my breathing even.

"I used to live near the park too! Now I live on the other side of town, closer to the Ferris Wheel. Have you been there before?"

"A couple of times. It's not really the best area." He's right. His fingers press gently near my wrist as he finishes, and I instinctively pull away, my heart pounding.

"Is that too tight?" He's eyes widen with concern.

"No it's fine, I'm just kind of jumpy." He smiles.

"I've noticed. How's that?" He motions to my hands which I squeeze and flex.

"Perfect."

Over the next hour, I learn a lot about both of us.

I learn that Four is a smart teacher, and he is extremely observant. He gets quiet, which is slightly unnerving, yet somehow reassuring. He doesn't get frustrated, and he always is coming up with new ideas and suggestions. Four's hands are always warm and gentle, even when he's catching me as I stumble a bit from a sloppy kick. By the third time, I don't get scared when he quickly grabs my waist and stops me from falling. He even makes me forget to check the room for Eric every five minutes.

I learn that I punch much harder when I imagine the bag is Eric. And I need to use my knees and forearms to really make the bag swing. I learn that I am a pretty good student. While making the bag swing is awesome, seeing Four crack a small smile as it moves is the best feeling in the world. I feel strong, even though I'm sweating hard and my knuckles are definitely starting to bruise. Four can feel it too.

I finally snap out of the lesson when I notice a fight beginning on the mats. Two large men punch and kick and yell, shoving each other, and I can't focus on anything else. I feel my blood go cold and my stomach turns as one begins to corner the other, blood streaming from his nose. I glance at Four for help and he shares a similar expression as me. We exchange a look and he just nods, gathering his stuff. The yelling has gotten louder and I quickly grab my phone and rush out the door, waiting for him outside. I try to focus on the cracks in the sidewalk as the violence causes Eric's harsh fists to resurface in my mind. Four rushes out and sits next to me on the sidewalk.

"You aren't a fan of fighting, are you?" He sits close and his calmness keeps my anxiety at bay.

"Not really." My voice is just a bit shaky, but around him I don't feel embarrassed about it.

"That's ok. I'm not a fan either. Just so you know, you could totally fight those dudes if you wanted to. With my superior training, you could kick their asses."

I burst out laughing, and he just nods his head, like I had somehow just won in a fight against those two. When I finish laughing, he's just staring at me in a knowing way.

"What?" We sit there on the sidewalk, laughing in our sweaty gym clothes, looking at each other with no words. After a couple of seconds he breaks the silence.

"So do you want to go home, get a shower, and maybe hang out later?" _Hang out? What does that mean? Like a date?_ He scratches the back of his neck and reties his shoelace, I still don't know how to respond. I want nothing more than to spend the day with him, but what does he want?

"What do you want to do?" He looks a little surprised at my response. Maybe he was expecting me to say no, or make up some excuse.

"I don't know, I'm honestly up for anything not exercise related." I smile.

"Me too." He looks at me curiously.

"There's a bunch of places we can go. Just down the street, there's the Dauntless Bar which is pretty cool, or we could go eat somewhere. If you're really feeling adventurous we could go to the Ferris Wheel or the park. It's up to you." He seems embarrassed, but hopeful. And pretty nervous.

"Definitely not the bar, I don't drink." _This is true, though it's low on the list of reasons I don't want to go to the Dauntless Bar._ "The Ferris Wheel is pretty awesome though, and I love eating. I'm up for whatever." I take a deep breath before continuing, "As long as it's with you." My cheeks heat up and I look away, fiddling with the tape around my knuckles.

"Sounds like a plan to me." He smiles and stands, offering his hand to me. I take it gingerly, my own hand looks about as beaten as his. "Come on, I'll drive you home." He keeps his hand intertwined with mine, and I have no objections. We walk towards his apartment to get his car, since he ran here.

I fight to keep a level head as we walk down the same sidewalk I had taken home from work so many times to my personal hell. I'm convinced Eric's just going to walk up and kill me. Four's warm palm is my only distraction, and I truly understand why people hold hands now.

He slides his finger across my palm and I forget how to walk for a second. My sleeves hide the goose bumps on my arms, but my blush is a dead giveaway. I feel his gaze on me like a warm glow. He rubs soft circles with his thumb on the back of my hand and I sigh. I begin to think that if Eric so much as looked at me right now, Four would kick his sorry ass. I really have nothing to fear with his hand on mine.

However, as we enter the parking lot I have to suppress a scream as I see Eric's red truck parked right next to Four's black one. _So fucked. He knows I'm here. He's going to find me._

I must've squeezed Four's hand or something, because he immediately picks up on my fear.

"What's wrong? Did I park that far over the line?" I can't return the smile he is giving me, I just shake my head and rush into the passenger side of his car. He seems confused by my unwarranted reaction, but is kind enough not to question me. He probably just thinks I'm crazy at this point. I don't blame him.

He hops into the car and starts driving fast enough. After a few minutes I break the silence to give his directions. I decide to explain myself, just enough that he won't think I'm totally insane.

"I'm sorry. You did nothing, I just get nervous easily. And about stupid things. Sorry I'm such a weirdo." He just shakes his head.

"I'm sure you have your reasons. There's no reason to be embarrassed. Just let me know if I can help you. It's just me here, Tris." He smiles sweetly, with a refreshing lack of sympathy.

"You're right. I have my reasons. Just thanks for being patient about them." He nods, and a more comfortable silence fills the truck, like the sunlight pouring in the windows. I don't feel embarrassed anymore, and I feel excitement slowly trickle in.

I unwrap my hands, revealing many colors of bruises blooming across my knuckles. It's strangely beautiful.

"Today was so much fun. I never thought self-defense was such a delicate skill." He grins at my commentary.

"It's a good mixture between brains and brawn, something you seem to be good at. I can't believe we ran into each other again. What are the odds?"

"Well, actually I've been stalking you for a few months, you just keep catching me this week. My skills are really slipping." He chuckles and rolls his eyes.

"Now you sound like Uri."

"We stalk you together, it's just a friendly hobby. Turn right up here."

He pulls into my parking lot and I spot Christina's car. Guess she's taking the night shift today.

"Thanks for the ride. This was really fun today."

"Do you still want to hang out later?"

"Of course!" It's a pretty enthusiastic response, but his smile reveals he's excited too.

"Can I pick you up at five?"

"Five sounds perfect." Our grins match. I open the car door and step out, slamming it behind me. I turn to wave and he rolls down the window.

"It's a date!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 **I can't believe this story has gotten so far, I'm so happy! You all have been so awesome and supportive and your reviews give me so much joy. Please keep reviewing I love hearing your thoughts. My updates should begin to be more regular now that school is done…**

 **Disclaimer- I own nothing**

 **Still rated T- (language and discussion of abuse in this chapter amongst other stuff.)**

 **This is a long one which is why it took forever, and I had to split the date into multiple chapters, which makes me sad, but I had to do it justice.**

 **(Tris POV)**

I cover my smile with my hand as I see Four drive away with a smirk.

I run up the stairs, two at a time and burst into the apartment to find Christina on the couch, snuggled in a grey blanket, nursing a huge mug of coffee. She must've slept in with Will this morning.

"What's wrong Tris? Did practice end early?" Christina sounds exhausted, she clearly just woke up. It's already 11:00, so she must have a long night shift ahead of her.

"It's a really long story… practice was cancelled this morning. I went for a run and ended up near the Dauntless Bar and the gym down the block. I freaked out. I thought for sure Eric was going to be there." Her eyes widen and she sets down the mug with a clang.

"OH MY GOD, TRIS, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HANDS? Did you run into Eric? Why didn't you call me? Are you ok oh my god Tris- "

"Christina, I'm fine! I didn't call you because it was like 7:00 in the morning and I didn't run into Eric, I ran into Four. He was in the gym, so I went in. And he taught me self-defense moves, apparently he used to train people there. That's why it looks like I just beat the crap out of somebody." I hold up my bruised knuckles.

"Why the hell was Four in Eric's gym?" She examines my hands curiously, still trying to process everything.

"He lives there, Christina. It's insane. He literally lives _in our old building_. Four offered to drive me home so we had to walk there to get his car and when we got there- I almost shit myself. His truck was parked _right next_ to Eric's." I release a nervous sigh and Christina's jaw goes slack.

"I was so scared, but I just sort of got in the car and Four didn't pressure me into explaining myself. He was so sweet, all morning." It takes Christina a minute to respond. She's as confused as I was.

"Tris. It's so dangerous for you to be over there. Please tell me you won't go to that side of town again, I don't know what I would do if you got hurt. It doesn't matter how sweet Four is, it's not worth risking your life to see him. Who knows what would happen if Eric found you." She looks at me with fear in her eyes, which is a startling expression to see on Christina's face. "Tris, he could kill you."

I burst into tears at her brutal honesty. She immediately pulls me into her arms on the sofa and my tears wet her shoulder. I know she's right. I have nightmares about it all the time. Eric has a gun in the safe in his bedroom, but it's not like he needs it to kill me. If Eric had seen me this morning, I wouldn't be standing here right now. No matter how much self-defense Four taught me.

"I'm sorry Tris, I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just scared. I can't lose you." I feel more tears surface.

"It's ok Christina, I'm scared too. But I'm not going anywhere." I hug her back tightly, letting the reality of what could have happened today wash over me.

Slowly, we release each other and I begin to calm down. I can't go back there again. _What if Four takes me near his apartment for our date?_

"There's more Christina." She dabs her eyes with the corner of the blanket and sighs.

"This morning was so fun, despite where we were." She smiles and leans back, ready to listen.

I tell Christina everything, from the way he wrapped my hands, to the way his car was spotless and smelled like a Christmas tree. I describe his understanding nature and the way he held my hand. Christina listens wholeheartedly, and it's one of the things I like best about her. She makes you feel like all your problems matter, and your feelings are valid, and she's always ready to talk some sense into you. She resembles a dog with its head cocked sideways, listening with her whole body.

"So then, as he was about to leave he said, 'It's a date', and I felt my cheeks get hot, but I couldn't stop smiling. He's so _amazing_ Christina. I don't know what to do with myself." I'm beaming again, like he just asked me out. Christina's eyes light up.

" My Trissy has a date with a hot football player!" She squeals. I roll my eyes, but my smile persists. She jumps up and races to her closet, on a mission. Her attitude can change on a dime.

"What are you doing?" She's ransacking her closet like she left a $100-dollar bill in her pocket. She throws a black bra over her shoulder and narrowly misses my face.

"I have to find something, go take a long shower and wash your hair. I'm gonna make you look so cute!" I groan, but it's clear I have already lost this argument.

Secretly, a small part of me is thrilled that Four will see me in something other than a ponytail and some kind of yoga outfit, but I'm still scared of what Christina will come up with. I would be lost without her though, considering my wardrobe consists of workout clothes and two pairs of jeans.

It's hard for me to be comfortable in most types of clothes. For a while after I escaped I only could wear the hospital scrubs and sweats because tight clothes hurt my broken and bruised skin. After a while, I was uncomfortable with anything that didn't fit me like a sack, and it took almost a year before Christina could convince me to wear leggings. I still get nervous about wearing anything too revealing, that kind of attention makes me so ashamed and nervous. I've never worn anything more racy than skinny jeans and a high-necked sweater. Eric still has a hold on how I feel about my body. I tell myself I'm just worried someone will see my scars, but I know it's more than that.

 _What if Four expects me to wear a dress? What if he sees me in regular clothes and is disappointed? It's not like I have anything to show off. He probably just takes pity on me. Who wouldn't?_

I grip the ledge of the tub and sit under the spray of the showerhead. When I sit here I can pretend it's just the water, that I'm not actually crying over wearing normal clothes. I really shouldn't be going on this date. _He's going to hate me when he realizes how pathetic I am. Why would he chose me?_

It's been almost exactly eight years since I've gone on a first date with someone. And that someone was Eric. He is the only person I've ever dated. Six years. It took me six years to escape him. _How pathetic._ I have no idea what to do on a first date. Do people kiss? Do they wait for the third date? When are you supposed to say goodnight? I love you? Four has no idea what he's getting himself into. _Maybe I should spare him the trouble and just cancel right now._

"Tris hurry up! I have something for you!" _Christina._ I can't let her down.

I stand up, still a bit shaky, and let the water run through my hair, rinsing out the conditioner. I feel the weight of my emotions as I attempt to breath, trying to explode out of my chest and crush in on my heart at the same time.

I step out and dry off, trying to ignore my body and my undoubtedly red, puffy eyes in the foggy mirror. I sigh and leave the room, walking to the kitchen in my towel. I take two spoons out of the drawer and put them in the freezer for later. I find Christina in her room, with a bright pink box in hand. _Uh oh._

"So, this was gonna be for your birthday, but this is more important." _Please don't be lingerie, please don't be lingerie, please,_ "So don't forget in a month when I don't have anything for you that I gave you this. Please try it on before you say no. For me." I suppress a sigh and take the box to my room. I sit on the edge of my bed and begin to inspect it, with my hopes low and nerves high.

The bright pink paper inside matches the box and I peel it back to reveal a tight, black, long-sleeved ribbed shirt that has a long torso with what appears to be a crotch attached to the bottom. I hesitantly pull out the next item, which appears to be some nude tights with the feet attached. _What the hell is she trying to get me to wear?_ I hold my breath a bit and pull back the final piece of pink tissue paper, revealing a long piece of flowery, soft fabric. It's a full-length skirt. I hold it up and examine the design. The background is a light grey, covered in a variety of blue flowers of every shade and size.

It's beautiful. And it will hide my scars. My breath catches and I feel my eyes tearing up. She has no idea what this means to me. Maybe I can feel normal for once.

I quickly wrap my towel around my hair and throw on some black underwear and a matching bra, a huge change from my normal sports bra. I take a deep breath and begin to struggle into the tights. The material is sheer, but it covers my scars from a distance. It takes several minutes, but with some leg pinching and fancy maneuvers, I manage to get them on. I move onto the shirt, which looks ridiculous without pants to over the bottom. It's like I'm wearing a long-sleeved swimsuit, and it is tight. I avoid the mirror again, refusing to consider my reflection until everything is on. I must give all of this a _real_ chance. I pull the long, flowy skirt out of the box and watch the fabric ripple in the air. It's a soft, relaxed material and I easily step into the skirt and fit it high on my small hips. Now, the moment of truth.

I look in the mirror and gasp. I look so different. The skirt gives me height, and emphasizes my hips. The material blooms with blue flowers, as if they were painted on to me with water colors. I spin and swish the skirt around my ankles and it's like I am looking at someone else. My tight-clad legs look foreign to me, slightly fake, but flawless. It's bizarre. My small breasts swell slightly against the high neckline of the shirt, giving me a softer appearance. It doesn't hurt that I'm wearing the push up bra Christina gave me last year. I still look petite, but more feminine than I thought possible. How the hell did Christina do this? I feel the ball of fear in my chest turn into excitement, and I race out of the room to Chris, feeling like a princess as my skirt swirls around me. For everyone else, this is just a cute outfit, but for me, this is _everything_.

Christina squeals as I race into her arms.

"Christina this is so amazing! Thank you!" She smiles widely and returns the embrace, picking me up and spinning around.

"You like it! Youlikeityoulikeityoulikeityou-" She squeals like a little girl, jumping around holding my hands.

"I love it! Now stop screaming and help me find shoes! We're doing this!" She is just as thrilled as I am.

As she runs off to get shoes, I go to the freezer and remove the spoons. It's an old trick I learned when I had to work in the bar after a beating. I close my eye and place the spoon over it to reduce the swelling, hissing from the cold. It may hurt for a minute, but it covers up the fact I've been crying for most of the last hour.

Christina works on me like an artist, racing around and creating a masterpiece with skill and inspiration. I no longer have any objections, and she slowly transforms me into a much softer, feminine version of myself. When she finishes, I stand in the mirror, determined not to cry over the fact that _I look beautiful._

My hair cascades over my back in loose blonde curls, full of shine and softness. My makeup is light, making my eyes look bigger and my thin lips stand out. I'm feel like the best version of myself, one I don't recognize because it has been so long since I have looked this way. I'm by no means fancy, clad in my trusty combat boots under the skirt, but I still feel like a princess. I never realized how much I missed dressing up.

I finally peel myself from the mirror at 4:55 when there is a firm knock on our door. On the way there, Christina stops me to spray some perfume on my wrists while brushing her teeth, getting ready for the night shift. I take a deep breath and open the door, full of excitement.

Four stands tall in the doorway, nervous, with his hands behind his back. His eyes light up when he sees me and I slowly take in the sight of him, all cleaned up.

He is wearing a black t-shirt with dark jeans and a leather jacket and _dear god_ he looks like a super model. _Holy shit. How is he always so hot?_

"You look so… _amazing_ , Tris. Just… _wow_." I can feel my heart swell in my chest. _Words. How do I use those again?_

He looks down, a bit timidly, and removes his hands from behind his back, revealing a beautiful bunch of light blue daisies that resemble the ones blooming across my skirt. _How did he do that?_

The flowers remind me briefly of a stunt Eric would pull. He would always bring me a big bouquet of red roses when it got bad, like somehow, I would be able to forgive him. And at the very beginning, I'm ashamed to admit that it worked once or twice. I must've stared at them too long, because Four starts to stammer.

"I'm sorry. I know, they are not- um- much, but- uh I just kinda hate roses, ya know?" I grin.

"Me too! No Four, they are just, perfect. Thank you." I gesture to the flowers on my skirt and he laughs, gently handing them to me.

Christina strides in, hairbrush in hand, with her tense eyes focused on Four.

"Tris, go put those in a vase, sweetie. Four and I are gonna have a little talk." Four gives me a panicked look and I put my hands up helplessly, it's not like I have the power to stop her. She grabs him by the arm and closes the door sharply.

The door muffles their conversation, but I wouldn't be surprised if Four walked back in here with tears in his eyes. Chris doesn't play around when it comes to defending me. And the fact that she doesn't know Four makes her worse than most overprotective dads with a daughter going on a first date.

It takes me a minute to find a vase, I've never really needed one before. I find a simple crystal one in the far back under the sink and fill it with water. I set the vase in the middle of the kitchen counter, so you can see the flowers from almost anywhere in the apartment. There's still no sign of Chris and Four, and I begin to wonder if he's still alive. I go to the peephole in the door to investigate, standing on my tiptoes.

Christina's back is facing me and Four has backed up to the wall. His expression resembles that of a toddler being chastised for accidentally repeating a curse word. I really feel for him; Christina's fury is not easy to endure. His eyebrows furrow together in concern and a frown tugs at his lips. I'm a little worried she's going to scare him away. I swallow a surge of guilt and walk over to the couch, crossing my legs and pulling on my knuckles in anxiety. _Four doesn't deserve this. I'm not worth this._

My thoughts are interrupted by the door as it swings open, Christina gliding in as Four follows sheepishly. Four gives me a small smile, but I'm too nervous to return it. Chris grabs my arm and drags me into her bedroom, leaving poor Four in the front room, awkwardly playing with the rug with the toe of his boot.

"Christina, please tell me you didn't say anything about Eric. I'm worried he's gonna get scared off." Chris just shakes her head.

"You have to promise me you aren't going to do anything you don't want to tonight. Promise me."

"Christina, he's not like that, he would never make me do something like that."

"Tris, I'm not talking about sex. I mean anything. If you don't want to kiss him, or hold his hand, or go somewhere, or if you feel scared or uncomfortable, you tell him so and you call me. Will is gonna be here, and he can come pick you up, no matter where you are. You must promise me you will trust your gut and call for help. No exceptions. I don't care how hot he is, you are more important than what he wants. Think about this Tris, really think before you promise me." Her eyes are scared, and her words are urgent. I let them sink in and respond slowly, but honestly.

"I'm ready Christina. I promise." She searches my eyes for evidence of a lie, before deeming my response satisfactory.

"I love you Tris. Have fun tonight." She pulls me into a bone crushing hug.

"I love you too. Thank you for everything, Christina." We hold each other for a minute, before Christina jumps away and goes through the door to the room Four is waiting in. He looks at me with a big smile, his eyes full of kindness.

"Have fun kids. If she's not home by 11:30, I'm tracking you down and killing you. Do not test me. Nice meeting you, Four." His face is noticeably pale when we exchange a worried look. He holds the door for me and waves to Christina as he closes it behind him.

"I'm so sorry she gave you such a hard time. She's really protective of me." He brushes my apology off.

"Tris, you're worth the lecture. You look so amazing, by the way. I still kinda can't believe you wanted to go out with me tonight. I'm so excited." I almost laugh at the idea that Chris put blush on me earlier, when I'm going to be permanently red in the cheeks from just being around Four. As we walk down the stairs, I notice he is careful to let me walk first.

"That's really sweet Four. You clean up pretty well yourself. So… where exactly are we going tonight?" _Please don't say near your apartment, pleasepleaseplea-_

"We can totally do something else if you want, but I was thinking we get dinner at this really good burger place called The Pit. It's like 10 minutes from here, but there's a decent chance we will see Zeke or Uri there because their mom owns the place. The burgers are so good though, it almost makes it worth it." I chuckle, imagining how irritating they could potentially be if they found us on a date. Four gets the door for me as we reach his truck, before walking over to his side and sliding in.

"That sounds great Four, I don't think I've been there before. Why do they call it The Pit?" He shifts smoothly into drive and backs out with precision. There is something undeniably sexy about a good driver. I fiddle with the straps on my purse, determined not to be caught staring.

"You'll see soon enough. I think you will like it. And then I thought we could go to the Ferris wheel, because I've never been before. After that, we can go on a little adventure in this park I discovered just North of there. I mean, if you want. Otherwise we can do anything you would rather do, I have no idea when you want to go home or anything. It's really up to you." I sigh in relief and grin, his nerves about tonight are rather endearing. _None of these things are near Eric's apartment._

"That sounds perfect Four. How have you never been on the Ferris wheel before? It's one of my favorite things to do in this city!" He bites his lip and glances at me.

"I don't know, I guess I just never got around to it." He glances at me again.

"This is going to be so fun. Thanks for this morning too, it was nice to learn self-defense from you. You are seriously a good teacher." He smiles and looks away shyly.

"Well, you were really fun to teach. Not bad for a stiff." He smirks, knowing how annoyed I was at Peter for calling me that.

"At least I'm not a pansycake." He gasps with mock hurt and his hand brushes mine.

We both feel the energy of the touch, and I suppress a gasp. He stops at a red light and we lock eyes, confirming the connection. I decide to make the first move, slipping my small, perpetually cold hand into his large, warm one. I give it a gentle squeeze and I hear him sigh, sending butterflies to my stomach.

My intense anxiety and doubts about tonight lift away, floating like the fog whipping around the truck as we drive downtown. I let out a soft sigh as he lifts my hand and places a kiss on my knuckles, still bruised from this morning's training. The atmosphere in the car is comfortable and warm, and I am so thankful I decided to go out with him tonight. Being with Four feels foreign, yet strangely familiar. Something about us just clicks, and I think he can feel it to.

Four pulls up to The Pit, and I'm a bit taken back by the exterior. The building is rather circular, and painted completely black, resembling a giant hockey puck. Four waits for me to get out of the car before offering his hand to me, which I take without hesitation. We walk in to the restaurant, greeted by the host, a woman covered in tattoos with long, thick, dreads. I give Four a skeptical look.

"Trust me. You are going to love the food." I chuckle and look away, only to catch him staring at me as we are walking to our booth, a blush creeping up his neck. I double check my teeth for lipstick.

The tables are black and red and the whole place looks like a big, circular bar for biker gangs. Towards the center of the restaurant there appears to be some sort of band on a lower level in the floor. I can see now why they call it The Pit.

We are seated on the far side of the circle, close to the wall. Various bike parts, patches, and leather jackets are displayed across the walls. I turn to see Four's reaction to the room, to find him staring at me again. Not in a gross way, like Al, but in a sweet, innocent curiosity. I decide to tease him a bit.

"What the heck are you looking at?" He blinks hard before shying away in embarrassment. He takes a minute before responding.

"Your hair is so beautiful. I never noticed how long it was before. And your eyes are so- you- just damn. Damn girl." I burst out laughing at this, the words he used are so out of character, yet so genuine. I can't stop smiling.

His comment leads us into a world of light hearted fun. We take turns creating detailed tragic backstories for all the crazy looking people that work here and we guess what's in a burger by it's weird made up name. We both laugh until our stomachs are sore and I notice that he drinks coke instead of beer. Is he not drinking for my sake? Did Christina say something? Either way, it makes me feel relieved.

It's amazing how little I have to worry about with him, a stark contrast to any "date" Eric would take me on. _This is so fun._

With Eric, I would have to watch everything I did. How much my food cost, what I wore, what I talked about, how many times I kissed him. I wasn't in control of anything, and no matter what I did, how well I performed, he would find a reason to beat the shit out of me later. That reality was almost the worst part.

When our food arrives, the waitress brings two huge hamburgers, mine covered in mac and cheese and Fours under a pile of bacon. Four laughs at my bewildered expression at the mountain of food in front of me.

"You've got this Tris! We're in this together now." I burst into giggles at his serious expression and he watches as I struggle to take a bite of the tall burger. The cheesy mess practically melts in my mouth and I sigh in satisfaction.

"This is the best burger I've ever had! How the heck do they make it taste like this?" Four smiles widely and pumps his fist in the air.

"Yes! I knew you'd like it! Hanna owns the restaurant and she's basically a gourmet chef. She's Zeke and Uri's mom and like a mother to me. Before we leave we will have to go say hi to her." I nod and continue downing the giant meal in front of me.

We fall into a comfortable silence as we eat and the band begins to play. The music is a bit different than I expected, instead of heavy metal The Pit is filled with older rock songs, some I even recognize from high school. Not that I listened to music a lot. We miraculously finish our huge meals and Four high fives me as I take the last bite. _He couldn't be more different than Eric._

Four spots something over my shoulder, behind the booth and his mouth drops open. I'm about to turn around to see what it is when he ducks down a bit and hides his face behind the menu. I almost panic, but I notice his shoulders shaking in laughter. I slump in my seat and try not to laugh.

"Shhhh. Trust me, you don't want him to see us."

Large footsteps come to a stop as they reach our booth, and I burst out laughing at the sight of Zeke standing there with a piece of chocolate cake in his hands with a massive smirk on his face. Four is still "hiding" under the menu, and Zeke plucks it from his hands, setting the cake on the table. I'm still giggling at Four's expression, but I lose my shit as Zeke sits right in Four's lap.

"Fancy seeing you here this evening, Tris. What is a lovely lady like yourself doing all alone on a Friday night?" Four dramatically gasps under Zeke, but Zeke has an iron grip on the table, so Four can't pry him off. He slumps back in defeat.

"You see, I was just waiting all by myself here for someone to bring me cake. It seems my prayers have been answered." Zeke winks at me and reaches for my hand as he continues.

"It's what I do, giiiiiirl. Now what do you say you and I get out of he- OOF!" Four has managed to shove Zeke out of the booth, and he narrowly avoids falling flat on his face to the floor. My body ripples with laughter and Four just shakes his head at Zeke. Zeke brushes himself off and dramatically addresses Four.

"So, dude, were you gonna tell me you were dating Tris, or just wait until you guys got married?" Four looks embarrassed, yet I don't think he is embarrassed of me.

"I was going to tell you tomorrow, after our date, to avoid your harassment, but it seems my plans were foiled. Who turned me in?" Zeke rolls his eyes.

"The hostess told Hanna the second you got here! I've just been spying on you so I could bring you cake. No harassment intended. Bye the way Tris, the only thing hotter than you is the speed at which you eat a burger. I'm impressed." I blush, despite the insane nature of his compliment, and Four nods in approval of Zeke's words. He grabs my hand across the table, squeezing gently.

"Yeah, she's pretty great. Now Zeke, if you don't mind, Tris and I would like to eat this cake in peace, as we try to forget the fact that you are spying on us, so please, for the love of god, go away. I promise I'll call you and tell you everything tomorrow." Zeke seems satisfied with this agreement.

"Fine, I'll leave you alone. Treat her right Four. Remember, I'm always watching." Zeke backs away, tripping over a chair leg immediately. He turns around and runs back to the kitchen, sending a wink my way. Four facepalms and I erupt into another fit of giggles.

"I'm soooo sorry about him. He is such a dumbass sometimes. But, he's basically family, so I can't kill him." He pauses, taking a more serious tone. "Just for the record, I wasn't embarrassed he would know I was dating you. I just was trying to keep him from doing something stupid, so naturally he did it anyway." He hands me one of the forks Zeke brought with the cake, and we dig in. It reminds me of the cake from the cafeteria at the training center. Yum.

"I get it Four. If I had a friend like him I wouldn't have said a word about dating someone. I'm surprised you had the guts to take me here, knowing he could be lurking in the corner." Four laughs and shakes his head, still in disbelief of the stupidity of his friend. He pulls his buzzing phone out of his pocket and bursts out laughing.

"Zeke has apparently been texting me this entire time. Oh my god this is so funny." He hands me his phone and I see a long stream of texts, starting from half an hour ago.

 _Tell her she looks pretty_

 _Tell her about what Uri did, it will make her laugh_

 _Kiss her_

 _Do it now_

 _I'll give you five bucks if you kiss her right now_

 _I'm bringing you cake loser_

 _If I was an assassin, you would be dead 20 min ago_

 _Compliment her shoes, chicks dig that stuff_

 _10 bucks says you won't kiss her_

There are so many more texts, but I hand the phone back because I'm almost crying with laughter. Four is shaking his head and points to the bar. I see Zeke sitting on a barstool, staring directly at us. Four flips him off across the restaurant, and Zeke blows him a kiss. I can barely breathe, I'm laughing so hard. Four rolls his eyes and turns back to me, taking another forkful of cake. He studies my face and his mouth stretches into a small smirk.

"You've got some frosting right there." I blush with embarrassment and grab my napkin, wiping my right cheek. He shakes his head and smiles.

He reaches out carefully with his thumb, and wipes gently just to the right of my lips. The air around us crackles with electricity.

"You have such cute dimples. I don't know how I never noticed them before." It's just a whisper.

His hand lingers and I sigh, closing my eyes in response to his tender touch. His fingers graze my jaw and he gently tucks a stray lock of hair behind my ear. _Is he about to kiss me? I'm not ready._ I feel my heart rate pick up and I take a deep breath. I open my eyes shyly and cover his hand with mine, bringing it down to the table. I look him in the eyes and he nods in understanding. I carefully explain myself.

"I think… if I was a normal person, I would've kissed you right then." He gives me a tiny grin.

"Normal is overrated."

 **Sorry, I really wanted to do the whole date in one chapter, but it would just be way too long. This is already my longest chapter so far. (5,634 words!) Hope you enjoyed, more Fourtris to come soon. Yes, eventually they will kiss. Be patient.**

 **-Laurel**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 **Your reviews are all so sweet, they really make writing this worth it! I hope you enjoy this next chapter, I rewrote parts of it several times…kind of why it took so long.**

 **Also this chapter is hella long at around 8,000 words which is way longer than I meant to do but hopefully does this scene justice. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer- I own nothing and I did use a few lines from the book here to stay less OOC for this part, you will probably recognize them.**

 **Rated T- mentions of abuse in this chapter and language**

 **(Tris POV)**

" _Normal is overrated."_

I bite my lip, trying to conceal my smile. My blush, however, gives away how perfect Four is to me. He gives my hand a gentle squeeze, interrupted as the waitress brings our bill in a small leather book.

I'm reaching for my purse to pay for dinner, when Four just laughs and snatches the book off the table.

"No way I'm letting you do that, nice try Tris." I open my mouth to protest, but he's already closed the book with his card inside as I still hold my purse, slightly confused. He has a satisfied smirk.

I'm used to being paid for by Eric, because he kept my money. It was just another way he controlled me. I was under the impression that couples normally split the bill.

"I can pay for my part." Four just shakes his head, surprised I offered.

Our brief conversation is interrupted by a bright flash from the table to our right. I flinch, but Four just awkwardly smiles in their direction. I spot a teenage girl in a crop top, taking pictures of Four from the other table. I forgot how famous Four is outside of practice.

After a few more pictures, she just turns back to her food without a word. _How rude._ Four notices the perplexed way I'm looking at the girl with the camera and chuckles. He leans in and speaks softly.

"Sorry about that. It's super annoying, I know, but if I was rude to her then I would be like Peter, and I'm a strong believer that he is an asshole." He whispers.

"Peter probably would have tried to sleep with her." I say. Four grimaces, shaking his head.

"Let's not talk about that, this is a happy place. Speaking of which, where to next?" The waitress drops off the bill and Four retrieves his card, leaving a nice tip.

"The Ferris Wheel is one of my absolute favorite things in the city. Are you still up for that?" Fours eyes cloud with… fear? It's only there for an instant, as soon as I think I see it, it vanishes. He gives me a small smile.

"That sounds great." He says. Four sets his napkin on the table and gets up, offering me his hand. As we head towards the door, he stops near the hostess booth.

"Do you mind if I say hi to Hannah? You can come, if you want." He asks.

"Sure, I'd love to meet the woman responsible for the Pedrad boys. I have some questions." Four chuckles.

"Trust me, they are nothing like their mother." Four leads me into the kitchen, which is full of warm smells and silver appliances.

We round the corner to find Zeke talking to a tall tattooed woman, maybe in her forties. She shares Zeke's dark mocha skin and kind eyes, and her long curly black hair is pulled into a neat bun. Hannah's face lights up when she spots Four. She immediately pushes past Zeke and pulls Four's bulky frame into her arms. He returns the hug and Zeke smiles at me.

"There's my favorite son! It's been too long!" Hannah says. Zeke dramatically grasps his chest.

"Mom, I'm right here!" Zeke exclaims. She ignores him, still fawning over Four. Zeke just rolls his eyes and walks over to me. Zeke leans over, whispering to me.

"Four has never taken anyone to meet Hannah. You're special. Look out, if you're not careful, she'll adopt you." Zeke says. I blush, and Hannah notices me over Four's shoulder.

"Tobias, honey, what are you doing here?" She asks. _Tobias? Is that his real name?_ Zeke doesn't react to the name, he must already know. Tobias looks at me with a smile. _Tobias, Tobias, Tobias… I love his name._

"Hannah, I'd like you to meet Tris. We're actually -uh- on our first… date." He says. Tobias sheepishly scratches the back of his neck, looking carefully at Hannah's reaction. _It feels like I'm meeting his mom._

Hannah steps towards me, taking in my appearance. I smile uncertainly, and she wraps me in a bear hug. I almost step back in surprise, but her hug reminds me of my mother. I slowly wrap my arms around her. She smells like coconut oil.

"You take care of him sweetheart. He could really use some love." She whispers. I smile over Hannah's shoulder at Four- no, Tobias, who stands behind Hannah, his posture tall and proud. He winks at me, beaming. Hannah pulls away from the hug and Tobias wraps an arm around her shoulders.

"She's very beautiful, Tobias. You kids have fun on your date. It was nice to meet you, Tris. I hope I see you again soon." She gives Tobias one last hug, sending us on our way. I give her a small wave.

"Nice to meet you, Hannah. The food is so amazing here, that was the best burger of my life!" She grins widely and Tobias takes my hand, walking me out of the kitchen.

A second hand slips into my empty one, and I gasp, turning to see Zeke walking on my other side, like everything was normal.

"Zeke!" Tobias sees Zeke's hand in mine and whacks Zeke on the back of the head. Zeke bursts out laughing and stops near the hostess station as we walk out.

"Use protection, kids!" Tobias flips him off for the second time tonight, still laughing with me as we get into his truck again. When the laughter dies down, Tobias is looking at me, carefully, studying my expression.

"Tobias. It's a beautiful name. I won't tell anyone." I say. I see something new in his eyes. Is it relief? Trust? His eyes soften and I realize how close our faces are. My hand rests on his shoulder as he places his lips gently against my temple. I close my eyes and sigh, leaning back into my seat.

"You can use it when we're alone. It's nice to hear my name again." He says sweetly.

"Are you flirting with me, _Tobias_?" I raise my brows.

"It took you long enough to notice." I burst into giggles, unable to keep a straight face. Tobias looks pleased with himself, and he shifts into drive. The Navy Pier is only about ten minutes from here, so we will be there soon.

"I feel like I just met your parents. Hannah is so sweet." He gives me a serious look.

"In a way… you did. Hannah was- well, she kind of took me in when I was a kid. We lived across the street from Hannah, Uri, and Zeke. My mom… she died when I was six." He pauses, still looking straight ahead, not wanting to see my reaction.

"I had no idea. I'm so sorry, Tobias. That's awful." I reach for his hand which rests on the center counsel, giving it a gentle squeeze. He weakly returns it. He opens his mouth, and closes it again, as if what he was going to say disappeared.

The silence sits in the car like a fog, covering everything. I don't know how to react to his secret. I have a healthy, loving family- even if they are in Uganda. I want to understand his pain, but I can't. All I can do is be there for him, and listen. We pull into a parking spot near the pier and he turns to me.

"I'm sorry Tris, I didn't mean for that to get so serious." I shake my head, placing a gentle hand on his chest.

"No, it's fine Tobias. Don't apologize. I want to know that stuff. Even if it's not fun to talk about. I want to know everything about you. You know- when you're ready to tell me." He gives me a small but genuine smile, placing his hand over mine against his chest.

"Thank you, Tris. The same goes for you… I mean, I want to hear everything. Eventually." He says. I look down, afraid he will see the uncertainty in my eyes. He has no idea how much baggage I carry from Eric. _Even Christina doesn't know everything._

He looks out the window behind me and his eyes widen. I turn and see the Ferris Wheel, towering over the pier. Its white metal spokes resemble a giant bike tire, resting unnaturally between much shorter roof tops across the pier. I feel excitement course through me, and I eagerly exit the truck.

Tobias is a few seconds behind me, and he wraps his arm around my shoulders as we walk together down the pier.

Eric used to do this, and I hated it with a passion, as his arm and fingers would dig into fresh cuts and bruises across my upper back. Doing this in public gave him control over me. I would have to fight to keep from screaming out in pain.

I'm about to pull away from Tobias, but he leans down and kisses my head and the fear passes. I feel like a different person with him. His calm temper and gentle touch are gradually earning my trust, melting away the fear and apprehension I've become accustomed to. Even though I've known him for less than a week, somehow, we share something that connects us deeper than time. I just don't know what that something is.

I read his face as he walks towards the wheel. He seems worried, and I have no idea why. I slide my left arm around his lower back, under his leather jacket. I blush as I feel his muscular back through his shirt. We walk with our sides touching.

The sun is low in the sky, not quite setting yet, but the pier is cast in orange light, reminding me of that day when Tobias hugged me for the first time in the parking lot. The breeze off the water is cool as we walk past a small park full of trees. There are boats tied along the pier, and they bob and dip with the waves. We continue past a long glass building, and I catch our reflection as we walk past the reflective panes. I see Tobias looking down at me in the reflection. I look up at him, and he chuckles.

"What are you looking at, mister?" I tease. He smirks.

"Your face is so cute when you're concentrating. It's incredibly distracting." He says. I giggle as my cheeks go hot.

"You're ridiculous." I say.

"I know." He smirks. I roll my eyes.

"Sometimes you remind me of Zeke." I tease. Tobias gasps and removes his arm from my shoulder, and I drop mine from his back. The absence of his touch feels cold. He pouts.

"You have hurt me. Never will I love again." He whines. He stops on the sidewalk, with his arms crossed. I am cracking up, and I grab his arm, trying to make him move.

"Now you are really acting like Zeke." I say. This makes him laugh and he starts walking as I hold his arm. My skirt ripples in the wind.

This lighthearted teasing and casual touching feels so _right._

We pass a carousel and step into line for the Ferris Wheel. I look at it and my jaw drops. It towers over the rest of the pier. I see Tobias playing with the toe of his shoe on the concrete.

"It's amazing, Tobias." He nods, looking at it briefly before looking at the ground again. _Did I do something wrong?_

"Are you ok?" He looks up, but his eyes don't match his smile.

Before he can reply, the attendant directs us to the next cart.

It's small, with two red benches facing each other with a rail in between them. We duck and slide into opposite benches, facing each other. Tobias is so tall his knees reach the dividing rail. Shiny red metal makes up the floor and ceiling, while the walls are mostly glass.

The door shuts with a clang, causing Tobias to flinch. The attendant locks us in and the cart begins to move with a slight jerk. Tobias grips the bottom of the seat with his back against the wall, his knuckles going white. His face is expressionless.

"Are you okay?" He's examining his shoe again. Our cart climbs gradually, stopping every few feet for the next group to board.

He nods stiffly. I reach out, offering my hand, but he doesn't move, still gripping the bench. _Did I piss him off?_ His jaw is tense.

A minute passes in silence. I see the glass building below us now, it's windows reflecting blinding light across the roof. The carousel looks like a spinning top from here. My jaw is dropped, my face close to the glass in awe. We aren't even halfway up yet. Tobias breathes heavily, loud and fast. I'm familiar with that feeling. He breaks the silence.

"Are you human, Tris? Being up this high…" He glances out the window before quickly looking down again. "It doesn't scare you at all?" I shake my head.

"You're afraid of heights." He finally meets my eyes and I see fear in them.

"Everyone's afraid of something. I'm a bit claustrophobic too." He says sheepishly. _This is a small cart._

"I never thought you were afraid of anything." I admit. His back is pressed against the wall. _He got on this cart for me._ "Why did you let me talk you into this? You could have told me."

"I ignore my fear. When I make decisions, I pretend it doesn't exist." He says, his voice strained.

I understand what he means. Sometimes I'm so tired of Eric's control on me, I pretend nothing gets to me. But it always does. _In a way, getting myself to go on this date was like Tobias getting in this cart with me._ I swallow my guilt. I've been staring at him for too long.

"What?" His face is pale, we are nearing the top.

"Nothing." I hate seeing him scared like this. _It's my fault. I'm the one who wanted to go on this stupid wheel._

I make a bold decision.

I carefully duck under the bar separating the two benches and sit next to him. There is barely enough room for me on his bench and my side touches his arm. He doesn't move, and when I try to put my arm around him he flinches. My heart aches for him. The cart sways slightly in the wind, yet we still haven't reached the top. He grimaces like he's in pain, groaning softly. _I know this feeling. What should I do for him?_

 _What he would do for me._

"Hey." I whisper. "It's okay. Here-"

I carefully pry his fingers from the bench. _Now he's the one with cold hands._ I wrap his hands around my body so he has more space. He leans on me hesitantly. His body is warm, but firm. Nothing yields beneath my touch. My cheeks go hot. _Can he tell I'm still built like a child?_

"This is the first time I'm happy I'm so small." I laugh. If I joke, maybe I can calm him down. And distract myself.

"Mmmhmm." His voice sounds strained.

When I'm having a panic attack, I dread nothing more than someone touching me. But sometimes, if they do it right, holding me can pull me out of my state. Like the time Tobias held me in the weight room after he discovered my scars.

The desperate way Tobias grips my side makes me think I can help him. I carefully slide onto his lap sideways, with my back to the glass on his left. I try to ignore the feeling of his firm thighs under mine. _Now I can't breathe either._

"Ah." His voice is raspy. "This is worse. This is definitely worse."

"Shh. Arms around me. It's okay Tobias." I whisper.

He carefully wraps his arms around my torso. His hands are so large they almost cover my stomach and the small of my back. I rest my head in his neck and place my hands against his chest. He buries his face in my hair as we reach the top of the Ferris Wheel.

If anyone is looking in our cart right now, they would just see a cheesy, affectionate couple enjoying the sights of Chicago. But in this moment, Tobias and I are so much more than that. We are taking sledgehammers, breaking down each other's walls and embracing the people behind them. It's terrifying and exhilarating all at once.

The Chicago skyline is breathtaking, but it pales in comparison to the feeling of his beating heart against my hand.

I look up, meeting his gaze. We share a breath.

"Tobias, look."

He looks out the window briefly, before shuddering. He buries his head in my hair once again and I laugh.

"I'd prefer the postcard." His voice is more relaxed, but his grip is still firm. I chuckle.

"You know, most boys would enjoy being trapped in close quarters with a girl." I roll my eyes.

"Not claustrophobic people, Tris!" He sounds desperate now.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Here." I say. I take the hand that was resting on my stomach and place it over my heart.

"Feel my heartbeat. Relax." I tell him.

"It's fast." He says. _He's right._

"Well that has nothing to do with the wheel." As soon as I say it I want to take it back. My cheeks go hot. _I just admitted to something._

"Why is your heart racing, Tris?" He smirks, suddenly flirtatious. He must be feeling better. I give the most innocent response possible.

"Well, maybe because I barely know you, Tobias, and I'm pressed up against you in a tiny cart." I say. He rolls his eyes.

"Tris, you are a terrible liar." Now I'm the one burying my head in him. His shirt is soft on my cheek.

We are nearing the base of the wheel, only a few carts left and we will be getting out. Our faces are so close, I only need to move an inch. I place a gentle kiss on his cheek. He sighs deeply and slowly drops his arms from around me. I slide forward off his lap and sit next to him. He puts his arm up on the bench and I lean into him. He rubs lazy circles on my shoulder.

"We got through it Tobias." He smiles at me.

"You got me through it." I shrug.

"It's easy to do when they aren't my fears." He nods slowly. Our cart reaches the bottom and we awkwardly shuffle and duck out. When Tobias gets to the ground, I half expect him to lay down and kiss it.

"What a relaxing, calm ride that was. Want to go again?" He says. I snort in laughter as he smirks.

"I was thinking after this we could cliff diving. If you're up for it." I shoot back. He chuckles, then looks at me with guilt in his eyes.

"Tris, I'm sorry I freaked out on you. It's my fault. I shouldn't have gone on that thing." He says sheepishly. I nod in understanding. He continues, smiling.

"I blame it on you, you know. A guy shouldn't be expected to make rational decisions around a woman as beautiful as you." He says. I shake my head, laughing.

"I'm definitely not beautiful, but that was cute." I say. He scoffs.

"It's totally your fault. On the way back you need to put your head in a paper bag. I don't want to get an accident." He teases. I roll my eyes.

We walk hand in hand along the pier as the light fades. It's a brilliant orange as the sun gets low. A few people sit along the edge of the pier, and we follow suit, our legs dangling a few feet above the calm water. My long skirt flutters in the wind.

I can feel a change between us since getting on the Ferris Wheel. He was incredibly vulnerable, and I took a brave physical step. It feels like all those barriers I had about intimacy turn to paper in his hands. We are both staring to trust each other. _It's terrifying._

I can touch him without the bad part. The overthinking, the self-doubt. I don't need to protect myself around him. He just showed me how similar we are, even if we have fears for different reasons. _Or maybe the same reasons. How did he get those scars?_

"You know, if I was a normal person, I would have kissed you on that Ferris Wheel." He says. I blush crimson.

"Normal is overrated." I quote him from earlier and he smiles. He leans in and kisses my head softly.

We sit in silence as the sun dips low in the sky, the breeze swirling around us. It's the perfect place for a kiss, but it still doesn't feel right. _Not yet._

"You ready to head out?" He whispers. I nod sleepily in his shoulder. He helps me up and we are holding hands again, without hesitation.

"Let's go skydiving." I joke. He chuckles.

"I was thinking more like… the park." He says.

"The one on the end of the pier?" I ask. I point to the green block between the end of the pier and the tall buildings of downtown. It's a well maintained square park of trees and not much else.

"No way, that's not a _real_ park. I'm talking about Abnegation Park. It's way cooler there, trust me." He says.

We probably have several dozen pictures in my family albums of Caleb and I at that park. It's been a long time since I've been there. _Not since Eric._

"I went there as a kid. I miss that place." I say. We reach the car and Tobias opens the door for me.

"Me too." He must live near where I did.

"Tobias, what high school did you go to?" I ask. His eyebrows furrow.

"I went to Abnegation High." He replies.

"Wait seriously? I did too! What year did you graduate?" I exclaim.

"2012. Didn't you go to the football games?" He asks.

"I was a freshman that year. And I was a complete nerd. I never went to the games. I did take a few senior classes, but I would have remembered a student named Four." I reply.

"We just missed each other. That's insane." He remarks. _Would our lives be different if we had met in high school? Would I have ended up dating Eric in the first place?_

"A nerdy Tris, huh? Not that far of a stretch. I could totally see it." He teases. I roll my eyes.

"I wasn't nearly as bad as my brother though, he was the captain of the math team. And the science club. It's a miracle he didn't get beat up a lot." I say.

"You have a brother?" He asks. _Oops._

"Caleb Prior. We were a just under a year apart so we were in the same grade. He's smart, with just a touch of douchebag. What about you?" I ask.

"No, it was just me." His eyes darken.

We are driving down Abnegation Road now, and my old house is just a few blocks East of here. My house was small and grey, along with the rest of that neighborhood. There are many church goers in that area, and it's a humble part of town. Here, however, the houses are tall and deluxe, though they are mostly painted in shades of grey. Tobias has slowed down, looking out the right window.

Tobias is focused on a large house up ahead. There is a fancy grey convertible parked out front, and the lights in the front room are on.

"Do you see something?" I ask. Tobias's head snaps up in surprise, like he forgot I was here. There's something in his eyes again. He seems… _angry?_

"Just a cat or something." He replies, indifferent. He looks straight ahead again and speeds up a bit. I don't press the issue.

A minute later we are pulling up to the old park. The minimal playground equipment basks in the dimming orange light. A little boy is on the swings, his mother pushing him. A few couples are out walking the sidewalks and sitting on the benches. The air is cooling fast as the light disappears.

"I want to show you something." Tobias whispers, before reaching in the back for a pair of flashlights and two grey towels. He hands on of each to me. _What are we doing here?_

"Are you up for an adventure?" He asks. His face beams with excitement.

"Let's do this! Whatever this is." I respond. He chuckles and opens the door. I follow suit, leaving my purse on the floor of the truck. I don't think I'll need it.

The air outside is cold, but the light should last for another hour or so. I wrap my towel around my shoulders and Tobias immediately takes off his leather jacket, offering it to me.

"Thank you, but this is fine for now." He gives me a skeptical look, but I roll my eyes and push his jacket back towards him. He puts it back on grudgingly. Chicago air in fall is not something you want to mess with, and knowing Tobias he'd freeze his ass off for me. Kind of like how he got on the Ferris wheel for me.

He leads the way, walking towards the woods. We follow an unpaved path, though it looks well-traveled. The leaves crunch under my feet and I begin losing myself in thought.

When I was a kid, I thought I would never change. I would always be selfless, nerdy Beatrice with an adventure streak, running through the woods by the park with her brother. Then I became collage Beatrice, missing her parents and focusing on her studies. But that didn't last long. I met Eric and became girlfriend Beatrice, which just morphed into Eric's Beatrice. I really didn't like Eric's Beatrice. She almost let herself die. After her came Tris. Tris fought hard because she almost died but then she didn't. A week ago I was still just Tris. But now, with Tobias, maybe I will become a new Tris again. A happier one.

After a few minutes, we come upon a canal, one of many in Chicago. It's a deep, wide concrete pit, and the water runs a blueish green. I stop to tie up my skirt in a quick knot below my knees. _Good thing I wore my combat boots._

Tobias walks along the concrete edges of the canal. There is a solid five feet between the ground and the water. I follow close behind. He is quiet, seemingly lost in thought.

We come upon a bend in the river, the corner of the canal consists of large, flat, natural stones. Across the river the buildings tower over us, creating the Chicago skyline. The train snakes through the buildings, speeding away.

Tobias habitually steps down the first few stones with ease before reaching a long, flat black rock that juts into the canal. He sets his towel and flashlight down on the surface before turning to me. The rock is large, big enough for both of us to lay down.

"A bit unconventional, I know. We don't have to stay long if you don't want, but I wanted to show this to you. If you want to-" Tobias rambles nervously.

"It's really cool Tobias. I've never seen this before." I give him a reassuring smile and he is beaming.

He takes my flashlight from me and sets it next to his own. I hop down the rocks to the one his standing on with ease and he turns around with surprise.

"I was about to help you down, but apparently Tris the wilderness explorer doesn't need it." I chuckle and lay out my towel on the rock next to his.

"Tobias, what is this place?" We both sit down on the towels, a few feet from the edge of the rock, which drops off for a foot before the water.

"I call it the Chasm. Which is stupid, because we are like a foot from the water, but it sounded cool when I was a kid. I used to come here to just get away from everything, you know?" I nod in understanding. _What did you have to get away from?_

The wind and the water provide a calming place to clear your head. Besides the occasional boat, I can't imagine being bothered here.

"It's beautiful Tobias. I had no idea the river was this close to the park." I remark. He nods absentmindedly, his thoughts elsewhere.

We sit in quiet for a few minutes, letting the wind clear our minds. I run my hair into a quick braid and throw it over my shoulder. We lean back on our elbows. I'm watching the sky, but Tobias is watching me. _He's trying to tell me something._ I turn and meet his eyes. He speaks carefully.

"I don't do this. With anyone. Ever. Not even Zeke knows about this place." He takes a deeps breath. "No one really knows me, and I'm so sick of it, Tris." _I can. I can understand you, Tobias. I know how that feels._

"I'm right here Tobias." Something in his eyes changes. A smile slowly pulls at his face.

"I've got a lot of… baggage." He begins, taking a deep breath. "I don't know what it is about you Tris, but I feel like you see right through me." He admits. I nod, dropping on one elbow so I'm facing him. He mirrors my position.

"You can tell me." I promise him. I understand his hesitation. Explaining baggage to another person lifts a little weight from your chest, but it puts it on someone else's. I see how much of my baggage Christina carries with her every day. Will does too.

Tobias is silent for a long time, dropping flat on his back against his towel. I lay back and wait. He needs time. He needs to be sure. All I know about is scars. That's all he knows too. He has to decide if he should listen to his gut. Trust is not an easy decision to make.

I turn my head, studying his face. His eyes are closed and his breathing is even. He holds the stress of his decision in his hands, clenching and unclenching them in fists by his side. I wait for him to flatten his hand, and slip mine into it. He gives it a gentle squeeze and we face each other, lying sideways on these towels with our clasped hands between us. He takes a deep breath before beginning.

"Do you know who Marcus Eaton is?" He asks. I nod slowly.

"He's the mayor." I reply. His eyebrows furrow.

"He's my father." _Marcus Eaton… Marcus Eaton._

"My dad was his assistant. Andrew Prior." I remark. Tobias's eyes widen in surprise.

"I didn't know that, actually." He admits. He looks off for a moment, lost in thought, before gasping.

"Tris. Beatrice. Beatrice Prior." His words tumble quickly. "Tris, you came to my house for dinner when you were three. I had no idea you were Prior's daughter." _I've met Tobias before._

"I had no idea. I guess you know my parents then." I respond. He nods, putting the pieces together.

"You were too young, but I was six. You came over a few weeks after my mom died. I remember it well. You and your brother made my dad smile, which he hadn't done in a while. This is crazy Tris."

We both try to process this for a minute.

What are the odds that I knew him when I was a toddler? Marcus Eaton didn't treat my dad very well. Marcus was a tired, aggressive politician, and it only became worse after his wife died. What was her name? Eve? Ella? No… it was Evelyn. Evelyn Eaton. They had a son named Tobias. Everyone knew his son because of the papers. There was a scandal when I was a kid, some sort of abuse allegation. _Holy shit. It was him. Tobias Eaton._

"Fuck, Tobias. So the newspaper, that whole scandal was real? Oh my god." I clench my fists, taking a deep breath.

Tobias's nods slowly, biting his bottom lip.

"Hence the scars." He says. My heart throbs and I choke back tears.

He needs me to do something, I don't know what. Something to prove I was the right person to trust. He's not looking for pity.

Tobias sits up, no longer looking at me. He's putting up a front, about to close me off. He's been so vulnerable and now he's scared.

I sit facing him, and I place a gentle hand on his cheek. His deep blue eyes lock with mine.

"Tobias. You are _incredible._ "

A stray tear runs down my cheek and Tobias catches it, holding my face in his hands. He pulls me into a hug with the same desperation he had on the Ferris Wheel. I rub circles on his back, trying to express my support for him.

"You're so kind and brave, Tobias. I never would have known if it weren't for your scars." I whisper into his chest. I pull away slowly, and we resume our positions, lying on our sides facing each other.

"Thank you." He says.

"For what?" I ask.

"For not looking at me like I'm a kicked puppy or something."

"Well you're not."

He shifts closer to me and takes my braid into his hands, twirling it into his fingers as he continues.

"After my mom died, Marcus started drinking all hours of the day, and he took everything out on me." Tobias sighs, slowing down. "He would scream and hit me. When I was ten he started using the belt." He swallows hard. I shudder at the thought. I remember the pain of a belt vividly. It's forever in my nightmares.

"It was so difficult to keep it hidden at school, especially when I started playing football, but football helped me release my anger." He admits. _There were so many scars, he must have been in constant pain._ He takes the ponytail holder off, gently undoing my braid. I have no objections.

"Hannah let me come over a lot when my Dad was gone for business. She made sure I ate and slept, and she helped me wrap my back sometimes. I don't know if I would have survived without her." He rakes a hand through his hair and sighs, lying flat on his back.

Tobias is the strongest person I know. It's hard to imagine him cowering in fear.

I move closer to him, resting my head against his side. He runs his hands through my hair, which feels incredibly soothing. The light is orange around us as the wind swirls through. The air is cold, but he keeps me warm. _I'm safe. Here, with him._

We lay like this for a while, forgetting the world around us.

I realize how badly I want to open up to him. It's a mix of emotions that make it hard to keep my mouth shut. I feel guilt for not telling him the truth when he just poured his heart out for me. I feel a new kind of trust in him, the type that makes me want to fall into his arms and let him make everything alright.

But I can't just dump everything on him all at once. He will surely treat me differently once he knows about what I went through. I don't want to be a kicked puppy either. Today is his day. His day to be vulnerable and raw, and my day to be here for him. I will tell him, when it feels right. He breaks the silence as the sun dips below the horizon.

"So why _Tris_? I mean, it suits you, but Beatrice is a nice name." He asks. Eric ruined that name for me. I hated who I had become, and I needed to change. _Anything else I tell him is a lie._ I change the subject.

"Why Four? Tobias is a beautiful name." I respond, ignoring his question. He must be confused, but he seems to drop it. I can't read his face because he's lying on his back.

"I didn't want people at school to know who I was after the scandal was published. I've had a number four jersey since sixth grade." He says. _He's spent most of his life having to hide._

"So, I guess you don't want me to call you Beatrice then?" He asks. I shake my head against his side and he chuckles.

"Why was your heart racing Tris? In the Ferris Wheel." He asks. _Damn._ I thought maybe he forgot about that. I blush crimson, but he can't see my face.

"You've been paying close attention, haven't you?" I tease. I imagine he may be blushing too.

"I like to observe people." He says. I giggle against his ribs.

"Tobias, you are a terrible liar." I tease. I'm testing the waters.

He surprises me by turning on his side and moving so we are face to face. I feel my cheeks go hot. _He is only six inches from me. Now five._ We share a breath. _Do I want to close the gap?_

"Fine. I watched you because I like you." He whispers.

There it is. Those words I don't know if I was ready for, but they are out there now. I feel my heart pick up again. I like him, I know I do. But it's terrifying to admit. _Why did he choose me?_

"Why me? I just don't get it. You saw my scars. I'm not brave or strong. I'm not pretty and compared to you I'm just-". I'm cut off by his deep laugh. He runs his thumb across my chin and I sigh deeply.

"Don't pretend," I say breathily. "You know I'm not."

"Tris I don't understand why you don't get it. You are _beautiful_. You have this unexplainable… spark. Why can't you see that?" _Eric. That's why I can't see it._ His eyebrows furrow and I feel like breaking down crying and kissing him at the same time. _Three inches._

"I spent a long time being told the opposite, Tobias. I'm not trying to be self-deprecating." It's an honest answer, just avoiding specifics. Tobias frowns, tucking my hair behind my ear. I pray he doesn't try to get me to spill more. He just nods in understanding, studying my face. I bite my lip, shy under his intense gaze. _Two inches._

"It's time someone told you the truth."

His deep blue eyes lock with mine and I feel _it._ That heart melting, floating on air, nothing but the two of us in the world feeling. Christina has described it to me and I thought she was crazy. Now I understand.

He slides his hand against my neck and if it was Eric, he would be choking me, but it's Tobias so he makes me sigh. He places a hand on the small of my back and if it were Eric he would shove me towards him, but it's Tobiasso he holds me gently. Eric reeks of booze, Tobias smells like safety.

He presses his lips to mine and I can't help but tense, unsure of myself. _I'm so stupid, I did something wrong._

My lips are cold as he pulls away, meeting my eyes. _He never wants to touch you again._

 _I want him. I want him. I want him._ I place my hands on his back, gazing into his eyes.

 _Kiss me Tobias._

He holds my face in his warm hands, pulling his lips soft to mine. Sparks fly between us, igniting every touch. I don't hesitate anymore.

I run my hands through his short-cropped hair and he sighs into the kiss. One of his hands cups my cheek while the other finds my waist.

Eric tasted like booze. Tobias tastes like chocolate cake.

I smile at the thought and we pull apart, beaming. His hair is disheveled and his cheeks flush. From the look on his face I probably look the same. I giggle and he places a sweet kiss on my cheek, whispering in my ear.

"Beautiful." I slide my arms around his neck and nuzzle into his chest. His muscular arms envelop my small frame and I breathe in his scent. I relax into his touch and we lay like this for a few minutes trying to catch our breaths again.

As we slowly separate, the wind blows colder without him to keep me warm. The light has dimmed significantly, the sky glows dark blue after the sunset. I shiver in the cold wind and he immediately drapes his jacket over my shoulders. I smile, sliding my arms in as we stand to gather our stuff. I'm thankful for these flashlights now. We hop up the rocks and begin our trek back to the park.

He goes in front of me, ensuring we are safe as we travel by our beams of light through the woods. This would normally terrify me, but with Tobias I don't think anything can hurt me. If an actual bear came out of the woods, I have no doubt Tobias would punch it in the nose to protect me.

"Well, that was interesting." He says with a smirk. I burst out laughing.

"Quite an unconventional date. But totally awesome." I admit, still grinning.

"Nothing like being stalked by my dumbass friend to set the mood. And, of course, the paparazzi. Followed by a nice, hot panic attack on the Ferris wheel. And now I get to murder you in the woods." He says, somehow keeping his composure. I'm snorting laughing at this point, covering my mouth.

"That's cute Tris." He says smugly.

"What? My snorting?" I tease.

"No, just the fact you think I'm kidding about the murder part." I roll my eyes, still smiling.

"As unconventional as that was, it was still amazing. I had an awesome time with you tonight. This morning too." I say. _So much has happened in a day, but I wouldn't take back a second of it._

"Tris, when can I see you again?" He asks. My chest feels warm.

"I'm doing nothing tomorrow. It's Chris and Will's date night." I reply. He smiles.

"If you're up for it, I'm going to play paintball with dumb and dumber. It's kinda crazy, but fun. We could get lunch together afterwards if you want." He offers. I grin.

"I've never played, but I'm in if you will have me." I respond. He chuckles.

"I just want to spend time with you, Tris." He says. My heart leaps.

"That can be arranged." I smirk.

We come upon the playground, deserted at this time of night.

"Race you to the truck!" Before I finish my sentence, I have already passed him, my skirt and hair flying behind me. He groans and jogs lazily behind me, and I easily beat him.

"I win!"

When he catches up he places a quick kiss on my cheekbone, making me giggle. We get in the truck, starting it quickly to kick on the heater. We take the same route back to my apartment and as we pull onto Abnegation road, we slow down once again.

I look at Tobias curiously as he pulls to a stop at the house with the grey convertible, the one he was staring at before. He gives me a meaningful look and it all makes sense.

"This was your house, wasn't it?" I ask. He gives a small nod.

"Is that his car?" I ask. Another nod. My blood is boiling.

"I come here often to check on this place. Mostly to make sure he's not dating anyone." He says sadly. _How has he kept himself from killing this man?_

"Do you have a brick? I would love to put one through his front window there." I seethe. Tobias just shakes his head.

"I don't really want to give him a reason to come after me, but if I decide to start throwing bricks I will be sure to bring you along." His fist clenches the steering wheel. I place a hand on his arm and he sighs.

"So Hannah lives over there?" I ask, pointing to the house across the street and he nods.

"If my family had come over more often… If we had seen it. God, Tobias. You were right here, fighting for your life. I wish I could have helped you." I swallow hard, guilt washing over me.

"Tris, don't. You were three. Don't blame yourself. I could have done more for myself too, but I didn't." He admit. _Neither did I._

"You were scared, it's not your fault. It's all on him. Every kid should be able to trust their father." I say. _Every girl should be able to trust her boyfriend._

He leans in again, and this time I meet him in the middle. We kiss softly, comforting each other. I never realized how many things a kiss can communicate besides lust. We pull apart slowly. His gaze is soft.

"Let's get you home Tris. This house makes me feel sick." I nod and hold his hand as we pull away.

We drive in silence, savoring our time together.

There are so many 'what ifs' in Tobias's story, and in mine.

What if my family had stayed close to his? What if we saw his abuse? What if we had saved him? What if I had become friends with him at school? The universe gave me so many chances and I failed him.

What if he had lived next to Eric? What if he had called the police the very first night Eric hit me? What if he met me at the Dauntless Bar and saved me?

Why did we both have several chances to save each other, but we didn't meet until a week ago? How is any of this fair?

There are several scenarios in which Tobias and I could be kissing tonight, without a scar on our body. It all seems so cruel.

Tobias parks in front of my building, squeezing my hand one last time before we get out. We walk quickly through the cold until we reach the warm building, where we take our time.

As we reach my door, we stop before going in.

I slide my arms around his back and he pulls me close in a hug.

"I had a wonderful time tonight." I whisper.

"Me too." I smile into his chest.

As we pull away, I surprise Tobias by standing on my tiptoes and placing a sweet kiss on his lips. He smiles widely and strokes my cheek.

I turn away and knock on the door, knowing Will is supposed to be here tonight while Christina is working. He opens it with a smile and shakes Tobias's hand.

"Four, this is Will. Will, Four." I introduce them.

"Thanks for getting her home on time, Chris was going to make me murder you and I didn't really feel like doing that." Tobias chuckles. I realize I'm still wearing his jacket so I hand it back to him.

"Goodnight Tris." He kisses the back of my hand, making me giggle.

"Goodnight Four." He winks at me, waving goodbye to Will.

As he closes the door I race to the peephole, standing on my toes. He pauses in the hallway smiling like an idiot, running a hand through his hair. I see him pull out his phone before walking down the hallway on a call, still smiling.

Will is looking at me like I'm crazy, but I run over to the couch and flop down, smiling so hard it hurts. I squeal into a blue throw pillow.

"Tris, did he drug you?" I shake my head, giggling.

"That peephole thing, Chris does that every time you leave. It's so cute." I tell him. Will smiles, sitting on the couch next me.

"So I take it you had a good date." Will smirks.

I think back to everything that happened, all the crazy, sad and sweet things between us. But all I can think to say is one thing, because it's incredibly true.

"It was perfect."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 **Holy frickin heck you guys are so sweet your reviews make me so happy! I'm so glad you all liked my last chapter, it was my favorite!**

 **I've been going through a rough time and writing has been last thing on my mind. I'm so sorry this took so long but I really hope you enjoy it. Love you guys.**

 **Disclaimer- I own nothing but my ideas.**

 **Rated T- Language and discussion of abuse in this chapter, as well as extreme dumbassery. You have been warned.**

 **(Tobias POV)**

 _Beep._

"Hey Zeke. Look, I know it's late but you're not sleeping so call me back. Tris is coming with us tomorrow. Sorry if this ruins your 'guys date' plan but I've never had a girl to bring to anything so keep your mouth shut about it." I pause, taking a deep breath, trying to make sense of my thoughts. "This girl. I can't even describe it man. She's fucking _perfect_ , okay? I can't talk about it right now, I'll tell you more later. You and Uri better be on your best behavior tomorrow. And please, for the love of god, DO NOTPRANK TRIS. She scares easy. I'm gonna go, goodnight man." I end the voicemail with a satisfied sigh.

I'm still in her stairwell, taking my time. I'm not really looking forward to going home to my cold, empty apartment tonight. I honestly can't wait for tomorrow morning, and it has nothing to do with paintball.

I send Zeke her address and text Tris.

 _-See you tomorrow, cutie. Is 9:00 okay?_

She texts back immediately and I smile, getting into my truck.

 _-Sounds great! Goodnight Tobias. ;)_

 _-Goodnight Tris. ;)_

I put my phone away, shifting into drive. A few seconds later my phone rings and I answer it quickly, expecting Tris to be on the other line.

"Hello?" I answer. I hear laughter on the other line, followed by Zeke's deep voice.

"I'm saving this voicemail for my toast as your best man. I am your best man, right?" He teases. I roll my eyes, but can't help but smile.

"Shut up Zeke." I say, dryly.

"You know I'm right dude. So, tell me… did you kiss her?" He asks. I chuckle. Of course that's the first thing he wants to know.

"Yeah, I kissed her. A few times actually." I'm about to continue, but I'm cut off by Zeke's screaming on the other line.

I pull the phone away from my ear to save my hearing. He's such an idiot, but I find myself beaming at his reaction. This is a big first for me. I've kissed other girls before, but I've certainly never felt the need to share it with Zeke quite like this. Tris is special.

"No fucking way! Dude, Uri owes me like a thousand dollars right now, I freakin knew you could do it! Listen, Shauna wants me to eat with her in a minute so I gotta go. I'll pick you guys up and take care of everything tomorrow. I promise you're going to love it." He says. I swallow nervously.

"Zeke, what? Paintball? We better be fucking paintballing tomorrow." I exclaim. He laughs mischievously and I can hear his shitfaced grin through the phone. Damn it.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, bro. See you tomorrow, Romeo."

Shit. I speak quickly, trying to talk him out of whatever dumbass thing he must be planning.

"Zeke, I swear to god you better-" _Beep._

I'm cut off as he hangs up and I sigh. I know he wouldn't do something mean to Tris, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have something embarrassing up his sleeve. I make a mental note to warn Tris about his antics tomorrow.

It's hard to think straight when so much has happened today.

Tris truly amazes me, even this morning when she ran like six miles for fun, before joining me to kick some punching bag ass. It's hard to keep up with her when she goes from kicking the bag so hard she's falling backwards to racing outside to escape the violence unfolding in the boxing ring. Sometimes she's unbelievably fearless and sometimes she's so fearful she can barely move.

I pull up to my apartment building and begin the long walk up. As I pass the elevators I almost trip over a guy laying on the floor, presumably drunk off his ass. His bulky frame is slumped against the closed elevator doors and I spot a fresh cut on his cheek. His neck is covered in stripy tattoos and he stinks of booze. I notice a piercing on his eyebrow. Gross.

I look around and the lobby is empty, so it's unlikely anyone else will help this dumbass. As much as I want to keep walking, he looks like he needs help. _Damn it_. He groans as I put his arm around my shoulders, hauling him up. His knuckles are bruised and split like mine, but I doubt a punching bag did the number on his cheekbone. He leans on me heavily and it becomes clear the stairs are not an option. Yay me. I push the button for the elevator and focus on breathing through my mouth to avoid the smell emanating from this dirt bag.

"What floor, dude?" I ask. He lazily opens his eyes, nearly falling back down. I should've left him in the hallway.

"Sevennnn. Annnnd it's Eric." He burps. I push the button and inhale sharply as the doors close. _God I hate this. Why did it have to be the elevator?_ Karma better pay me back for this one.

I distract myself from the rising metal box by stressing about tomorrow. Would Zeke get us arrested? Maybe we'll just get shitfaced drunk by noon. Zeke has had dumber plans before. I wonder what Tris is like drunk. It's probably adorable.

The doors finally open with a squeal and I haul Eric out. He stumbles so much I almost fall, but I manage to keep my composure. _Please don't throw up on me._

"What's your apartment number, Eric?" I say sternly. He blinks hard before answering, pointing sloppily to the wall in front of me.

"Ssseventyy." He groans. There is no '70' room in this building.

"Are you trying to say 7-E?" I question. When he doesn't respond I feel him go limp, passing out. I release his arm and he lays on his back on the floor. _Fuck this._

I'm turning around, leaving him here, when I spot an abandoned pacifier on the floor. _Damn it._ I feel the guilt in my chest. Children live here. And if I leave him like this, some kid is gonna find this disgusting asshole here in the morning.

I sigh and grab his elbows, dragging him to 7-E. It's actually the same apartment as mine, just three floors up. I find it quickly and pull the ring of keys from his back pocket, opening the door.

I drag him in and leave him on the floor. As I turn to leave, I notice the disgusting state of his living room. Beer bottles and fast food wrappers overwhelm every surface in sight, and the room smells about as putrid as him. I sigh and shake my head, turning towards the door to leave.

As I glance at the wall next to the door, I freeze in my tracks.

My blood goes cold as I examine a hole in the wall, a large oval about a foot below my head. This isn't some accident; no moving piece of furniture or misguided elbow can make a dent this shape. My breathing picks up and I step back in disbelief.

There is a hole just like this in Marcus's bedroom.

I was five the night he shoved my mom so hard, her head went through the wall behind her. I remember how she begged him to go to the hospital after she came to, but he just left, taking the car with him. I went to my mother's side and fell asleep in her arms until Marcus came back early in the morning, drunk beyond words. I spent the rest of the night in the closet, listening to my mothers screams.

Goosebumps cover my arms and I begin to feel sick. I quickly glance at Eric and he's still passed out, snoring drunkenly. I trace the hole with my hand and swallow thickly. Maybe Eric's a bigger pig than I thought. _What if I'm right? What if there's someone else here?_

I glance at him once more before making my way to his bedroom. It's all the same layout as my apartment, but far dirtier. I reach for his door slowly, my hand shaking. _I shouldn't be doing this._ But I just can't leave until I _know_.

"Is anyone here? Hello?" I speak quietly, the door squeals as I push it open. The apartment remains silent, besides Eric's snoring. Relief floods through me as I realize the room is vacant.

The rest of the place is spotless compared to his bedroom. Clothes litter the floor and dirty sheets cover his bed. They are dark grey, covered in various shades of brown stains, and I slowly realize the carpet has a similar pattern. _Is this blood?_ If it's blood, it's old. _What the hell happened in this room?_

I turn my attention to the walls and my heart sinks. There are several holes and dents lining the wall, especially near the floor. I notice severe marks on the wall surrounding the headboard, like it was shaken violently. _This man is a monster._

"Fuck." I mutter. If there was ever a girl here, I'm too late. I drag my fingers along the wall, feeling the dips and cracks with a heavy feeling in my chest. I hope I'm wrong about this.

The stench-filled air combines with my uneasiness and I just want _out_. I quickly turn back to the door and race to the front room, tossing Eric's keys on the counter before slamming the door.

I slump against the wall in the hallway, my face in my hands. The lighthearted, glowing feeling Tris left me with has vanished, replaced by a dreading fear. _What am I supposed to do?_ Do I call the cops? Do I watch him like I watch my dad? Do I confront him? I can't just ignore this, can I?

My head is spinning and I breathe frantically. I smell the sour booze on my clothes and my stomach churns. I shakily force myself to stand and make my way to the stairwell. My nerves take over and I take the stairs down two at a time. I round the corner and find the door marked 4-E, my apartment.

As soon as the door closes behind me, I kick off my boots and slide my jacket off. In a few steps I'm in the bathroom, splashing water on my face, trying to clear my head. I sigh and catch a glimpse of my stressed eyes in the mirror. I brush my teeth quickly and strip to my boxers, flopping onto my bed. I begin winding down, trying to put everything out of my mind.

Spare the last fifteen minutes, it was an amazing day.

Tris just sort of appeared, and everything got better. I still can't believe I told her about Marcus. When I was planning our date, I wasn't even sure I wanted to take her to the chasm, but the way she held me on the Ferris Wheel changed the way I feel about her. I'm amazed she could calm me down when I started panicking from the heights. Somehow, she knew how I needed to be held even when I didn't know it myself. I didn't realize how much I crave that kind of closeness.

It broke my heart when she told me she wasn't used to being called beautiful. Everything about her just captivates me in such an unusual way, I don't know how you could miss her beauty. I notice so many tiny things about her that become unforgettable to me. The way she chews her lip when she's nervous. How her fingers shake ever so slightly when she touches me. Her hair smells like lavender and her eyes are always big and bright, even when she's nervous. _She's perfect._

She has this incredible spark that seems to illuminate everything around her. Sometimes it's hard to believe she has anxiety and other times it's clear. She's a fighter. When she gets that look in her eyes I just want to hold her close, the same way she held me.

I sigh, losing track of my thoughts. The excitement of the day has worn me down. I habitually flip over to my stomach, stretching out. My back aches in protest and I groan. Tris had my back pain-free a mere twenty-four hours ago, but exercise combined with dragging that asshole down the hallway has taken its toll. I toss and turn in my bed, failing to get comfortable.

I swear I can feel the burn of the belt seared into my back. It feels fresh, like it just happened. It's the kind of pain you can't forget. When I get stressed my back just burns, like Harry Potter's magic fucking scar.

I get up restlessly, throwing off the covers. I rummage through my room, trying to find something to help me sleep. I could go for Tris's essential oils right about now. Or her lavender hair.

I look at my dresser and smile, realizing I have the next best thing. It's the shirt from when she gave me that first massage and it smells like vanilla lotion. I 'accidentally' forgot to wash it with everything else yesterday and it still holds a sweet scent. I slide the shirt on and inhale deeply, content to try for sleep again. I pull the covers over my head and lay more comfortably on my back. It's weird to think that it's been almost ten years since he beat me, but I still feel the pain.

I can't help but wonder how Tris deals with her scars. They were far more numerous than my own, and I only saw her from the waist up, except for what her bra covered. Some of them looked like mine, the same width throughout with a slight curve. I think those were made by a belt. There were many others though, scars I didn't recognize. I know she must have went through something awful, but I don't want to imagine what could do so much damage. _What happened to you, Tris?_

I wish I could do for her what she did for me with her massages, just lay her down and take away her pain with my hands. But I doubt she will let me see her scars again. _She never even wanted me to see them in the first place._ I sigh and rake a hand through my hair.

Everything I know about that side of Tris comes from Christina's little talk outside her apartment. I assumed Christina would just do the usual protective friend thing, grab me by the collar, threaten me a little. She was well past that.

Christina looked me in the eyes and told me that if I was fucking around with Tris, I would _destroy_ her. She said Tris has never had a relationship and that she was scared to death of intimacy, among other things. Christina did not elaborate, instead she gave me unbending rules and threatened that if I did not follow them, she would no longer let me see Tris. I listened carefully and still remember every word she said.

'Number fucking one. You do not touch Tris unless you are _sure_ she wants it. Ever. And do not reach anywhere under her clothes, I don't care if you're just touching her wrist. This is the number one rule for a goddamn reason. Number two. No alcohol. I don't care if she says it's fine, it's not. So don't. Number three. No yelling. It doesn't matter if-' She stopped suddenly, planted her face in her hands, and sucked in a breath. 'Damn it. It's fucking hard to do this, okay? I care about her so much. You just… can't fuck this up. She's the most selfless girl on this planet, and you can't take advantage of that. You saw her scars. That's what happened the last time someone took advantage of her. Just promise me you're not going to hurt her.'

I was more terrified when Christina broke down than when she was listing off her rules. She was desperate and panicky and I didn't know what to do. I looked her in the eyes and promised I would protect her the absolute best I could and that was enough to make her smile before she invited me inside.

I care so much about Tris, but that doesn't mean I won't end up scaring her, though I would never mean to. Tris is set off by strange things and it still catches me off guard. I still can't figure out what happened to her, all I can do is be patient and earn her trust. I want her to trust me so badly it hurts.

I look at my hand, thinking about how she so easily slipped hers into it. Her hand was so soft and just a little cold, the opposite of mine. The thought of her helps me settle down and I close my eyes, allowing my mind to drift.

I find myself wishing she was here, coaxing me to sleep. No one has ever slept next to me, but it's never bothered me before. I could have laid in the chasm forever with her head on my chest, my hands in her hair.

All I can smell is vanilla…

…

 _BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BE-_ SMACK!

For once I'm woken by my alarm clock, instead of a nightmare. It's 8:30, and Zeke should be here in roughly fifteen minutes, but that's assuming he's on time, which is rare. I wearily rub the sleep from my eyes.

I take a quick shower and dry off, catching a glimpse of my stubble in the mirror. As I brush my teeth, I begin to wonder if I need to shave. I've always heard Shauna complain when Zeke doesn't shave, but do all women hate stubble? _Would Tris like it?_ I decide to go unshaven and find out today.

It takes three tries to find the right shirt. Ninety percent of my closet is black, it's not like I have a lot of options, but they just don't seem _right_. The first shirt feels just a little too big, the second has a small hole in the armpit. I'm examining myself in the mirror, clad in my third shirt, feeling antsy. _I almost never use the mirror…_

This shirt is completely clean and almost new, fitting me snugly, but not too tight. It's good enough, right? _Why am I like this?_

It isn't until my fourth pair of jeans that I realize what's different.

 _Tris._

I'm worried about what I look like for her. I've never gotten ready with someone else in mind, but now she's all I can think about. I've landed on my favorite jeans and best shirt. My softest shirt _._ _Will Tris notice? Will she touch it?_ The thought makes my heart race.

I'm pulled from my task by a knock on the door. I quickly button my jeans, determined to make them the last pair I try on today. As soon as I unlock the door, it bursts open and the Pedrad brothers race in, shoving each other before enveloping me in a bone crushing hug.

"Hello to you too, I guess." My voice is muffled by Zeke's shoulder.

I must fight to keep my balance as they pull me every which way. They laugh and yell in my ear in singsong voices.

"Toby has a cruuuuush! Toby has a cruuuuush!" They tease loudly. It takes significant force to escape their embrace, but I manage to free myself and run to my room to find shoes. They follow close behind and laugh as I begin to lace up my black sneakers.

"Well someone had a fashion show!" Uri teases. I'm puzzled until I see him gesture to the pile of clothes on the floor, my rejects for today's outfit. I don't bother making up an excuse, opting for my usual eyeroll instead. Zeke and Uri run into the kitchen, presumably to raid it for chocolate. They won't find any.

I take one last rare glance in the mirror before deciding I'm semi-decent looking for today. I make the risky decision to use the cologne Zeke bought me for Christmas last year, putting on the smallest amount possible. I like the smell, but I'm scared it's too much. I wipe my nervous hands on my jeans and throw my jacket on before grabbing my phone, wallet, and keys, shoving them deep into my pocket. Uri and Zeke follow me out, giggling. I turn to the stairs and they follow excitedly. They resemble hyperactive dogs being taken on a walk.

"Someone's getting all dressed up. I'm not used to you being late. Trying to impress someone, are we?" Zeke probes. I sigh, checking my phone. It's already 8:50, and we will be a few minutes late picking up Tris. I shoot her a quick text.

 _We will be a few minutes late. Sorry!_

It takes a few tries before I decide on the right wording and send it. I'm definitely being weird today.

"Hello? Earth to Four? You good dude?" Zeke asks.

I blink hard before nodding, realizing I'm not paying attention to the cars in the lot. I've begun the trek to my truck, instead of Zeke's green Jeep, which is parked near the front. I shake my head and hop in the back since Uriah takes shotgun very seriously. He and Zeke have a standing argument about whether 'shotgun for eternity' is allowed. I'm not about to get in the middle of that debate.

"It's been a weird morning, Zeke. Do I look okay?" I ask apprehensively. Zeke chuckles and gives me a knowing glance before starting up the car.

"Tobias, you look sexy as hell. I would totally do you. Uri would too." Zeke says seriously. I laugh despite myself.

"He's right. Tris isn't gonna know what hit her." Uri concludes smugly. I look at the floor.

"So what happened last night? I could only stalk you for so long. All I know is that you kissed her, which means Uri can't afford rent this month." Zeke jokes. Uri flips Zeke off and I chuckle.

"Yeah, I'm broke now dude, and it's all your fault. I was relying on the historical evidence of your past dates and it failed me. So tell me, what's wrong with Tris?" Uri questions.

Uriah and Zeke are used to my 'no bullshit' approach when it comes to girls. Being a football player has turned me into a magnet for unwanted attention from the wrong type of girl. Since high school, my 'relationships' have never lasted longer than one date. Zeke says that makes me an asshole, but I think it's better to end things with a girl than to drag out an inevitable breakup. I don't think it takes longer than a few hours to decide if a person is worth getting to know.

The day after a date I'm always trying to explain to Zeke and Uri that, yes, she had a nice ass, but that doesn't make her worth a second date. Sometimes it's simple, like she was rude to the waiter or she was on her phone the whole time. Other times the thing wrong with her is complicated. Something I can't name easily. But it always ends with one date.

"If there's something wrong with Tris, I sure as hell can't figure it out." I admit, proudly. Uri's mouth drops and Zeke reaches back for a high five. In all the years I've known these freaks I've never said that about a girl.

"Uri do you even know what Zeke did last night?" I ask. Uri shakes his head.

"He watched Tris and I the entire time we were at The Pit, while blowing up my phone. Then he brought us chocolate cake and sat on my lap. When we went to leave, he held Tris's hand. I almost killed him." I exclaim. Uri is holding his stomach laughing and fist bumps Zeke, who is smiling proudly. Idiots.

"Dude, you didn't tell me you were going on a date with Tris! I saw you there and freaked out, what did you expect? I could have done far worse." He admits proudly. "What happened yesterday? I called you like five times and never heard back." He says.

"I'm sorry Zeke. In the morning, I was at the gym and I ran into Tris. I taught her some moves on the punching bag and she was so… so… I don't even know, man. She was amazing. And it just hit me how much I like her." I admit.

I describe yesterday's events briefly, trying to fit everything in before we make it to Tris's apartment. I leave out the fact that we went to the chasm, I still haven't told them what that is. Instead I tell them we went to the park and kissed on the grass. I leave out the talk Christina had with me as well. Some things are meant to stay personal.

"I can't believe you told her about your past. What made you do it?" Zeke asks. The answer to that is complicated, and one of the reasons I told her is because of her scars. I thought maybe she would know what I went through. But I'm keeping her scars a secret from them, from anyone. I'm sure she doesn't want anyone to know. _Not even me._

"It was just the way she made held me on the Ferris Wheel. It felt right." I admit, focusing on my shoe.

A silence falls over the Jeep, which is rare, considering its owner. Both Pedrad boys are lost in thought. Uriah shatters the quiet after a minute.

"So tongue or no tongue?" He asks crudely, earning himself a slap on the neck from Zeke. I roll my eyes dramatically and fire one back.

"Well no tongue actually. Tris and I aren't like you and Marlene." I smart. Now it's Uri's turn to roll his eyes. He and Marlene got shitfaced on their first date and did it in the bathroom of the bar. They are going strong now, but it's still a sore spot for them. I smile in victory as Zeke turns into the parking lot of Tris's building.

As Zeke puts it in park he looks at Uri and nods. _I know that look._

Before either of them can move, I'm out the door, running towards the stairwell. I hear them behind me, whooping and giggling as they go to the elevator. I take the stairs two at a time and rely on my memory to make it to Tris's door before them. I slam through the stairwell door when I reach her floor, number four, before rounding the corner to her apartment. I almost run straight into her door in panic, momentarily forgetting how to knock.

I can recognize Zeke and Uri's laughs down the hallway, closing in just as I am knocking on the door. Christina opens it in grey sweatpants and a tank top just as the idiots finally catch up.

"I win!" I inform her, proudly. Zeke pouts dramatically, shoving Uri.

"I told you we should have taken the stairs!" Zeke whines.

Christina looks me over and winks, giving me a nod of approval. I guess that means Tris had as good of a night as me. I sigh in relief, smiling widely at her.

"Come on in." She says kindly, opening the door. I enter the living room, idiots in tow, when a blonde blur crashes into my arms.

Tris melts into me, her arms snaking around my back. I inhale her hair and cherish the way her cheek nuzzles against my chest. _Lavender._ I wrap my arms around her, making sure I'm gentle. She's giggling into my chest. I have to fight the urge to pick her up and spin her around like they do in the movies.

Over her shoulder I spot the vase of blue flowers on the counter next to a tired looking Will, nursing a mug of what I presume to be coffee. He chuckles at her enthusiasm, but I'm beaming. I didn't expect her to be so physical, but she's normally unpredictable. I'm not complaining.

"Good morning Tobias." She whispers, against my chest. I close my eyes, savoring the moment.

"It is now."

 **Once again, I'm sorry this took so long the next chapter will be posted in the next few days, I promise. And it will be a funny one…**

 **Laurel**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

 **I cannot believe how sweet your reviews were for the last chapter I love you guys so much! Seriously I was crying with happy when I read them I don't deserve you guys. Major love.**

 **(Tobias POV)**

" _It is now." I speak softly into her lavender hair._

Zeke and Uri enter behind me, chuckling at the look on my face. Hearing them, Tris pulls back, blushing. She looks at the ground and tucks her hair behind her ear, giving me one last shy look before turning her attention to the idiots. _I want to tuck her hair back like that._

"Uhhhh… Hey guys." She says shyly. _She's embarrassed to touch in front of other people._ I don't blame her. I'm surprised Zeke didn't wolf whistle at us. I wouldn't put it past him.

"Good morning Tris." Zeke and Uri speak in unison, grinning ear to ear. They resemble twins sometimes, despite a significant height difference.

"Will this be ok for paintball?" She asks, gesturing to her black yoga outfit and sneakers. I smile, she looks like a hot ninja. I wish we were paintballing. I want to see her nail Zeke with a paintball _so_ badly.

"That's perfect for today's activities." Zeke says ominously. Tris gives me a puzzled look.

"Despite my protests, Zeke has decided to plan today a bit differently. And no matter how much I beg, he won't tell me what. So that's fun." I explain. Tris's eyes widen and she looks nervous. Will raises his eyebrows at me from the kitchen.

"Zeke, what are my rules?" I ask him, sternly. These rules took several years of incidents for me to create, but they seem to do the trick nowadays. He rolls his eyes dramatically, counting off the rules on his fingers.

"Nothing is allowed if it involves police, heights, nudity, poison, or fire of any kind. Also, no singing Disney songs, breaking and entering, and no pranking children or old people. Are you happy now, _mom_?" Zeke whines. Tris is chuckling, her hand covering her smile. Will nods in approval, laughing deeply.

"And in case you were wondering, yes, those rules each have their own unfortunate incident to match. I promise Zeke won't do anything insane. Actually, I can't promise that. But I promise it won't be dangerous." Tris raises her eyebrows at me skeptically, before shrugging. She looks at Zeke with determination.

"Add to that list no drinking or holding Tris's hand and I'm in." She quips. Zeke pouts before grasping my hand defiantly.

"Deal." He declares. I roll my eyes, but his grip is too strong to escape. I offer my other hand to Tris and she takes it carefully.

"Let's get going then." I say. We turn around, leaving Uri the fourth wheel. He scoffs before following, dragging his feet.

Christina laughs at the three of us holding hands, Uri in tow, and gives Tris a squeeze on the hand. Before leaving, she gives me a meaningful look before glancing at Tris and I know she's telling me to look out for her today. I nod to reassure her. I would never let anything happen to Tris.

As we make our way to the Jeep, I notice Tris still seems nervous. Zeke and Uri can be a lot to take in if you aren't used to them.

As we get into Zeke's Jeep we sit in the back and she drops my hand. She sits on the right side of the Jeep, scooted close to the door. The empty seat between us makes me frown. I understand if Tris needs her space, but she's not looking at me and I'm worried I did something wrong. Uri has turned on the radio and he and Zeke are singing along horribly. As we begin driving to our mysterious destination, the wind whips through the open windows of the Jeep, making it impossible for them to hear us. I lean in carefully and speak gently to Tris.

"Are you okay?" I ask. She nods uncertainly, biting her lip.

"I just… Does Uri know? About us, I mean. I don't know how to act around them... Should I touch you?" Tris asks, carefully. She wipes her palms across her thighs and I give her a reassuring smile. _She's nervous around me._

"Tris you can do whatever you want. I told them everything this morning. These two won't judge you. And if touching me in front of them scares you, then don't. I just want you to be comfortable." I say kindly.

Tris mulls this over for a moment, before smiling to herself and undoing her seatbelt. She easily scoots left to the seat in the middle, leaning slightly against me. Her temple rests on my bicep timidly. I resist the urge to pull her into my lap, to feel more of her against me.

"I'm sorry." She says simply. I furrow my brows, confused.

"Tris you didn't do anything wrong." I assure her.

"I'm just always so… unsure. I don't know what to think about anything. This is all new to me." She admits. I notice how she pulls at her fingers as she says this. _She's still uncomfortable._ I feel the newness of everything too. Everything is different with her.

"Tris. This is all new to me too." I say. Her eyebrows jump in surprise and she removes her head from my shoulder. She looks in my eyes, trying to decide if she believes me or not. _Does she think I meant I've never dated anyone?_ I rush to explain myself. I'm not about to lie to her about my past.

"Well, I mean, I've been on dates before, but never like this. I mean… you're different. You're not like other- Oh god, now I sound like an asshole. I didn't mean it like-" I start to backtrack but her hand rests on my bicep, stopping my tangent.

"I know what you mean, Tobias. It all feels new, but I've done this before too." She opens her mouth like she's about to continue, before closing it and looking away.

Her mind seems somewhere else. Tris rests her head against my shoulder again, wringing her hands in her lap. The way she fidgets doesn't sit right with me. I feel like I just stepped on something inside of her.

"It's okay, Tris. Do you mind if I- I mean, do you want me to… uh…" I hesitate, picking up my arm on her side and she smiles, carefully pulling it over her shoulders.

She settles her head against my chest and my arm wraps across her small frame, ending at her thigh. _What do I do with my hand?_ I'm not about to hold her thigh. I awkwardly rest my closed fist on the outside of her thigh, my knuckles grazing the fabric of her leggings.

She looks at the awkward position of my hand and laughs, slipping her hand into mine to end my misery. I let out a relieved sigh and she giggles, giving my hand a squeeze.

"You _are_ new at this." She teases. I catch Zeke's eye in the review mirror and he pauses from singing at the top of his lungs long enough to send a wink my way. I smile and close my eyes, leaning back on the seat.

I sit like this in peace, reveling at the occasional nuzzle of Tris's cheek against my chest. It's truly the best feeling in the world. Her hair flows with the wind, tickling my cheek. I forget where I am when I'm with her.

Maybe ten minutes later I'm pulled from my trance as the car rolls to a stop. I groan as Tris pulls away from me and she giggles. It's a magical sound. I open my eyes as Zeke kills the radio, the silence a stunning contrast to the noise a moment ago. Zeke shatters the quiet immediately, turning around in the driver's seat to address Tris. His hearing must be shot from the radio, because he's practically screaming.

"TODAY WILL BE MARKED IN HISTORY AS THE INITIATION OF TRIS WHATEVER-YOUR-LAST-NAME-IS. YOU WILL UNDERGO A SERIES OF FOUR CHALLENGES. IF YOU SUCEED, YOU WILL BE GRANTED A LIFETIME OF AWESOMENESS KNOWN AS BEING FRIENDS WITH ME. IF MHMHMHMH-" I cut him off by covering his mouth with my hand, only to have my palm licked a second later.

"ZEKE WHAT THE FUCK! WHY?" I exclaim, in shock. I turn to wipe my hand on Tris's sleeve, only to find her sitting on the floor of the Jeep next to me, shaking with laughter. I reach for her shoulder to wipe it off and she squeals, making me laugh. I grudgingly wipe my palm on my jeans. These _were_ my favorite jeans…

"Tobias that was shitty judgement on your part, you can't blame me for that." Zeke claims, proudly. Tris is somehow laughing harder, and I can't help but join her. Uri has collapsed laughing across his seat, his feet out the window and his head resting on the center console. Zeke continues, thankfully at a more reasonable volume.

"If you fail, you will be destined for a lifetime of misery and sadness." He finishes with a dramatic bow, karate master style. Tris is still laughing too hard to reply.

"For your first challenge, you must prove your bravery. We shall take you to the train. It is your time." Zeke finishes, dramatically. Tris and Uri have managed to catch their breaths, and I finally realize where we are parked. We are near the park on the end of the pier. I'm not sure what Zeke is up to. I catch a glimpse of the top of the Ferris Wheel in the distance and smile to myself, remembering the events of last night.

"You can't catch the train from here, Zeke." Tris observes. We all begin to exit the car, taking in the fresh breeze off the water.

"Well it's not exactly a challenge to take the train, initiate. It's not like you have to run to catch them or something. It's 2017!" Zeke rubs his hands together manically. "I have something far more challenging planned." He claims. Tris rolls her eyes and exchanges a look with Uri, who shrugs. It seems Zeke was the only mastermind of this plan. It makes sense considering how bad Uriah is at keeping secrets. If Uri was in on this 'initiation', we would already know what all four challenges are.

Tris, Uri, and I trail down the pier behind Zeke, who is stopping every several feet to dramatically determine the direction we need to go. As if we aren't just walking down the sidewalk. He pauses once again, licking his thumb and holding it up as if to determine the direction the wind is blowing.

A few steps later he stops sharply, arms out to his sides in a T shape. He begins spinning around frantically, remaining stone-faced. Tris cracks up and snorts, briefly, covering her mouth in embarrassment. Now I'm the one dying of laughter. A blush creeps over her face, turning even the tops of her ears a nice shade of pink.

"So graceful." I tease, grinning widely. She blushes harder, before holding my hand, playfully bumping into my shoulder with hers. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

We make our way down the pier, earning some stares from strangers. _It's just three huge football players and a petite, beautiful blonde hanging out, nothing to see here folks. Oh, and the tallest black one is having a mental episode of some sort._

Tris interrupts my internal dialogue with a sharp yelp, yanking her hand from mine, wiping it frantically on her jeans. I'm immediately scared I hurt her.

"Tris? I'm sorry!" I apologize desperately. She bursts into laughter and I'm incredibly confused.

"Zeke…" She takes a deep breath to stop laughing, "ZEKE LICKED THAT HAND! HOW DID I FORGET?" She screeches. It's enough to make Zeke stop his insane gestures and burst out laughing with the rest of us. I reach out and mange to swipe my palm on Uri's cheek, making him shriek. I grin triumphantly.

"Look, now we all have Zeke's STD's!" I proclaim. Zeke pumps his fist in the air in victory. Tris's nose crinkles as she cringes, making me smile. She catches me staring and bites her lip, looking down shyly. I feel something swell in my chest as she does this. Uri distracts me from her by making gagging sounds. He's still rubbing his cheek aggressively with the back of his hand.

"I've never seen Zeke brush his teeth! I need rubbing alcohol like right now." Uri exclaims. Zeke leans into his face and breathes out, making Uri smell his breath. Uri screeches and begins to run down the pier, Zeke hot on his heels. Tris and I exchange a look that says 'we are not chasing them under any circumstances' and she makes a big deal of grabbing the hand Zeke did not lick and holding it tightly.

"Is it always like this?" She asks with a grin.

"Yes, always." I respond, without hesitation.

"I think I can live with that. Well, that's assuming I don't die during one of the challenges today." She jokes.

"That's an honorable way to go. I would be proud." I joke. She rolls her eyes, before yawning softly. I reflexively yawn in return.

"Did you sleep okay?" I ask, concerned. I really hope I didn't make her lose sleep last night. Zeke used to get nightmares after he saw my scars. It would break my heart to know Tris had nightmares because of me.

"I fell asleep fast but woke up again later. Then Christina came home at like five in the morning. But I'm okay. I'm glad I'm here. It's quite entertaining." She says, smiling.

"I'm glad you're here too. Now I don't have to babysit them all by myself." I tease. She smiles, before nudging me with her shoulder lazily. We are nearing the middle of the pier, and I spot Zeke and Uri running back our way.

"Oh boy." Tris comments. Uri narrowly avoids a head on collision with a light pole, making both of us gasp.

"I just want to know how many drugs they are on." I say seriously.

They appear to be racing each other, and I get the sinking feeling that _I_ am the finish line. I drop Tris's hand and step back, and she does the same. Uri miraculously comes in first, slapping my ass as he narrowly avoids plowing me over. Before Zeke has the chance to do the same, I catch his hand and push him away, causing him to stumble into Uri. Tris is giggling at the calmness of my face.

"Uri, you're such an idiot." Tris exclaims.

"But I won!" He argues. Tris plants her forehead in her palm, still chuckling. They may be stupid, but they never fail to make people laugh.

"You guys walk slow. Were you making out?" Zeke teases. I roll my eyes and see Tris shift uncomfortably.

"Zeke do you want to go swimming? Because there's plenty of water over there." I deadpan, pointing off the edge of the pier. Zeke scratches the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Anyway," Zeke changes the subject. "It is now time for the train of death." Zeke points to the right of the carousel, at a small kiddie roller coaster of some sort. It takes a minute for me to realize that the thing driving at five miles per hour around the track is, in fact, a train. Tris shakes her head.

"Zeke you actually had me scared! You're such an idiot." She says. We all head to the line of the 'roller coaster' while I attempt to explain the mind of Zeke to Tris. I notice the line consists entirely of children.

"Tris, something you need to learn about Zeke is that he has no common sense whatsoever, especially when it comes to pranks. It's either something way too big and dangerous, or it's something incredibly dumb. One time he put a feather in my shoe as a prank, and another time he shitted in the bed of my truck. There is no in between." I explain. She cringes and stands on my other side to distance herself from Zeke. Zeke just shrugs.

"You have to admit the truck thing was hilarious." He points out. I shake my head. He will never get it. As the line creeps forward, my mind wanders.

I fear for Shauna's safety sometimes, because she's his favorite person to prank. On their wedding day, he replaced her diamond ring with a ring pop. I still don't know how he switched it in my suit pocket without me seeing him. I looked like a shitty best man when they had to pause the ceremony while I ran back to my hotel room to find her real ring. I still think Shauna blames me for the whole thing, but she was angrier at Zeke for eating the ring pop before the wedding pictures. In every single one his mouth is bright blue. She tried printing them in black and white, but then it looked like he was wearing dark lipstick.

Tris pulls me from my thoughts with a tender stroke across my cheek. I look down at her, surprised, and she smiles sweetly. Her finger traces my jaw and I have to remind myself to breathe. She leans against me and whispers softly.

"Stubble suits you." She breathes. Her finger travels to my chin and she pauses. Her palm rests on my cheek as her thumb gently grazes across my lower lip. I have to fight to keep my eyes open. _No one has ever touched me quite like this._

She meets my eyes for just a second, before pulling away. Her cheeks tint with embarrassment, but her other hand still rests on my forearm. The breeze whips around us and her hair stripes her face. I carefully take my thumb and tuck a piece behind her ear, tracing from her temple to her jaw, my fingers lingering against the soft skin just below her ear. I watch her eyes flutter slightly as she sighs. She leans forward into my chest, giggling. As she buries her face in my chest, I wrap my arms around the small of her back, pulling her close. The casual touches are unfamiliar to us, but so amazing. I never imagined stuff like this could feel so good.

We pull apart as we reach the front of the line and the ride attendant gives us a weird look.

"I'm not sure if I can put you guys on this thing. I don't want to break it." He says, gesturing to my bulky frame.

Zeke pushes past us and I realize I forgot he was here for a second. He stands next to the arrow that reads 'Must be this tall to ride' with his arms crossed in defiance. The sign reaches his waist. The attendant shrugs and opens the gate for us to board. I guess Zeke can be persuasive. He did drag us here, after all.

The seats are wide enough for four children per row, which means Tris and I can fit comfortably in one cart while Zeke and Uri must cram together to fit into the one behind us. My legs are squished, but Tris's side rests comfortably against mine, and her head rests on my shoulder.

I love that she wants to be close to me.

The train starts with a small jerk, before continuing at an agonizingly slow speed around the circular track. There are two small humps we go over that are only about a foot off the ground. Naturally Zeke and Uri spend the entire time with their arms in the air, whooping and cheering like we were on some awesome rollercoaster. I spend my time on the train tracing circles on Tris's shoulder and watching her laugh at the Pedrad brothers. When it's time to get off, it takes a minute for Zeke and Uri to un-wedge themselves from the seat, which proves to be more entertaining than the ride itself. We walk back down the pier again, Zeke and Uri limping slightly.

"So Zeke, _that_ was the train of death? I'm starting to think you're not very good at this." Tris teases. Zeke scoffs and Uri gives Tris a serious look.

"Don't encourage him, trust me." Uri warns. It's the first sensible thing out of his mouth today.

"What's the next challenge?" Tris asks. Zeke's face lights up. Uh oh.

"The net of bravery. Obviously. And I promise it's more fun than the train of death. I wanted to have us all jump off a roof or something, but according to the internet, that's how people commit suicide so I figured it would be better to just do that next weekend instead." Zeke says confidently. His sense of humor is very strange, ranging from fart jokes to witty sarcasm. It's hard to keep up with him. Tris chuckles before joining in.

"Next weekend seems far more reasonable." She quips.

"I am nothing if not a reasonable man, Tris." Zeke claims. Tris bursts into laughter at this, and I join her.

"Where is the net of bravery, Zeke?" Uri asks.

"Please hold all questions until the end of class." Zeke shoots back. He sticks out his tongue at Uri, who immediately reciprocates. They walk like this all the way to the car. At least they're quiet this way.

I slide into the back of the Jeep and I can't help but smile when Tris confidently slides close to me. We resume our earlier position as Zeke begins the drive, with my arm wrapped around her, her head on my chest. Only this time, she's reaching up, playfully running her hands through my hair. I smile widely and place a kiss against her temple. I lean in and talk softly to her.

"I forgot to tell you this earlier. You look beautiful today. And always. Just… beautiful in general. If you don't remember, I'll remind you." I tell her kindly.

I expect her to blush, maybe giggle, but instead she surprises me. Tris shifts so she's looking at me, her face serious. She just freezes there for a moment, gazing into my eyes, before slipping her hand over my cheek. As her other hand finds my hair, she pulls her mouth to mine. Her lips are so _soft_. I quickly lose my hands in her hair. A few seconds later she pulls away slowly, before sliding back to her spot against my chest. I put my arm back around her and try to catch my breath, processing the rush of emotions kissing Tris provokes. I can't help but play with her silky hair as she settles against me. _So perfect._

"Nice dude." Uri comments on our kiss from the front seat. Tris and I automatically flip him off, which makes her giggle.

"We're there now so please put your pants on now." Zeke says, pulling into a parking spot. We appear to be at some sort of playground. I'm about to yell at him, but Tris beats me to it.

"You're just jealous Tobias won't make out with you. I mean, I get it, he's incredibly hot. It must be so frustrating." She speaks quickly, delivering her burn with accuracy. I almost snort with laughter and Zeke's mouth is hanging open while Uri is practically shitting himself. Tris shrugs and smoothly exits the car, making her way to the tall rope structure in front of us. I follow her quickly and she smiles at me, sending a wink my way. She takes my hand and we run to the base of the structure.

I look up and see five levels of nets made of rope, with different holes and tunnels connecting them. Over the top is a silver roof which shines brightly in the late morning light. The ropes that make up the netting are black, connecting to four large poles at the corners. If you ignore the fact that there are only kids playing on the nets, this place is somewhat cool.

Tris's face lights up as she takes in the structure. She grabs my hand and leads me to the first level which is a basic angled net up to several holes to crawl onto the next level. She climbs ahead of me with excitement, and I struggle to keep up with her pace. She's much nimbler than me. I'm struggling just to get my shoes to fit in the net.

Next thing I know, Tris is a level above me, reaching down through the hole to help me up.

"This is awesome!" She exclaims. I finally make it onto the same level as her and her eyes brighten with excitement.

"Race you to the top!" She declares, with a mischievous grin. I groan, but she's already several feet away. I decide to take this seriously and give Tris a run for her money.

She's halfway up the level above me when I realize I can kind of use my arms to pull myself up, letting my feet slip as I run up. I begin to catch up to her, but I'm only on the fourth net when she reaches the top. She laughs down at me and lays back, catching her breath.

I climb up a rope ladder and reach the top, crawling over to her and flopping on my back, making the net bounce. Tris squeals, sliding into me despite her efforts to stay still. She's on her back scrambling to pull away, but my weight makes the net dip significantly around me.

"It's okay Tris. You don't have to move." I reassure her.

She flops down in defeat before turning on her side, facing me. Her body rests against my side and I move my arm so she can rest her head on my chest instead of the rough rope of the net. As Tris settles into me, she wraps my arm around her and I wince as her fingers make contact with fresh rope burn on my elbow. Her hand immediately jumps away and she apologizes.

"I'm so sorry!" She exclaims.

"Don't worry about it, Tris. I didn't even notice it was there. Did you get burned too?" I ask. She shakes her head, motioning to her long sleeves. _Oh, right._

"One benefit of always having to wear long sleeves." She says. The mood changes between us, but it's not uncomfortable. I'm just worried about her.

"Do you? I mean, what if you tried wearing short sleeves?" I ask. She frowns, shaking her head.

"I just… can't." She says. She sighs deeply into my chest. Silence falls over us. Her fingers trace my collarbone.

It's exhausting for me to constantly worry about covering my back alone, and my scars are much more faded than hers. I can't imagine having to cover my arms, back, stomach- How much does she have to cover?

"Tris… Do you always have to wear pants too?" I ask uncertainly. She looks up at me surprised.

"Uhh… Yeah. My legs match my arms. I forgot you only saw my upper half." She says sadly. It never dawned on me that her entire body was covered in scars, though it seems stupid now to have thought it was just her top half. _What happened to you, Tris? What could possibly-_

"You know, I tried it once. Wearing short sleeves, I mean. It was summer and Christina and I just needed to go grocery shopping. She convinced me it wouldn't matter, and I believed her. People stared, but I pretended not to notice. When I got to the checkout line, the cashier freaked out. I still remember her exact words. She said, "Honey, what are you doing? There are children here!" I couldn't even breathe. I just left my full cart there and ran out. I cried the whole way home, laying across the backseat." She takes a shaky breath before continuing. "I just never want to feel like that again. So I wear pants. And long sleeves. Even when I'm home alone. I'm constantly checking to make sure my scars aren't visible. I don't swim and I just stay home if it's too hot out. I'm incredibly pathetic." She finishes, burying her head in my chest.

It takes me a minute to process everything she just said. I feel a rush of anger. Why did that lady have to ruin it for her? Why is the world so harsh that Tris can't wear what she wants to? She survived whatever horrible trauma it was that gave her those scars, but the rest of her life is dictated by them. She's not comfortable in her own skin. Then again, neither am I. I just don't have to hide as much.

"I almost quit football in high school so I wouldn't have to change in the locker room. I failed PE all four years because I refused to change out for class. I wouldn't tell the coaches why, and I kept getting detention for it, which almost got me removed from the team. If I wasn't such a good quarterback, I would have gotten kicked off. If that's not pathetic, I don't know what is." I explain. Tris shakes her head.

"You were just protecting yourself." She says.

"So were you. We're not that different, Tris." I tell her. She meets my gaze again, with a small smile.

"People suck." She comments, lightheartedly. I smile and run a hand through her hair.

"Everyone but you." I say, making her roll her eyes before smiling and flopping back down on my chest.

We lay there in comfort, the wind whipping around us. The net sways slightly, but it keeps us together. Tris is drawing on my chest and I realize having her here made me completely forget how high up we are. The thought doesn't even scare me. We may be fifty feet over the concrete, but Tris keeps me grounded. I'm sure this isn't what Zeke had in mind when he brought us here. Zeke… Where the hell is he, anyway?

I turn my head to the side carefully, to avoid disturbing Tris. It only takes a second to spot Uri and Zeke. They are running in the field behind the net structure, chasing after a big, black dog. What the hell did they get themselves into?

I want nothing more than to stay right here with Tris against me. After a few minutes, however, I realize I need to get down there. Zeke and Uri have now caught the dog, and they are both struggling to hold onto it as it tries to escape. I sigh in defeat and dread the feeling of her leaving the comfortable spot against my chest.

"Tris, I think Zeke and Uri are stealing someone's dog." I admit. She chuckles, not moving from her spot.

"Look, I think it's trying to escape!" I exclaim. She jumps up, leaning across me to look down. I forget to breathe as her chest falls against my stomach.

"Oh shit! I thought you were kidding!" She exclaims. We immediately jump up and make our way down the net structure as fast as humanly possible. I notice the rope burn is much more painful on the way down. We run to them as the dog jumps on Uri, covering his face in kisses.

"Return the dog right the fuck now!" I yell. They both freeze in surprise like kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Zeke points at Uri as Uri points at Zeke, quick to blame each other.

"But it's so fluffy!"

 **To be continued… I know this is a bad place to end it but I'm over five thousand words and I don't want to make this chapter too long. More Pedrad fun and Fourtris moments to come. Please review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

 **I love your reviews so much! It seems like you guys hate the cashier lady more than Eric himself, lol. Lookout for an important author's note at the bottom. Enjoy!**

 **(Tobias POV)**

"But it's so fluffy!" Uriah whines, wrapping his arms around the head of the dog. It's so giant, it resembles a bear more than a dog. Tris is on her knees, rubbing the dog's ears. It's such a cute puppy I just want to- NO! Focus Tobias. Whose dog is this?

"Where the fuck did you guys get this dog? Seriously, this is a crime." I warn.

None of them are listening, and the next thing I know, I'm sitting on the ground, being licked to death by the incredibly fluffy dog. It lays down and rolls onto it's back, and we all pet its soft belly. Tris has completely let go, laying on her back in the grass next to the dog. The dog flips over and rests its head on her stomach. Tris giggles and pets the dogs head gently. She looks so happy.

We are pulled from our puppy petting by a feminine laugh from behind us. Tris and I jump up and take several steps back, distancing ourselves from the crime scene. We see a tall woman in her late thirties with short brown hair approaching. A young girl, maybe four or five, walks beside her, holding her hand. Zeke and Uri wave at her as she picks up the dog's leash, smiling back at them. The little girl wraps her tiny arms around the dog's leg. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen.

"Thanks for watching Bear for me while I took my daughter to the bathroom. I just can never seem to get him to stay with me. He likes to take off sometimes. Did he try to run away from you two?" She asks. Zeke and Uri exchange a look before scoffing.

"Of course not. We're too strong for him." Zeke claims, lying through his teeth. _Thank god they didn't steal this dog. Or let it get away._

"Well thanks, I appreciate it. Have a nice day!" The lady walks away, taking her kid and Bear with her. I can't believe I thought they were stealing the dog.

"You guys are so stupid. Tris and I were having a moment before we had to race down here to stop you guys from stealing someone's dog. Why would you let us think that!" I scold him. He just shrugs.

"You guys foiled our plans. We assumed you would be too into making out that you wouldn't see us sneak it into the Jeep. It's your own fault, really." He claims. I roll my eyes and he just smiles.

"What's next, Zeke?" Tris asks impatiently. His face lights up.

"Your loyalty test. I think you will like this challenge in particular. To the Batmobile!" Zeke declares dramatically. Uri runs to Tris, throwing her over his shoulder. I'm about to yell at him to stop, considering Tris doesn't take kindly to touching like that, but she's squealing with laughter and I realize she's fine with this. She giggles and playfully swats his back trying to escape. I feel a pang of jealousy as I'm left behind. _I want to be the one to hold her like that._

By the time I reach the Jeep, Tris is laying across the back seat, shaking with laughter. Uri wears a smirk that indicates he just told some sort of fart joke. Tris spots me and props herself up on her elbows, giving me room to sit down. After I buckle my seatbelt, she surprises me by carefully resting her head down again, only now she's laying her head on my lap. She lays on her back, looking up at me with bright eyes and a wide grin.

As we drive I lose my hands in her hair, getting used to the feeling of her head on my thighs. Tris closes her eyes in contentment and it's one of the most relaxed versions of her I've seen. I can't help but place a kiss on her forehead, making her sigh softly.

As usual, just as Tris and I get comfortable, Zeke and Uri are right there to interrupt. Zeke pulls over in front of a big, modern house. Most of the exterior is painted black and white, and a fancy black sportscar is parked in the driveway. _I know that car from somewhere…_

"Wait, isn't that-" Uri is cut off by Zeke.

"Shhhhhhh. Don't you dare say anything else." Zeke turns back to us to explain. "Welcome to challenge number three. The rules are as follows: don't talk, don't ask questions, and don't get caught. Here, you'll be needing these." Zeke passes each of us a new roll of plastic wrap. Is this Peter's car? Is it Max's? I have no clue. I open my mouth to protest, but Zeke immediately cuts me off.

"This follows your rules, you know. I'm not breaking and entering, and plastic wrap won't 'deface' his property, so it's not illegal. Also, I'm going to blackmail you. Refuse to do this and I will send _the picture_ to the team's group chat. My finger is hovering over the send button as we speak." Zeke threatens, rather pleased with himself. _Fuck._

"What picture?" Tris asks, innocently. Zeke immediately passes Tris his phone, _the picture_ on full display. _Fuck fuck fuckety fuck._

Tris is barely able to hold the phone she is laughing so hard. I take this opportunity to steal it from her, and I turn away to block her arms as she frantically attempts to take it back. I delete _the picture_ and smile in victory, smugly handing the phone back to Zeke.

He just smirks, hitting the home button on the phone. _The picture_ is his background.

"God damnit Zeke!" I exclaim. This is bad.

"Do you think I'm that stupid? I have three backups on this phone, plus 6 on my computer. I have a couple eight by tens and a wallet sized photo if you want it Tris." He explains. Tris nods hysterically, still laughing too hard to speak.

"Okay, okay! I give up. Let's plastic wrap this damn car already!" I exclaim. We grab our rolls of plastic wrap and carefully exit the Jeep, walking slowly up the driveway. This is a nice house, and I wouldn't be surprised if it has some sort of high tech security system. Is trespassing a crime? Probably.

We work in silence, carefully following each other around the car, wrapping it four layers thick. We get the lower half of the car done with ease, but as we make it to the windshield, we all reach the end of our rolls. Uri immediately falls to the ground, dramatically reaching to the sky and silently screaming _NOOOOO._ Zeke has the exact opposite reaction, walking calmly over to the Jeep, opening the trunk. Tris and I follow him in curiosity, leaving Uri to act out his own death in front of the partially wrapped car.

Zeke opens his trunk to reveal a large black duffle bag. He unzips the seams and the bag's sides roll open, revealing every supply you could possibly need when pranking someone.

"Pick your poison." He declares. Tris's eyes light up, and she reaches for the shaving cream and a giant tub of pink glitter. I settle for some good old post it notes and bubble wrap. Tris runs back to the car and Zeke stops me before I follow her.

"Hold onto her. Few people appreciate the destructive properties of glitter." He explains, winking as he sends me back to Peter's car. Zeke follows me with a single rubber chicken. Strange.

We return to the car and I toss a roll of bubble wrap at Uri, who jumps up and finishes wrapping the car in under a minute. Nothing motivates the Pedrad boys quite like pranks. I follow his work with Zeke's help, going through six pads of post its. Tris is next, first using the shaving cream to create several dicks on the roof of the car, before pouring the entire container of glitter over the top. The glitter sticks to the shaving cream dicks in a satisfying way, and covers the entire roof, as well as the ground around it. The car looks like a little kid's arts and crafts project. Zeke nods in approval, whispering in my ear as Tris dumps the last of the glitter over the hood.

"I've always thought of Tris as a sisterly figure, but as I'm watching her pour glitter on this car, I'm starting to realize that she has a sweet ass." He says. I elbow him sharply in the side. He was standing with his legs crossed and my jab causes him to fall, landing right on the rubber chicken.

The shriek that the chicken emits is the loudest, shrillest sound I've ever heard in my entire life. As the scream plays out, the four of us freeze, looking at each other in terror. When the sound finally stops, Zeke scrambles to his feet, causing the chicken to make one last squeak, making all of us jump.

Before we have a chance to process everything, the front door flies open, revealing Peter, clad in sweatpants and anger.

"RUN!" Zeke yells, causing Tris to tear off towards the Jeep. Uri follows her immediately, and Peter begins to chase after him.

Zeke throws the chicken hard, managing to peg Peter in the forehead. He staggers back, falling on his ass.

"I WILL FUCKING KILL ALL OF YOU!" Peter screams, causing Zeke to scamper off after Uri. I feel the adrenaline propelling my legs forward, racing down the driveway onto the street. Just ahead of me Tris and Uri are jumping in the car frantically, and I can hear Peter's bare feet beginning to run down his driveway. Zeke swings the door open so eagerly, I'm surprised it doesn't fall off. I jump in the back, slamming the door just seconds before Peter is there, pounding on the window.

The Jeep lurches forward as Zeke pulls away from Peter's house. As he tears down the street, I catch a glimpse of Peter standing in the middle of the road, smoke pouring from his ears. I would be laughing if it were under different circumstances. I'm breathing heavily, trying to calm down when I notice Tris is barely breathing at all.

She's sitting next to me in the backseat with her feet tucked under her, her entire body shuddering. Her arms are wrapped tightly around her sides, her head bowed down. It looks like someone just attacked her.

"Tris? Are you hurt?" Uri speaks the question on my mind, turning around in his seat.

She shakes her head, but doesn't look up. Zeke slows down now that we are far away from Peter, pulling over in the grass.

"Tris, what's wrong?" Zeke asks, his voice gentle and serious. He knows just as well as I do that she's not okay.

She slowly lifts her head and my heart drops as I see a tear streak down her cheek. I want to pull her into my arms, but something tells me that's not what she needs right now.

"I'm okay guys…I just don't do well with that kind of stuff… the yelling, running for your life stuff, you know?" She finally takes a deep breath, releasing her sides. "I just need a minute to calm down." She explains.

I reach out a hand to comfort her, and she sort of holds it, playing with my fingers. She's calming down faster than I expected. I was worried it would be more like the time I discovered her scars.

"I'm sorry Tris, it's my fault. I pushed Zeke." I admit. She smiles slightly, shaking her head.

"No, it was that damn rubber chicken." She jokes, halfheartedly. She wipes her hands against her leggings, taking more deep breaths.

"I know just what you need, Tris. The fourth challenge is perfect for this." Zeke says, seriously. Uri groans and I shake my head.

"No way Zeke. Take her home." I warn him. Tris smirks slightly, looking from me to Zeke.

"What's the fourth challenge, Zeke?" She asks daringly.

"Secret." He says, a smile spreading across his face once again. Tris scoffs.

"Bring it on." She declares, making Uri laugh. Zeke grins at her, shifting into drive again. He begins to drive back towards the city, the radio blaring once again.

Tris pulls her seatbelt on, untucking her legs and leaning back against the headrest. I'm baffled by her rapid change of emotions. I lean in and speak softly to her again.

"Tris, you really don't have to do this. We can get you home right now." I promise her. She just shakes her head.

"Tobias, I'm fine. I just needed a minute. I don't want to go home yet." She explains. I mull over her response for a minute.

"Just promise you will tell me if they get to be too much for you. I won't be offended." I say.

"They aren't too much for me. I'm kind of having the time of my life over here. It's been forever since I've had this much fun." She admits, smiling.

"Good. I can tell they are thrilled to have you here. Seriously. Zeke doesn't let just anyone touch his glitter." I joke, making her giggle.

"Speaking of glitter, can you explain why Zeke has a half-naked photo of you covered in sequins while wearing a tutu as his home screen? I feel like I need some context for _the picture_." She teases. I feel the blood rush to my cheeks.

"First of all I was drunk. Really drunk. Maybe the drunkest I've ever been in my life." I begin. She rolls her eyes.

"So when you get drunk you bedazzle things?" She teases.

"No! Well, not usually. I was at Zeke's house and everything was sort of... there. I woke up the next morning with a pile of sequins in my underwear. And this wasn't even the worst thing I've done when drunk. It's just the worst thing Zeke has a picture of." I admit, making her laugh.

"So you're a happy drunk?" She asks.

"I basically turn into Zeke when I'm two beers in." I admit. Her eyes go wide.

"That's terrifying." She comments.

"Just be glad you haven't seen Zeke drunk yet. That's a whole different level of insane." I warn.

I've been around a drunk Zeke a lot, and it's not a challenge many people can handle. Zeke becomes convinced he has different super powers, and he spends all night 'proving it' to the people around him. On multiple occasions, he's twisted an ankle or put his foot through the wall trying to prove that he can perform parkour like a professional. Sometimes he runs around with a spatula, casting spells on people. His parties are always entertaining.

Zeke pulls into a small lot in front of a building painted all black. The sign reads 'Ultimate Laser Tag'.

"I honestly wanted the fourth challenge to be paintball, but then I discovered it costs almost twenty bucks a person. So, we're here. Your final test, Tris. Prove to me you can kick some twelve-year-old ass." Zeke explains. That makes sense. Zeke may be a pro football player, but he is the cheapest person I've ever met.

"Let's do this." Tris says confidently, a grin spreading across her face.

"Last one there is Tobias!" Uri yells.

The car doors fly open as we take off for the building. I see a flash of blonde just behind me as Tris catches up. As we reach the front door, she's neck and neck with Uri in last place which is impressive, given his profession. Tris is exceptionally fit. I wonder if she used to be a professional athlete of some sort.

As we enter the building, the person behind the register immediately recognizes Uriah. They perform an extremely complicated handshake involving several spins and claps and Tris watches in awe. Not even Zeke and I have a handshake this complex. The laser tag guy winks at him and motions for us all to come through, no payment necessary. They immediately race for the room with the equipment and Tris and I stay back to walk together.

"I've never played before. I might suck at this." She admits sheepishly.

"Don't worry about it. We're playing against preteens. Zeke and Uri already love you just for coming." I promise.

"Really? They don't think I'm boring?" She asks.

"Of course not! You're the Pedrad whisperer today. They love you." I assure her. She smiles proudly at me, relieved. She's so sweet and fun, of course she won them over immediately.

We reach the equipment room and Uri and Zeke are already shooting at each other, even though their vests aren't working yet. I grab the biggest one I can find and loosen the straps as far as possible. The vest is still tight around my torso, clearly made for a child. I turn to help Tris, but she's already strapped one on. It's several sizes smaller than mine, but her petite frame looks made for it. She pretends to shoot me and I dramatically clutch my chest, staggering back. She giggles and I notice her hair is partially trapped under the back of her vest. I close the space between us and carefully untuck her soft blonde locks from the strap, making her sigh.

Our vests light up as the manager comes over, opening the door to the laser tag arena. Tris wraps her arms around my torso sweetly. As I move to hug her back, my vest beeps and the light flashes. I turn and discover her laser gun aimed at my back and I gasp at the unexpected betrayal. She and Uri exchange a look before they dash into the laser tag room together. I guess it's us against them.

"They're so going down." Zeke promises, adjusting his vest once more before we go in after them.

It proves extremely challenging for Zeke and I to beat Tris and Uri. Not only is Uri the master of laser tag, but their team has exceptional strategies. Tris makes an incredible sniper and takes me out almost a dozen times. Even Zeke can't seem to catch Uri as he weaves expertly through the course. By the end of five rounds, we've only won once.

"WE GIVE UP! YOU GUYS WIN!" Zeke shouts, finally surrendering. It's nearing lunchtime, and all this running around is exhausting.

"I thought you'd never surrender." Tris says, appearing behind us. I jump at her sudden appearance and Zeke yelps. She wears a confident, sassy smirk as she holsters her laser gun. She's never looked hotter.

Uri runs up behind us, giddy with joy.

"WE WON BITCHES! At last I have bested the powerful Zeke!" He celebrates, high-fiving Tris proudly.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. It's lunchtime." Zeke comments. As he says this, my stomach growls.

We all remove our vests and Zeke thanks the manager for letting us in. As we walk to the car, Tris comes up from behind me, enveloping my torso in a hug.

"What, no gun this time?" I tease. She giggles and moves to my side and I wrap an arm around her back.

"Are you mad?" She asks hesitantly.

"Of course not. You guys deserved to win. You're a ruthless sniper." I admit. She shrugs.

"I've never even shot a gun before. It just made sense to go to high ground so I could see better." She reasons. Her strategy is smart, and she and Uri share that mindset. Zeke and I may be close, but our brains work very differently.

"Well, you're a natural. I could teach you." I offer. She looks at me, surprised.

"How to shoot?" She questions. I nod.

"That would be cool. I want to learn." She admits fearlessly.

"Between shooting and self-defense training, I could make you a dangerous woman." I say. She smirks. For a brief second, I imagine my arms over hers, holding her close as she fires the gun while the wind whips around us. That would be a kick-ass date.

As we reach the car Zeke opens the trunk and rummages through his black duffel bag.

"Tris, you have proven yourself worthy of our friendship. Consider yourself initiated." Zeke declares, handing her something from behind his back.

"It is truly an honor, Zeke." Tris replies. She bursts out laughing as Zeke hands her a small rectangular piece of paper. I groan as I realize Tris is now holding a wallet sized copy of _the picture._ The pink sequins stuck to my abs match the bright pink tutu around my waist. _They will never let me live that down._

Zeke grabs a pink tub of glitter and hands it to Tris.

"You've earned this. Use it wisely. And please don't open it in the car." He warns. Tris giggles and takes it happily, proud of her earnings.

"Thank you, Zeke. I promise some of this will end up in Peter's gym bag." She hints, winking. That would be amazing. Peter's uniform would be sparkly for weeks.

She's grinning from ear to ear as we hop in the Jeep. Tris sits close to me, examining _the picture._ My cheeks feel hot as I realize Zeke just gave her a picture of me almost naked. The glitter and tutu changes the mood, but still. Not my finest moment.

"I'm keeping this forever." She teases. I groan and she laughs, leaning against me. She seems so comfortable, it makes me feel warm.

Tris has her head buried against my shoulder, yawning occasionally. She lazily traces my hand with her index finger. I've never experienced such a comfortable silence before.

Zeke brings us to The Pit for burgers and cake. It's the perfect place for the four of us, and we spend lunch laughing until our stomachs hurt, sharing stories of the crazy things the Pedrad boys have done.

"So, we had to return the goat, but we couldn't find the hole in the fence where we stole it from! We ended up having to tie the goat to the porch and ring the doorbell. We barely made it out of there in time." Uri finishes. Tris's mouth is hanging open. She wouldn't think it was funny if she was there. We almost got arrested.

"So Tris, what's the craziest thing you've ever done?" Zeke asks. Tris just shrugs.

"I haven't had a very eventful life. Covering Peter's car with glitter might be it." She explains. _Really?_

"No way. You're lying. That means whatever it is must be super embarrassing." Zeke shoots back. Tris's forehead crinkles as she frowns.

"Seriously. My family is super religious. I've never done anything fun." Tris claims. If I had never met Zeke and Uri, my story would be the same.

"So you did crazy shit in college?" Zeke inquires. Tris looks down, deep in thought.

"Well, not really. There was this one time though, my... boyfriend," Her eyes flit to mine nervously, "He convinced me to help him egg our professor's house. I don't know why we did it, but we didn't get caught." She admits. It's hard to imagine her throwing eggs at a teacher's house, but then again she did a number on Peter's car.

"And that's the craziest thing you've ever done?" I ask. She nods.

"Lame." Zeke declares, "I bet there's a bunch of skinny dipping and girl on girl stuff you're leaving out. Right Four?" He asks. I just roll my eyes while Tris turns a deep shade of pink.

"My college experience was not the same as yours, I'm sure. I actually went to classes, instead of getting high and experimenting with dudes, like you." Tris shoots back. Uri bursts out laughing while Zeke's mouth hangs open.

"She got you, bro." Uri teases. Tris may be quiet, but she's not dumb. She can easily deliver a serious burn.

"So this one time when Zeke was high, he tried to race a parked car." Uri begins, "He tripped over the guardrail and rolled down the embankment into a canal." He explains.

Just like that, the stories keep rolling. Tris learns more about them than I'm sure she wanted to know. About half an hour has passed since we finished our cake when Tris shows me a text from Chris. It says, _'Where are you? Do you want to come home for movie night? I have night shift again:('_

"Do you want to ditch these two?" Tris whispers. _So badly._

"Let's do it." I reply. A grin pulls at her lips.

"Hey guys, I need to get home." Tris tells us. Zeke and Uri whine dramatically.

"I'll see you guys at practice tomorrow! It's almost 2:00, anyway." She points out. They seem satisfied by this arrangement.

The drive to Tris's apartment is short, but on the way Uri manages to tell Tris about the time they dared me to buy condoms and a cucumber at Walmart. They promised to pay me thirty bucks if I could get the cashier's number. The worst part was that the only cashier working at 2:30 in the morning happened to be a dude. I bought condoms and a cucumber for nothing.

Miraculously, Tris seems to think these stories are hilarious. I don't think any other woman would find it so endearing.

When we reach her building, we all make our way up the stairs. Tris carries her tub of glitter and a satisfied smile. When we reach her apartment, she opens the door and lets me in, before quickly shutting it, locking them out. They yell through the door.

"EWWWWW! They're making out in there!" Uri exclaims. Tris rolls her eyes.

"See you guys tomorrow!" I respond. I hear them whine through the door. Tris giggles and wraps me in a tight hug. I bury my head in her hair. Zeke and Uri are a ton of fun, but I've wanted to be alone with Tris all day.

"Welcome." Christina says from behind me, making Tris jump away from me.

"Uhhh, hey Chris!" Tris responds, blushing and running her hands through her hair. I'm not sure why she's embarrassed.

Chris is wearing black sweats and a tank top and it appears she's recently woken up. Will is using a laptop on the couch. He smiles at me.

"So I've got popcorn and Will found a cute rom-com. Tris can give you the tour while I clean up in here." Chris offers, giving Tris a wink.

"Thanks Chris." Tris replies. I remove my shoes in the front room, stacking them carefully near the door. Old habits die hard.

She brings me around the space pointing out Christina's bedroom, the bathroom, and a few other small rooms. The apartment is lively and full, the opposite of my place. When we get to the final room she hesitates before opening the door.

"So… This is my room. It's kind of messy. Sorry." She explains. I can't help but notice the way her hand is shaking as she opens the door. _Did I do something?_

She opens the door to reveal a cozy, soft room. I'm surprised by the range of colors, from a soft grey, to black, to bright blue. It's not even slightly messy, and everything seems organized. The careful placement of everything reminds me of my old room. Nothing would upset Marcus quite like a mess.

"Um, I know it's not much, but it works for me. I've lived here for two years now." She says timidly.

I'm not sure what's making her so nervous, but I think it has to do with me. She closes the door, pausing. After a moment she opens it swiftly again, glancing into the living room before leaving it open.

"Tris, it's really nice. Did you decorate it?" I ask. She shrugs.

"With Christina's help, yeah." She's wringing her hands again. I move to hold her hand, but she steps back, absentmindedly fidgeting with her dresser. _What did I do?_

I try to give her a reassuring smile, and she weakly returns it. I decide to give her some space.

I begin to wander around the room, admiring the yoga posters and little trinkets. She has many photos with Christina, and a few with Will. I realize there are no pictures of her with anyone else. _Where's her family?_ I'm about to ask her, but she's rummaging through her neatly organized closet and I don't want to bother her. The way she shuffles through her folded shirts doesn't sit right with me.

I notice several inspirational posters, as well as many health magazines and running shoes lined up neatly at the door. Everything in this room screams Tris, and it's incredibly cute.

She finally stops rummaging, holding a large grey sweatshirt in her hands. She looks at me timidly before sliding it over her head. It dwarfs her small frame and reaches her mid-thigh. The temperature of the room certainly doesn't call for such a warm garment, and she's already wearing a long sleeved fitted jacket underneath. _Is she scared I'm going to touch her?_ I don't know what to do.

"Tris, what is it?" I blurt out. Her fearful gaze rests on me.

"It's stupid." She mutters.

"No it's not. You can tell me, Tris." I promise her.

"I've never… I mean it's been a long time since I've had… a guy... in my bedroom. It's dumb, I don't know why I'm nervous, it's not like- uh." She flops back on her bedspread in defeat, sinking into her soft blue comforter. I sit next to her and grunt in surprise as I sink in much farther than I expected.

"Wow. This is… soft." I comment. Tris cringes.

"Oh. I forgot I still have this foam insert on. I used to need it for-" She abruptly stops talking, changing gears as she gets up, kneeling next to the bed.

"I could probably get this off pretty easily, I just need- " I cut her off.

"Tris, no, you don't need to. I just wasn't expecting it. I actually kind of like it." I continue, leaning back, "I could get used to this." I admit. Her eyes go wide with fear. _I just suggested I would be sleeping here._

"Shit. No, Tris, that's not what I meant. I just mean it doesn't bother me." I sigh. "I'm really screwing this up, aren't I?" I admit. She smiles, sitting next to me.

"It's fine Tobias. You didn't do anything wrong." She seems to relax.

I lean back, feeling the foamy mattress give under my weight. I'm surprised by the relief I feel in my back as I settle in to the softness.

All of the sudden it makes sense. _Her scars._ I can see why she would need an extra soft matress.

She lays down next to me and meets my eyes. Her gaze is meaningful and her eyebrows are drawn together. We seem to have reached an understanding about her scars. I won't mention them, and she will tell me when she's ready. Until then, I'm going to ignore the questions bouncing around my mind. She did the same for me.

Tris surprises me by reaching up to rest her hand on my cheek. For a second, I think she's going to kiss me, but she just grazes my chin. Her eyes are big and bright as she runs a hand through my hair. She drops her hand and scoots against me, tucking her head under my arm. It's a breathtaking feeling.

"Why are you wearing that sweatshirt?" I ask softly. She fiddles with the sleeves, sighing into my side.

"I just felt… nervous. I'm better now." She admits.

"It doesn't matter what you wear around me, Tris. I'm going to respect your space." I promise. She smiles timidly up at me. Something tells me not many guys have respected her space in the past. Like Peter.

"Unless you're wearing sequins and a tutu. Then I'm getting revenge." I joke. She giggles into my ribs.

"Alright you two. It's movie time." Christina quips, making both of us jump. She stands in the doorway, arms crossed with a smirk.

Tris enthusiastically hops off the bed before turning to give me a hand. I take it and she pulls me out of the soft bed, right into her arms. I hold her gently, closing my eyes.

"Thank you." She whispers in my ear. I lean down to plant a kiss on her head and lavender graces my lips.

When she pulls away, I open my eyes and spot Chris in the doorway, smiling like an idiot. She winks at me before retreating into the hallway.

"Go ahead Tobias. I'm going to change." Tris says with a smile. I nod in approval and return to the living room to find Will laying across the couch, Christina resting on his chest. They seem to be a very close couple. I sit on the love seat, careful to leave plenty of space for Tris.

"She's happy." Will comments.

"So am I." I admit. Just being around her makes me feel lighter. Will nods, smiling.

Tris quietly emerges from the bedroom in her classic leggings, only now she's wearing a loose grey T-shirt. She's chewing her lip and fidgeting, hesitating to come into the room. I give her an encouraging smile. She's trying to be comfortable with her scars, but it's hard.

"You look beautiful, Tris." I assure her. She rolls her eyes, but a small smile plays on her lips. She sits next to me with her feet tucked under, wrapping a crotchet blanket around her arms. I lean in and whisper.

"Do you want me to take off my shirt so we're even?" I ask, half serious. She giggles, shaking her head. She lets the blanket fall around her, brushing invisible dust off her forearms before settling in. She leans back, near me but still not touching. Will starts the movie.

It's a rom-com from a few years ago, but the title eludes me. It's some type of love triangle drama with a vapid girl who probably doesn't deserve either of the men who are into her. I find myself laughing with everyone, however, as she plays with the minds of the guys madly in love with her. It's a pretty good movie.

I'm pulled from the movie when Tris flinches next to me, before scurrying back to her room. I'm completely thrown by her reaction and I begin to search for a bug or something in her seat while Will pauses the movie. They both seem unsurprised by her reaction.

"He doesn't know, Will." Chris speaks softly.

"Tris just doesn't do well with scenes like this. I can fast forward or let it play if you want to see it." Will explains.

I look at the screen and realize the guys have gotten wrapped up in a bar fight. I didn't even notice how this could be upsetting to Tris, I'm so used to movies full of violence like this.

"You can fast forward. I'm gonna check on her." I say. Will shrugs. It bothers me that this is a normal occurrence.

I enter her room to find her on the bed, flipping through an old journal. She looks apprehensive, but she's not panicking.

"Is it always like this?" I ask carefully. She shrugs.

"They used to try to screen the movies before they watched them with me, but almost every movie has a scene or two that gets me. It's just easier like this." She explains. My heart sinks. She seems to face so much stress and fear everyday. Tris is a fighter.

"I'm okay, Tobias." She assures me, resting a hand on my arm. I roll my eyes, which makes her smile.

"Let's go." She says, dragging me into the living room by the arm.

When we reach the couch, I sit with my back towards the arm of the loveseat, giving Tris a more comfortable spot to lay down if she wants it. She smirks, before fitting herself perfectly against my chest. It reminds me of how we touched last night, in the chasm.

The movie continues for another hour without a hitch, though I find myself quite distracted by Tris. For a while, she's tracing lazy shapes near my collarbone. When she gets tired of this, we try to make each other laugh with ridiculous comments and jokes about the movie. Eventually Tris gets tired and lets herself rest against me. Now her breathing falls even and her face relaxes. She looks so peaceful and innocent like this. She's far more captivating than the movie.

I'm pulled from my thoughts as the sound stops, the movie pausing in the middle of a passionate make out scene. The frame Will paused on shows the more handsome male lead roughly pinning the female on the bed, kissing her neck. I obviously haven't been paying attention to the movie, because I still don't know the name of a single character.

"Tris, you can go if you want. Or Will can fast-forward." Christina comments. Tris doesn't stir, still sound asleep.

"She's sleeping." I explain.

"No she's not." Christina says simply, not even turning to check.

"Christina." I say, urging her to look. She turns with a puzzled face, before coming over to examine Tris for herself. _Why is this such a big deal?_

"Tris! I need your help! There's a moth in the pantry!" Christina whispers urgently. Tris doesn't move, unsurprisingly.

"A moth?" I question. Chris just shakes her head.

"Why are you so upset? Have you never seen her sleep before?" I joke. Christina rolls her eyes.

"Not with a guy against her! When Will started sleeping over, it took her almost a month to sleep normally. And he was sleeping in my room." She explains.

"Why would Will make her nervous, but not me?" I ask, confused.

"Ask her when she wakes up, I guess." Christina says with a smile, shaking her head in disbelief. She returns to the couch with Will and they play the movie again.

I've stopped paying attention to the movie entirely, my focus shifting to the questions swirling in my mind. _Why did she fall asleep on me? Was it an accident? Will she be scared when she wakes up? What made her so scared of Will? What happened to her? What happened to her? What happened to her?_

The more I get to know her, the more I suspect her story is like mine.

Tris stirs slightly, wrenching me from my thoughts. I hold my breath as she stretches, resting her hand on my shoulder. She sighs, settling in. I swear, she must weigh fifty pounds.

I feel the exhaustion of today weighing on me, combining with the heat Tris gives off. Sleep is tempting me, but I want to be awake if Tris gets up, just in case she freaks out.

I take in everything I can about her, trying to memorize all the tiny details. Her nose turns up at the end in the most adorable way. Her lips are thin and expressive. Her eyelashes are longer than I thought possible. She's so beautiful.

I'm surprised when I notice a tattoo near her collarbone. From what her shirt isn't covering, it appears to be part of a bird. A raven? I'm not sure what it is, or what it means, but I want to find out someday.

Next thing I know, Christina is standing next to the couch, towering over me. She places a gentle hand on Tris's back.

"I have to go to work soon, and when I'm ready I'm kicking you and Will out. That is all." She whispers. With that, she strides out of the room.

"Yes, she's always like that." Will says from the couch, beaming.

Christina is bold and honest, and I respect that. She seems like the type of person Tris needs.

I let my eyes close, listening to the sound of her breathing. _Lavender._

It feels like moments later, but it must have been at least ten minutes when Christina reenters the room, dressed in blue scrubs. I groan, making her chuckle. She places her hand on Tris's back, rubbing circles.

Tris's eyes open slowly and then she flinches, sitting up quickly. My chest feels tight. Her breath picks up and Christina pulls her into a hug, calming her down.

After a minute, her breathing slows back down and she looks at me with pink cheeks.

"Hi." She says simply, a smile tugging at her lips. I smile and give her hand a squeeze.

Christina gets up to gather her stuff, giving Will a kiss before he leaves.

"I have to go." I admit. She surprises me by leaning in for a brief kiss. It's short and sweet, and it feels comfortable. She breaks the kiss, pulling back with a grin.

"See you tomorrow." She says, beaming.

"Goodnight Tris." I tell her, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. She giggles as Christina comes from behind me, grabbing me by the ear.

"No hard feelings, but I'm gonna be late." She says, dragging me to the door. Tris is cracking up on the couch.

As we make it out of the apartment, she stops me briefly.

"Sorry, she really needs sleep and she shouldn't be alone with you in there right now. But I think you should stick around. I'm starting to think you're good for her." Christina admits, sending me a smile before jogging off in the direction of the elevator.

I'm smiling like an idiot on the drive home. A combination of earning Christina's approval and the feeling of Tris trusting me makes me feel warm.

It was a good day.

 **Hey guys I'm sorry it's been so long! I ended up going on a surprise vacation, and it became impossible to get Wi-Fi long enough to post this chapter. Thank you all so much for your support it means more than you know. You guys kept reviewing and encouraging me to post, and I appreciate it. For those of you that asked, no, the training room and dauntless team stuff is not going away! The next several chapters will be set there for sure, plus some in the future. Thanks for reading, I love you guys!**


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